Restoration track

We've been back over two months and some people are asking, "So what's this restoration plan look like?" We're figuring that out as we go along.

It's been good to get back to Taiwan after being away except for short trips for over a year. We've enjoyed reconnecting with friends and co-workers, and the added bonus of having relatives in town. Yes, for the first time since I was 23 I live in the same city as one of my sisters. Carolyn and her family are here, with Brian working as the high school chaplain at Morrison. This is something that our kids actually imagined and pr'ed about while they were still at Morrison and Drevets were in Kansas, so for them it's a bit amazing to see such an unlikely thing actually come to pass. They did have a hand in it, as during a family reunion in June 2006 they "helped" Brian fill out preliminary apps for M and for Black Forest Academy (as in typed in all the responses for him, with his approval.) Hopefully they're now lifting up him as he takes on the challenges of that job. I can't explain what a delight it is to be a "live uncle and aunt" from week to week and to enjoy regular contact with my sister and Brian. It's even better than I imagined it would be!

But after a couple months back without an update, I thought I'd talk about the restoration process. If you remember, last April I was confronted about some concerns, such as arrogance and unteachability by my coworkers in TEAM Taiwan. After that confrontation, they provided me with a year long restoration plan to follow.

I am still the clinical supervisor and director for our Counseling Center staff, associates, and interns. This year we have two interns, several new associates, and a total of 6 part-time counselors in two offices that are 2 hours apart (by high speed rail and taxi.) But my job has shifted, since I'm not counseling myself. In some cases, that has meant saying "no" to people who are close to our hearts. But as one person put it, "Since you're not my counselor, can you be my friend?" Well, it's not quite the same, but, yes, we can be friends in appropriate ways as part of the same community, sharing common interests, and so forth. And we have been able to do more hospitality, both with overnight guests in our now empty bedrooms, and with meals out and meals at home. In Taiwan, where eating out is for many a lifestyle, not an occasion, sharing a meal at home is actually more of an unusual foreign tradition than a commonplace happening. Laura loves to host friends at home, especially when it means I am her kitchen buddy. Laura and I also enjoyed a week as hosts at a retreat center, serving the guests and tracking a typhoon that hovered offshore for days only to wander back over the unfortunate Philippines.

The main reason I'm not counseling is to allow time for restoration. I'm doing more study of the good book. Over the last 6 months I've read through it with a focus on pride, arrogance, and humility. Now I'm beginning a second read with a focus on the holy one's kindness, compassion, and patience. I do this alone and meet with a friend each week to reflect together. I've also taken a personal retreat for a couple days with just the good book and the good master. In addition, each month I'm reading a book from a list prepared just for me by a couple other caregivers. I've posted the list on Amazon's listmania as "restoration plan 2009", so if you're good with the web, take a look for yourself! So far my favorite book from the list, which I'm also reading aloud with Laura, is Leadership and Self-deception. I like the indirect way the book keeps challenging my denial and tendency to defend myself when I make poor choices, which I do all the time! Laura, for instance, likes it when I serve her just because I love her, not because I love her and I want something in return :-). One of my friends thinks that driving down the road in Taiwan and showering unconditional love on everyone (and especially the buses and Mercedes) is a truly radical calling. We decided, tongue in cheek, that such radical behavior should be carefully monitored and only metered out in small doses. I also need to warn some of you brothers not to try this without female supervision. (Some of you sisters may also need the female supervision.)

During the summer, I met for many hours with a counselor along with Laura and a couple of times our whole family (in the few weeks we were actually all together!) I also met individually with a second counselor. We also spent a week in a retreat for international ministry staff focusing on rest and renewal. Since returning to Taiwan, I've been meeting each week with one of my TEAM coworkers to reflect on my journey and be accountable also. These caregivers have all brought their own journeys, their perspective, and their skills alongside me in a deeply invested way and the discussions we have shared continue to inform, nuture, and confront my internal dialogues as I continue my restoration and growth. They all share my background in international ministry and professional caregiving, and in many ways can each reflect on similar experiences in their own lives and ministries. Both alone and together with Laura, I have also had the chance to reflect on my challenges with mentors, friends, family, and coworkers. It is amazing and humbling to realize how many caring people surround us. The "huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith" is not just in the sky, but right here in our world.

