Sunday, November 24, 2024

[TEAMspinella] prayer letters, email updates, and social media

Is this a prayer letter? An email update? Is it required? Is it real?

When I was first "raising support," "building a ministry partnership," "friend raising," and so forth, an encouraging acquaintance bought me a Ray Bolton tape and told me I needed to tell a more gripping story. It was a great song, for sure. I haven't written any of those, but I still remember that one 34 years later. Of course, I don't know if it was real, but I loved the topic and the sentiment.

Over the years, I've written many of these letters, which became emails, though I have managed to avoid doing "social" for fundraising. As you may know all too well, I eventually moved away from the following:
1. Telling you about someone I know that you don't. I try to stick to sharing my own thoughts and telling my own story, with occasional, hopefully respectful exceptions for my immediate family.
2. Asking directly for money. Someone told me that is best done directly, person to person, and after hesitating a lot, I became comfortable with inviting people to partner with us in the ministries to which we are committed.
3. Overlooking our actual lives. I learned that some people were looking for at least a little detail as to what was going on personally. I tend to put this at or near the end ;-). And yes, I know that some of you are only looking for that. Thank you for your patience.
4. Failing to write at all. No one forces me to write (all the more now that we're mainly self-funding our ministry.) Still, writing regularly can be reassuring to people far away that we still exist and we are still pursuing the goals that brought us together. (And to dole out a few tidbits each time about our actual lives ;-).

I also read a lot of these letters from others (mainly as emails.) After all, we are friends with, pray for, and are funding partners with many others in global ministries. Laura probably has her own opinions, but here's what I like:
1. I like to hear the "voices" of each person. We are all unique and I believe God uses us in each other's lives in unique ways. I want to get a sense of that.
2. As you might guess, I like to read between the lines. Reading regular updates gives me a sense of what's changing, what's on people's hearts and minds, and how to relate to them as the unique people they are.
3. I want to know what people need. If everything always sounds great, I assume that might be a filter for what gets included--and what gets left out.

And now you either jumped down here, or read patiently this far, but how and what are we doing?

Laura has had her right arm in a sling for almost a month now, after a shoulder surgery to repair a tendon (it turned out to be completely torn) etc. At the same time she got carpal tunnel surgery--not quite two for one, but easier than doing two separate surgeries. She actually injured this shoulder (and the left, which is waiting its turn) when we first went to Taiwan (or maybe earlier) so she has been living with this injury a very long time. The surgeon is very hopeful and when she starts moving it in the next few weeks we'll begin to have some idea how much improvement she might experience.

As you probably know, Laura is a very active person, so this has been a special discipline. My discipline is to care well for her in this journey. I am learning as I go :-). At this point her biggest challenge is getting good sleep.

Since we haven't been traveling much for ministry this year, our ministry activities have mostly been virtual or local (though some people have also come to us.) In addition to looking for one more good conversation, I get some opportunities to teach and to facilitate small groups.

Laura's leadership of the International Women's Connection here in Colorado Springs has been stretched as her primary partner in that has also had a broken arm and then a broken collar bone as well as family concerns. Other women have been stepping up more as their need for help has become so obvious.

Laura's mom is still living with our daughter and family around the corner, now 92. We are responsible for her care, but deeply grateful that Sarah and John have chosen to partner with us in this so deeply and freely.

As Thanksgiving arrives, we are most grateful that we have our adult kids living in Colorado, and that we are enjoying 5 grandkids, three here and two in Arvada (Denver area.) They are ages 0-6. We can't get enough of them. As you either know or might guess, everything they do as well as their very lives bring us indescribable delight. (Their parents are responsible for managing them and do a great job.) 

In the one who keeps us, with love, Steve and Laura

Steve and Laura Spinella
US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920
mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <
lauraspinella@gmail.com
>

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Friday, August 09, 2024

[TEAMspinella] Yes, serve, but first observe

I think it was Jesus who said that the one who would be great must be willing to be a servant, so serving is certainly important. But I was struck this morning that a great servant must first be an observant. If we don't fully grasp the need and the opportunity, our efforts to make a contribution can easily go awry--or even do damage.

