So how long has it been, anyway?

It's official. We're planning a year-long home assignment starting in mid-July. Did you realize we've now been in Taiwan one month short of 12 years? During that time we've only returned to the US once for longer than a summer, in 1998. Part of our thinking was to allow our kids to have stability in their school environment. When we did go back to Colorado in fall 1998, we saw how hard it was for them to shift schools, and we could see it would only get harder in junior high and high school. Another factor was to provide continuity for the ministry of the Center for Counseling and Growth, which I lead here in Taiwan. We'll partially address that second concern, for the ministry, by planning up to three trips back during the year for me to do consultation and supervision. The first concern, our kids, has been flipped--by August we anticipate they will all three be at Rice University in Houston, Texas and we'll be "empty nesters."

 

Over the years, many friends have asked us, "How long will you stay in Taiwan?" For some people, this reflects bewilderment that we would come to Taiwan at all. Especially since we moved from Colorado Springs, a place many Americans visit on their vacations. For some people, staying two years may be an admirable sacrifice, but staying 12 years is just weird! For a second group of people, "How long will you stay?" is a question framed by experience. These people may know that the average "career" in international ministry involves an in-country stay of just three years. We know this statistic is not too far out because foreigners in Taiwan (e.g., people like us) often get asked how long we've been here. At some point, perhaps when we crossed 10 years, people started responding, "Wow, you've been here a long time," or some variant on that. Besides, we ask other internationals the same question, and we know international residence is usually a lot shorter. [Counselor's tip: when meeting new people, try beginning with, "So have you been [here] a long time?" Whatever they respond, you can followup with, "So how are you finding it?" And you can tailor your answer to the same question according to your newly acquired knowledge of how long they think is a long time!]

 

But these days, some people ask that question with something else in mind. You see, it is not uncommon that people who do stay [longer] leave when their youngest kids graduate from high school. Some people know this and they're sizing us up: "Are Spinellas on their way out?" Quick answer: "We have no plans to leave!" Longer answer: We realize the equation has changed. If family cohesion has been a key factor in our staying this long, and it has, then why wouldn't it impact us in the future? Also, when you stay a long time because of external factors, there can be a built up pressure for change. The very international identity that drew me to this assignment also means that this is the absolute longest, by about twice, I (Steve) have stayed anywhere in my whole life. Laura, on the other hand, lived in the same house for 19 years before she married me. (She was 22, moved there when she was 3, in case you're wondering!) So we can tell you that it's about time we took a deep breath, paused, and re-visioned where God is calling us. Maybe it is to continue, refreshed and released, here in Taiwan, perhaps with some adjustments or perhaps in essentially the same role. Again, refer to the quick answer: "We have no plans to leave!" One person here told me, "When you came, I didn't think you'd stay. But I guess I was wrong. You're still here." That was after 10 years or so. He's been here more than 20, so you know he's seen a lot more internationals come and go. So do lift us up as we plan intentionally for a longer home assignment, to include reflection, reconnection, and re-visioning. But if you already know what our next 12 years might hold--please tell us, too! In the meantime, "We have no plans to leave."

 

And while I'm reflecting, let's talk about "vacation." My idea of vacation is a time when I take a break from work. That is not my idea of a home assignment! In fact, when we have taken summer home assignments, they have been more busy, more stressful, and involved more hours of work than when we stay in Taiwan for the summer. That is one reason why our ministry organization recommends longer home assignments. But let's face it, when you live in Taiwan and you're visiting the US, some people are going to call that a vacation. So if you agree, I won't try to correct you. Still, I would like to suggest that Laura and I will continue to have lots of work responsibilities, even during this planned home assignment. So we will take a vacation now and again, both this year and next, and we will also try to slow down our pace around more intense work commitments so that we have some balance in our work. Besides that, we'll try to enjoy the mix. When we have the opportunity to visit partnering individuals, families, and fellowships, we are often going out of our way to be present with others (who are not at work when we see them!) So it is a bit of fun, not just a duty. We get to renew relationships, eat, drink and be merry, and have some serious and meaningful personal conversations. I hope part of our renewal will be to reconnect with our personal and ministry partners in a new way--as a couple with adult (or at least emerging adult) children. It takes a lot of work to arrange all that connecting, but our hope is that it will also be both renewing to us and others and, sure, also involve some fun!

 

I sometimes sign these updates, "From the far side," but maybe this time I should say, "From one side or the other!" or, with our kids soon to all be back in the US, "from both sides now."

 

In him who keeps us, no matter which side we're on, Steve and Laura

 

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 40454, TAIWAN
011.886.4.2236.6145, of 4.2236.1901, fx 4.2236.2109, cell 9.2894.0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 719.360.6485
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60189, 800.343.3144 <http://groups.google.com/group/TEAMspinella/>,
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu>, <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>