Rest and contemplation are precious treasures. I'm just noticing as I write this today that "rest" is right there in "rest-oration." Thank you for your part in allowing me to spend some time in restoration. I know that this time and the resources we are being given are bought with a cost. While focusing on my own challenges, I am also seeking to hear, to remember, and not to minimize the concerns from others that motivated the confrontation in April, as well as do as thorough a moral inventory as I am able. Where it is possible to do so, I also desire to make amends.

This restoration journey is not over, and in some ways should never end, but it is amazing how fast the last six months have gone by. I do not know what I do not know, but I do know and trust someone who does.

With love from whatever side we're on, Steve and Laura

PS Tomorrow morning we take off on a 10 day trip to the US. We will check in with Laura's parents in Colorado, with TEAM in Illinois, and attend a conference on "Mental health and Missions" in Indiana. As an added bonus, we'll get to see Sarah, who is attending this conference as a student interested in related graduate studies. In particular, she would like to find a research and clinical program that would provide her with a fellowship during ph.d. studies. That is a big request! For us, it's still hard to believe she will graduate from college this next May.

Where is the light switch?

Wouldn't it be fine if when we are confused and in doubt, we could reach over and turn on the light?

 

From a spiritual point of view, many of us hope that practicing healthy disciplines will illuminate our lives and our walk. When a spiritual leader fails, we may attribute it to lack of an inner life. For instance, some have suggested that David should have been at the front lines, fighting with his troops, when he made the poor choice that resulted in the death both of his son and of another man about which nothing bad is said--unless it was a failure for him to attend to his wife when he had the chance. Perhaps others would surmise that David had left behind the contemplative life reflected in the Psalms. Or maybe it was a mid-life crisis brought on by overactivity and years of crisis followed by a loss of meaningful activity--David, the overachiever, who had killed his 10,000s was now not even wanted at the front. (Maybe administrative work for a kingdom wasn't quite the same adrenaline rush?) One way or another, we're stuck with a drastic failure by the "man after the father's own heart." Followers like us have probably been pondering this ever since.

 

We do know what David says after he is confronted. In part, he wrote, "the sacrifices of [the master] are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O Master, you will not despise."

 

As I have returned to Taiwan, I have begun to hear two things clearly: a) some people have been offended by things I have said or done or reports of such things to the extent that they have lost trust in me as a counselor and an ambassador of reconciliation. b) my confidence is not in my own righteousness or hope of restoration, but rather in the same one that David trusted so long ago. I will be continuing to process this, to practice spiritual disciplines, to listen to those who would counsel me, and to seek mercy rather than justice.

 

At the same time, there are still things here for us to do and the last 2 weeks have been full of valuable times intermingled with the difficult discussions and a lot of disclosure of my situation to friends, coworkers, and clients who are affected by my challenges. The thing I come back to is that I am grateful for my Master, who has sustained us in so many ways and yet sustains us--not because of my worthiness, but because of his heart of mercy and grace. I also grieve for my own failures, whether I knew they were failures and acted wantonly or was unaware of my failures and acted in ignorance--and I'm sure I have done both. I am also grateful for the things that the master has worked together for good here in Taiwan, regardless of what is or is not ahead.

 

I've been asked by those in my mission who have confronted me to refrain from counseling. At the same time, I'm being asked to continue as director and clinical supervisor for the team at CCG. That makes for an interesting combination. Step by step. Was the light on and did it go off? Or was the light off and it came on? Or is that a really useless metaphor that just helped me to get started writing about some difficult times?

 

Anyway, thanks to all of you who are asking and all of you who are interceding for us. While we have some discouraging moments and a lot of questions, we also have times of peace and confidence that our trust is still where it needs to be, regardless of my or our effectiveness or spiritual performance. We definitely need to rest in the master's loving care, now and for a long time to come.

 

Here are a couple of the sayings that motivate me as I write, "Love does no wrong to a neighbor." "So then, let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual understanding."