Crossing cultures seems to highlight this because our instinctual knowledge, honed through a conscious and unconscious cataloging of stories and experiences, was gained somewhere else, and the differences can be particularly frustrating.

Some of you know that I learned Spanish in Central and South America, and others of you know that Hispanic culture is high context--what makes communication more native-like is the ability to omit [a lot!] while focusing on only the relevant details. That is the introduction to my recent "fail."

I hired a local painter. He prefers Spanish and is from Michoacan, a state in central Mexico west of Mexico city. We were doing well--negotiating details, joking a bit, and doing business. But then I walked outside, a bit tired after a nap, and I thought he said he needed three more pieces of siding from the Home Depot to the east of us. He handed me a receipt from a past purchase, which I didn't look at closely in part due to not wearing close-up glasses, and I jumped into the car, got the siding, and brought it back. He did not seem particularly appreciative, but he was busy working....

And, yes, it turns out the receipt was for the three additional pieces of siding he had already bought. Indirectly, he was asking me to grab some cash and pay him back, and indirectly I was thinking he wanted me to go get them. Once I settled on that meaning, I ignored all the cues that could have corrected my understanding. I only realized the problem when for the first time he asked his 16 y.o. son to explain in English. Yes, one more miserable fail in language and culture negotiation, just when I was feeling marginally competent. I had to both accept responsibility and forgive myself--once again.

This morning our men's group [finally] finished Proverbs. I knew a bunch of old men digging into Proverbs 31, about the wife of noble character, could easily become a recipe for disaster. Then I noticed something, besides the fact that "observe" is a compound word containing "serve." Appreciation of this woman, real or archetype, requires noticing a lot of details about what she does, how she does it, and why it matters. That observing is fundamental to servant leadership of such a woman and almost anyone else.

It's also true that just about everything she does is worth emulating even if you are no woman at all! 

You can probably think of your own stories that link serve and observe--and I would love to hear them. In the meantime, thanks for reading along and doing life as a servant.

In the One who keeps us, Steve and Laura

PS We're doing okay and still learning how to serve. One thing coming up this fall, though, is shoulder surgery for Laura, probably long overdue.

Steve and Laura Spinella
US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920
mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <
lauraspinella@gmail.com
>

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Thursday, April 25, 2024

[TEAMspinella] In season and out of season

I suppose one way of looking at losses is like the passing of the seasons. When I was a young married person, my wife wanted me to write her a poem. If you like Taylor Swift or you've been watching the news, you may have heard of the Tortured Poets Department. In this one way, perhaps I was like Taylor in that I did not find poetry as easy to write when I wasn't a "tortured poet."

Nonetheless, my wife got a poem for her birthday, which is approaching once again. Don't get your hopes up, Honey! Somehow we both lost that 20-something poem along the way, but we still remember the first line: "Where will we be when you are 81 and I am 83?" And I guess after all these years, we still don't know. But the assumption was that it would be the winter season of our lives, which places 65 and 67 solidly in autumn, I think.

So we're still coming alongside people, but the relationships are closer at hand, and our resilience is somewhat lessened. Still, as I once said when we thought I might lose my international job, we could always work at the grocery store. She could be a checker since she's good at numbers and I could be a bagger, since I'm good at packing, and there would be people right there who would need love and care. Fortunately we haven't needed to do that so far!

So when we haven't been dealing with health, we've gotten to hang out with Laura's mom, our grandkids (5 now!), and mainly people here in Colorado Springs. And while we don't work at the stores, we still drop by! Laura and her buddies have kept investing in international women here in the community. I've also taught a couple Sunday School lessons and led a few more small groups, which was ostensibly what I was so busy prepping for back in the days when I wrote that poem.

There's also a lot of people we think about coming alongside, but we don't make it, or if we do, it's a lot less than we can imagine doing. I don't suppose that is particularly unique to us. People as introspective as we are, though, can spend a lot of time thinking about it and judge our actual efforts as somewhat lacking.