 

Love in him who keeps us, Steve and Laura

 

PS TEAM Taiwan's ministry staff will be gathering this weekend to seek the master's direction in a time of vision building. Please keep us all in mind Friday through Monday.

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 40454, TAIWAN
011.886.4.2236.6145, of 4.2236.1901, fx 4.2236.2109, cell 9.2894.0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 713.408.7208 (new cell #, note Houston area code)
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800.343.3144 <www.team.org.tw/ccg>, <http://groups.google.com/group/TEAMspinella/>,
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu>, <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>

 

The great (or not) transition

Announcement: Are these email updates too long? Would you rather get short "pr requests?" Would you like to get both? You can look or sign up at...

http://groups.google.com/group/spinellapr or email us with a request for us to add you to the pr request list.

__________________________________

 

Well, it may not be the biggest transition ahead for us Spinellas, what with three emerging adults and two fifty-plus, still think we're in our (fortys?), not yet mostly gray-haired empty nesters. Still this month is full of comings and goings. I'll just use this email update to keep you posted.

 

First, the typhoon in Taiwan mainly affected the very steep mountain areas where they got eight feet or more of rain in a few days. We haven't heard specifically about our apartment, but if anything, there are probably some puddles of water on the floor. And my sister Carolyn Drevets, her husband Brian, and their four kids are now in Taichung, living in a brand new apartment at the school where our kids (previously) attended and Brian is the new high school chaplain. But we're still in Colorado.

 

Last Saturday Sarah headed to Rice with Laura along for the ride. Sunday night they made it into the heart of Texas (Lampasas, you can google it) before Sarah's Dodge minivan (formerly known as Violet) began shuddering and did not stop (unless it was in neutral.) So there it sits--the minivan, that is. A helpful local called a mechanic, who came with his wife and helped them get the car diagnosed (dead torque converter), checked into a motel, and now hopefully can dispose of the car (costs more to fix than the value of the car if it was fixed!)

 

All the same, with rides from friends, Sarah made it to Rice, and Laura made it (by airplane) back to Colorado yesterday. Sarah is at Rice early to be a co-adviser for Orientation week for a group of freshmen. She's looking forward to these relationships and connections, so keep her in your thoughts. This is her senior year at Rice, and she's also contemplating a future--a ministry year, an internship, a psych grad school, an option yet to be named? It's hard to believe that she is on track to graduate next Spring.

 

Joey meanwhile is just finished with finals after an intense summer of Chinese study in Suzhou, China, and immersion in Chinese language and culture, and connections with his fellow "critical language scholars" courtesy of the US state department. We hope to pick him up late Friday at the Denver airport. We look forward to debriefing and reflecting with him this next week before he heads to Rice. But we won't be surprised if he sleeps a lot, even with jet lag. (We also look forward to any gifts he brings us!)

 

Robby has been mountain biking, racqetballing, painting, and entertaining his younger cousins this summer, often without the presence of his siblings. It's been fun for us, though not as exciting as his sibs' adventures. Right now he's in the garage with Laura refinishing baseboards for the kitchen.

 

Laura, as usual, has been keeping us all connected, facilitated, and fed, networking with extended family, and participating with Steve in his journey of restoration.

 

Steve has been juggling the restoration journey, with readings, Bible studies, counselors and mentors, along with the family connections, networking, and general contracting/filling in the pieces as we help Laura's parents get their house in order after hail damage and deferred maintenance. It's definitely been a change of pace and focus, between the times of reflection and the physical work.

 

Next week Laura and I plan to travel to Rice with Joey and Robby and return by air, since they and Sarah will now be keeping a different car, "Wendy." Pam and Randy, yes, this is the '03 Ford Windstar we bought from you in Conneticut, while you were in Taiwan, in 2006, and drove across the US. The upside is that we won't need to drive the car back (about 20 hours) to Colorado. We'll then have one week before we leave for Taiwan September 1.

 

So in the midst of our transitions, we're also saying goodbye to a year based here in Colorado. It's been good to rediscover our "American" identity even as America itself changes and the community here also. When we left in 1996, this was the north edge of "town." Now we are in the middle of a larger and still growing suburban area--not so densely populated as Taiwan, but with about 1/2 a million people, many international organizations and communities, and still a lot of really beautiful scenery. While we've been around, we've seen snakes, a bear, foxes, coyotes, deer, a ferret (outside the kitchen windows,) and heard more Chinese and Spanish (the languages I recognize,) than ever before. 

 

With love from the far sides, Steve and Laura

 

PS Remember I sent you a link to a survey? Feel free to fill it out and pass it on to others who might be willing to reflect on my journey. Don't worry, it gives you a chance to say when, where, and for how long we've connected in our journeys. So far over 90 friends, family, clients, and colleagues have responded, some briefly and some with extensive comments. Each response is read carefully and valued as input that the father can use in my reflection and growth process. One thing to note--if you don't specifically give me your name in the survey, I don't know who you are. A few survey responses have assumed that I do. I also have received many notes by email and some great interaction in person and by phone. I've even gotten some very thoughtful comments and notes through facebook. Each of these comments is treasured and I have sought to also respond to each comment so that you know I've heard you. I would still like to hear from you if I haven't yet, whether your input is affirming or challenging, or both. Here is the link to the survey again http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=MIwStoNb6rUx8NtIXeSH4w_3d_3d

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 40454, TAIWAN
011.886.4.2236.6145, of 4.2236.1901, fx 4.2236.2109, cell 9.2894.0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 713.408.7208
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800.343.3144 <www.team.org.tw/ccg>, <http://groups.google.com/group/TEAMspinella/>,
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu>, <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>

 

Intervention for me

This spring, on our trip to Asia, I was confronted by a group of TEAM's leaders from Taiwan about some persistent concerns they have had about my relationships and my character. That was very painful! I certainly knew that there have been some relational challenges for me, both with these particular people, and with others also. I have sought to be open about acknowledging and addressing these issues, but I hadn't really absorbed how badly these friends and colleagues felt about our relationship until this intervention.

On the other hand, I know that I persistently fall short of what the father calls me to be. To zero in a bit, I know that sometimes I have come across to people as abrupt, inattentive, off-the-wall, intellectualizing, restless, angry, or arrogant. These are not things that emerged in Taiwan, but challenges I've been working on at least since my teenage years. I see this as an opportunity to humble myself in my family and community, get more help, and seek restoration. I especially want to spend more time with the father as I seek more of his grace. This may be a divinely orchestrated opportunity to build deeper relationships with TEAM's leaders in Taiwan and more widely throughout the ministry community there. Perhaps in this process other relational and personal failures on my part will come to light and I can make amends where it is possible to do so.

The people confronting me are saying that these issues have harmed my relationships with them and with others. I take this quite seriously. I grieve the impact that my failures have had on others. In particular, I regret the loss of safety and intimacy with these people who were willing to come to me and confront me with their concerns.

After our meeting, these leaders put together a restoration plan for me to follow over the next year. This includes such elements as counseling, directed reading, Bible study, personal retreats, and accountability to the leaders who have raised these concerns. There are a lot of good things in it! With Laura's support, I have already gotten started. While it is humbling to be confronted with my faults, it is good to take time to receive care. One of the most frequent questions I get over the years is, "Who cares for you?" Already this has been an opportunity for me to receive some excellent care and counsel.

If you have been through such an experience yourself, I'm sure you will not be surprised to hear that I (and Laura) have gone through a wide range of emotions. These certainly include denial, blame, doubt, and especially grief. We expect this emotional roller coaster to continue :-)

Could I ask you to help me in this restoration process? Here are three ways you might be able to help if you would like:

-Of course, we would like for you to remember us in this process. I invite you to continue with us in our journey.

-I have asked the brothers and sisters who confronted me to continue to let me know any time they see these concerns interfering with my relationships and ministry. I have asked the same of my family. I would like ask the same of you!

-As part of this journey, I'm looking for feedback from people who have shared experiences with me in many different contexts, including counseling and ministry. Would you be willing to fill out a simple feedback survey for me? Here is the link: http://www.surveymonkey.com/s.aspx?sm=MIwStoNb6rUx8NtIXeSH4w_3d_3d I'd like to ask you to complete it as a tool to help me in my journey. I also invite you to send it to anyone else you feel might have valuable input for me.