Is this what it's like to grow old? Or has life always been like this? And where will we be when she is 81 and I am 83? Meanwhile Laura's mom will be 92 within a month! Happy Birthday, Martha.

So I got a cold, but Laura got Covid. I had a sore ankle joint, but Laura is seeing an orthopedist about her shoulder. I need a tooth cleaning, but Laura just got a root canal. Does this mean I'm winning? I think I'll take a nap.

The seasons of life are passing and we're walking with a little less vigor, but we're still alive, just kicking a little less energetically. And as you can see, writing less frequent email updates and perhaps saying less as well.

One last story: When Joey and Laura had baby Corrie, who's doing well as are they, we headed up to their house and I skipped out on teaching a Sunday School lesson. Our coordinator said, "Fine, but will you teach an Easter lesson on Palm Sunday the next week?"

What do you say about Easter to people who've mostly been going to church and Sunday School for more than fifty years? As some of you know, I find it very difficult to say the same thing twice, much less….

I told them that no one saw the resurrection of Jesus coming—not then and not now, but we've become so used to it that we almost feel like it was obvious. On the contrary, I think it surprised pretty much everyone, believer or skeptic then, and it probably still should now. If you're really interested, I could send you my teaching slides. But hopefully at least no one will ask me to teach about Easter again, because then what would I say?!

Thanks for listening and see you later! Steve and Laura


Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920
mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <
lauraspinella@gmail.com
>

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Wednesday, January 10, 2024

[TEAMspinella] Unexpected endings

When we left for Taiwan in 1996, we weren't sure how long we would last—neither were the people inviting us to come. We made an initial commitment of only two years, but within a year, the board of the Center for Counseling and Growth wanted to know if we would stay longer. We came back to the US for a short time to make our decision away from the daily pressures of adjusting to a new place, new culture, and new roles while we made the decision. As you can guess, we decided to stay longer.

After 10 years, a leading member of the community involved in training new arrivals commented that he was surprised we were still there. He didn't think we would stay…but we did!

So when we did leave, after 15 years, it was a big transition for us and for others. We had hoped to stay more involved even longer.

Lots of things conspire to bring about unexpected endings—including COVID, government pressure, finances, family circumstances, and relationships between coworkers. (Can you guess which ones are most likely causes for departure? There have been some studies on international ministry worker retention and the results include some surprises.)

Some people involved in Christian ministry like to say that ministry workers should be working themselves out of a job. I would suggest it's more like any other work—if you do the job well, there will likely be more opportunities to keep working, even if your role changes substantially. When we were preparing to leave Taiwan, who was saddest to see us go? Probably it was the people we were working alongside!

But today when I think about unexpected endings, I am most aware of my sister's death January 1. She's younger than me, was diagnosed with cancer later than me, and was full of life and love…until she wasn't. It was an unexpected ending in this world of the most decisive kind. All those factors in transition listed above fade in comparison to this one. The 14 months between discovery of the brain cancer and departure from this world went by way too quickly for those left behind.

There is no lesson to learn that takes away the grief of this loss for those who love Linda. If you want to grieve with those who grieve, don't ask or suggest that some lesson makes it worthwhile.

As we start a New Year, many of us are hoping that good things will develop and continue while difficult things fade and disappear. Yet there also may be some unexpected endings, even of good things.

How do we prepare for unexpected endings? Not too well!

·         Perhaps it will help if we fully embrace the present as a good gift.

·         Perhaps it will help if we keep our expectations low.

·         Perhaps it will help to hold our possessions, our roles, our relationships, and ourselves lightly, with an open hand.


We celebrated Christmas with our kids and grandkids. It was great fun, but sickness also met us there. So now we're not only hoping for great things in the days and months to come, but also health and resilience with which to enjoy them. While we were all still healthy, we visited a local cave. Caves can be scary for little ones, but they had flashlights, parents, and grandparents to get them safely through, making it both fun and memorable for us all. Perhaps that can be a metaphor for all of us in 2024—light and love to make it through whatever dark places are headed our way.


Steve and Laura Spinella
US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920
mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <
lauraspinella@gmail.com
>

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