In him who keeps us (still!), Steve and Laura

PS We are still scheduled to return to Taiwan September 1. The plan asks that I continue in my role at CCG during the next year, with some limits.

If you would like more information or someone else you could talk to about this, don't hesitate to contact us. Our next email update will have more news about our summer.

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 40454, TAIWAN
011.886.4.2236.6145, of 4.2236.1901, fx 4.2236.2109, cell 9.2894.0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 713.408.7208 (new cell #, note Houston area code)
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800.343.3144 <www.team.org.tw/ccg>, <http://groups.google.com/group/TEAMspinella/>,
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu>, <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>

Are my kids okay?

The Woodmen Journal April 2009 published the following story about our family...

 

In 1996, Sarah was 8, Robby and Joey were 5. We had just left WVC and Colorado two months before and plopped ourselves into the middle of Taichung, Taiwan. I sat in the principal's office oozing anxiety onto the old Chinese furniture and waited. "Steve, your kids are doing great." That sent me back into the strange new Asian world feeling a little better, but of course the question didn't go away. Thirteen years later, I sit here in Colorado Springs. Now, our "emerging adults" are 1000 miles away at Rice University in Texas, and I'm still wondering, "Are my kids okay?"

 

One challenge for international families is dislocation. We grow up on the outside of local cultures. But an opportunity for us is global diversity. We engage multiple communities and cultures. For example, my son spent the night with a Taiwan family growing tea in the high mountains of Taiwan, playing basketball next to piles of tea worth many thousands of dollars. At one point, my daughter felt "stifled" by having to spend her college breaks in Asia with her family. The pictures of us at the tropical beach on Christmas day…all part of the dislocation experience.

 

A second challenge is life in the public eye. In Taiwan, Americans stick out before you know their names—especially kids. Then when our family does return to the US, we visit our sending churches and partners as a family, to raise money and report back on our ministry. Even adults find this a challenging role, much less teenagers! While these pressures may provide valuable life lessons, they can also be quite threatening.

 

One goal for our family has been to enjoy the international lifestyle God gave us. On a visit to Delaware, we were briefing our pre-teens on the upcoming family visit, and Joey blurted out, "Dad, this visit is all for you and nothing for us!" But an advantage to being in meetings every night was that we were able to go canoeing in the middle of the day! We enjoyed it! When they were teens, we offered the kids an "end of summer" bonus based on how well they contributed to the "family business." Their Taiwan rap song played at US churches definitely won the prize!

 

"Are my kids okay?" We pray a lot about that, and we know others do too. There is no question being an international ministry family has often taken us out of our comfort zone, but we are trusting God to use these stresses for the good so our whole family may share in his holiness. As empty nesters, we still think it's been a good thing! Don't let me mislead you. Not all kids who grow up in international ministry families consider it a good thing. We'll never know how our family would be different if we had stayed in Colorado. Global ministry is challenging, but so is raising kids. There are more chapters to be written but we're still wondering, "Are my kids okay?"

 

[Afternote: Right now we're all 5 back together in Colorado and having a great time--until Saturday, when Sarah leaves for East Asia. When Sarah first read this article, she said, "Dad, what do you mean? Of course, we're okay." One day at a time, right?! BTW, if you want to get Sarah's updates, go to groups.google.com/group/Sarahtravelupdates and sign up.]

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 40454, TAIWAN
011.886.4.2236.6145, of 4.2236.1901, fx 4.2236.2109, cell 9.2894.0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 713.408.7208 (new cell #, note Houston area code)
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800.343.3144 <www.team.org.tw/ccg>, <http://groups.google.com/group/TEAMspinella/>,
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu>, <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>

 

A different kind of update

Right now we're waiting for a delayed flight in San Francisco, en route to meetings in Taiwan, Hong Kong, and Thailand. I'm writing because it's been so long since I sent an email update.

 

Since we said, "Hello, Houston," we've returned to Colorado, spent a spring break week with our kids, traveled to Maryland for a week of meetings, and finished our taxes and financial aid forms. We both slept little last night and feel like we have jet lag before we have jet lag! Maybe this will help us adjust--some people believe it does!

 

You may wonder why I include the mundane matter of taxes and financial aid forms in my list. We are well aware that this year Rice University is not only hosting our emerging adults' education one and all, but also funding those educations through scholarships that total about as much as the total funding for our ministry in a year! That makes them a pretty important financial partner, and we are grateful. It's important that our financial paperwork gives them a full picture of our family situation, so that they have freedom to provide as much aid as their parameters allow. We've been very thankful for this part of our college equation, which perhaps helps you to understand why all three of our kids are at the same school. Rice has been very generous and we pray they will continue to be so. We also pray that each of our kids will make a unique and valuable contribution to Rice in their time there and also represent the school well to others in their activities "beyond the hedges."

 

A couple summer activities we want to share with you: Joey has applied for and received a state department (government) scholarship to study Chinese in Suchow, China, this summer. He is excited and honored by this opportunity, and he has been studying Chinese hard this year, and will learn more in this intensive summer program. The State Department Critical Languages Program pays all expenses (and expects all their time!) in this intensive summmer immersion program.

 

Sarah would like to head to Asia with a different sponsor. Her student ministries group, where she is actively involved in leadership and influence, sends a small group to Asia where they will study language at a university, build friendships with local students using their status as internationals as an attraction, and share their hearts in a way they hope will be winsome and influential. Unlike Joey's program, she'll have a lot more freedom to share her heart and also the need to raise a significant amount of funds if she's going to do this. (If you would like to know more about this project or partner with Sarah in this, she would love to hear from you. Her email is sarspin@gmail.com. Enough said!) The rest of the summer, for the second year, Sarah will be working at my former ministry, MTI.org, coaching and mentoring children whose families are heading into international ministries around the world.

 

Robby, so far, is planning to spend the summer with us in Colorado Springs. We're excited about that. Since Joey and Sarah will each be gone for significant parts of the summer, it will be great to have Robby around without his gregarious sibs.

 

Now about this trip to Asia. I don't want to go into too great detail about the meetings, but obviously we believe they will be important or we would not be making this effort in the middle of a busy "home assignment." The meetings in Hong Kong and Thailand will not be ones where we're leading, but ones where we are listening and participating while others lead. Pray with us that these meetings will be profitable, enjoyable, and lead to future benefits that have lasting impact.

 

Laura and I are also looking forward to biking in Taiwan and snorkeling in Thailand in between meetings :-) You're all invited for that part ;-) It will be a very busy month, but we want you to know we do not have ministry travel planned after our return from this trip May 4 until we move back to Taiwan again Sept first. (No promises, but certainly for us this has been an especially busy year for travel.

 

With love from the far side (of jet lag?), Steve and Laura

 

PS You may be wondering about our ministry finances, both with the global economic situation and our increased travel this year. We need your partnership, so thank you! But we are doing okay. While some partners have lowered or stopped their contributions, we continue to have healthy reserves to cover our current ministry expenses. We've been absorbing some ministry expenses ourselves, we have lowered living expenses because we are sharing a home with Laura's parents when we're not traveling, and as we mentioned, Rice has been a generous partner in funding the cost of education for Sarah, Joey, and Robby. If you want more information, their is a detailed budget on the google group "TEAMspinella" website, and of course, we're always happy to answer any questions you have. We thank you for your partnership with us, and we invite your partnership in the months ahead.

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 40454, TAIWAN
011.886.4.2236.6145, of 4.2236.1901, fx 4.2236.2109, cell 9.2894.0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 713.408.7208 (new cell #, note Houston area code)
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800.343.3144 <www.team.org.tw/ccg>, <http://groups.google.com/group/TEAMspinella/>,
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu>, <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>

 

RAFT 2.0

Let's suppose I fell asleep in a RAFT presentation, or for whatever reason, all I could remember is those 4 letters--anyway, last night we were sitting around talking about debriefing and we came up with our very own anti-raft, retro-raft, or shall we just say we were bereft? R: Retreat. When facing transitions or chaos, split while you still can. There is a reason why people don't run backwards--you can get out of there a lot faster if you face the nearest exit and put one foot in front of another as fast as possible. If you can't run, crawl. A: Avoid problems. Have you ever had take a lesson from the turtle or the ladybug. Pull into your shell and minimize the damage. Processing, goodbyes, reflection--they all involve pain and the letter p is not in raft. That would be rapt or trap or pfat--skip the sudoku and the word puzzles and head straight for the comics. Start with F minus. F: Forget about it. No, this does not stand for Flee. That was R. Forget about it. "Take it like a man." Bury your feelings--it's your first step in containing the damage. Focus on...video games, tv, facebook, exercise, music, whatever it takes to get your mind out of the present. Fantasize. If you still can't forget, spiritualize. The scripture says, "God will provide a way of escape." T: Take your time in the transition. Chaos is the new order. Don't jump out of the frying pan and into the fire. Just walk around the edge of the pan, out the handle, and swing on the little ring at the end if there is one, or tuck your feet in the hole and hang over backward and enjoy the breeze. Who knows, you may have more fun now than ever before--you're actually not supposed to fit in at this moment! Besides, isn't this your greatest expertise? Milk it for all it's worth. I wrote this first on mkplanet.com, where internationals fit and locals wonder what they're missing.

Hello Houston can you read me?

We're in Houston, seeing the "emerging adults" and mostly enjoying Bridgepoint Bible's annual ministry partners conference.

 

Some things to remember, then I'll tell a story or two...

 

First, Joey seems to be in an asthma crisis. It's probably been brought on over time because of mold in the ventilation system, complicated by the hit of an early allergy season in Houston, and of course a virus.

 

Second, Robby has followed up with his own take on the virus, and is running a fever in the midst of the busy midterm season.

 

Third, Sarah's car has developed severe complications of the suspension, air conditioning, and drive system. We need to either keep it running through the semester, replace it, or figure out a new strategy to keep her safe and getting to and from class since she's off-campus this year. Every option has complications :-)

 

Well, ain't it crazy that we show up down here and all of a sudden our semi-independent kids have a set of complications?! All the same, we're glad to see them and glad to see Bridgepoint. The conference theme is telling fishing stories, so we've been telling and hearing a lot of stories.

 

Yesterday the men on staff got together with the ministry partners in town for the conference and when the stories started flowing, the first three involved cancers guys were facing. Needless to say, we hit a slight lull before anyone else spoke up. Still, it was a reminder to me of the gratefulness I enjoy in reaching our fifties after a fairly stressful lifestyle as well as 28+ years of marriage, and finding we're still more on the richer than poorer, health than sickness, and, yes, both of us alive! That's definitely something to celebrate, no matter what the stock market, the grades, or the ministry plans.

 

Our hearts are also full as we deal with all the complications of health, finances, and relationships that swirl around us, in our family, our friends, and our ministry teams.

 

We were telling stories to junior high kids Sunday morning, and Robby was there, so we got him up on the platform with us telling stories and adding comments. What fun. (Unfortunately Joey stayed home sick, and Sarah was at her own fellowship.) We tried to pick stories about them they wouldn't mind too much. (I think the episode with the stretchy animal costumes in the Chinese church Christmas pageant is far enough removed it isn't too traumatic. Ask Robby if you want to hear more--when he gets over the flu.) One of my personal favorites from their junior high years is still the episode when we were explaining the latest visit to ministry partners, and Joey exclaimed, "Dad, this visit is all for you and nothing for us." (He was close to right, but they still ended up having a good time, thanks to the graciousness of Lydia and Nathaniel, who probably also told their parents, "...all for you and nothing for us.")

 

But isn't that like we often complain to our heavenly father when we get a glimpse of what is ahead. Sure, he make work all things together for his glory and his long range purposes, but what about us? Some times I just worry his plans are "all for him and nothing for us." But often he does have some pleasant surprises in there for us, too! And of course, as parents, that's what we want for our kids as well, even if "no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful."

 

So, go parents and go heavenly father, and let's hang on for the ride and look for the pleasant surprises, too. After all, the same book with the line about discipline also says, "eat, drink, and be merry." We've definitely been doing some of that, too.

 

With love from the far side (of Houston, where the population* of central Taiwan is sprawled across some 9000 square kilometers or 3500 square miles of basically flat land!) Houston and central Taiwan are both about 5 million people, I think.

 

Steve and Laura

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 40454, TAIWAN
011.886.4.2236.6145, of 4.2236.1901, fx 4.2236.2109, cell 9.2894.0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 713.408.7208 (new cell #, note Houston area code)
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800.343.3144 <www.team.org.tw/ccg>, <http://groups.google.com/group/TEAMspinella/>,
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu>, <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>

 

It is well with my soul

Ever since we lost our first twins in 1986, "it is well with my soul" usually moves me to tears. Horatio Spafford was a Chicago lawyer and real estate investor who lost, in 1871-73, first a 4 y.o. son (to a contagious disease, scarlet fever,) then his real estate holdings (in the great Chicago fire,) and finally his other four children in a ship accident. (These events took place in the decade after the end of the American civil war. Horatio and his wife went on to have three more children, including a second son who died by age 2, and found a caregiving ministry in Jerusalem. http://www.christianhistorytimeline.com/GLIMPSEF/Glimpses2/glimpses210.shtml)

 

Our three kids have not been swept away, they're just going to college in Houston. We didn't have great real estate holdings--and we're not in debt. True, 2008 was a year for us of dislocation, separation, and financial decline, but 2009 has begun with the same rock at the center of our well-being, and really things aren't too bad at all! (That's a chinese idiom meaning things are still very good.) Our ministry finances are also being impacted, but so far it is a minor impact. We will continue to trust that God will supply what we need and to seek to be good managers of what he has provided. This is our sincere hope for each of you as well in this new year. In Taiwan, they're preparing for the year of the ox. We've got some pictures of the oxen courtesy of the Taipei airport, as well as a "new friend" with whom we had our picture taken as we were leaving Taiwan Wednesday. We'll post them on our picture site on the web.

 

We've already said goodbye again to Sarah, Joey, and Robby (early 1/1) and taken a trip back to Taiwan (1/5-14). Bob and Judy Long, retired from Taiwan, have returned for six months to be available through the Center for Counseling and Growth. Judy is a counselor and Bob is a retired pediatrician. We welcomed them into our house the second night we were back, and before we left they were hosting us for dinner at our own table! We're happy that they can be back in Taiwan and taking care of our apartment, too. Join us in asking that their time will be enjoyable, beneficial, and peaceful. We also welcomed a new partnership in Taipei with a Chinese Christian counselor who will be registering our Taipei location with the government as a psychological therapy center. We believe this will complement our ministry of pastoral care, particularly with members of the local community who would like to receive Christian care. Again, please join us in asking that this association will be useful for ministry and for effective care, and that our path together would be smooth.

 

For Laura and I, the spring holds several trips with some time in between in Colorado. In February, we're headed to Houston for Bridgepoint's annual conference. In March, we're going to do a spring break trip with our kids, then head east to Maryland for Forcey's annual conference. In April, we'll head back to Asia to check in with the team at CCG in Taiwan, then head to Hong Kong and Thailand for two separate TEAM-related consultations.

 

As I write, the "miracle on the Hudson" is all over the news. What an exciting escape for the passengers and crew of this airplane. I'm sure there will be many more exciting events in our world of billions this year. Some will end well, many others not. May we have souls that do well no matter what circumstances we encounter. And may we have the grace to care for one another, whether we are in the same boat or facing very different challenges.

 

With love (and jet lag,) Steve and Laura

 

PS If you would like to contribute to our ministry, to TEAM, or to the Center for Counseling and Growth itself, you will find links and further information on the websites below. The google group includes links to all the other websites. We invite your partnership, and celebrate the team of partners that has brought us this far!

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 40454, TAIWAN
011.886.4.2236.6145, of 4.2236.1901, fx 4.2236.2109, cell 9.2894.0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 713.408.7208 (new cell #, note Houston area code)
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800.343.3144 <www.team.org.tw/ccg>, <http://groups.google.com/group/TEAMspinella/>,
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu>, <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>