It appears looking back that the calendar year has actually advanced since I last wrote an email update! Perhaps that's an indication I'm feeling ever more retired and even less relevant than before. I did recently pass my 69th birthday and my younger sister has informed me that means I'm in my 70th year. Oh my! How did that ever happen?
Multiple choice options:
a) You've had this coming for a while, buddy. Don't act like it's a surprise.
b) Consider yourself lucky. Lots of people wish they had lived that long.
c) I thought you were a lot older than that. Why bother mentioning it?
d) Once people pass 39, I stop counting birthdays anyway.
e) Ha! I'm older than you are, and you ain't seen nothing yet, kiddo.
If you've been reading these updates for a while, you may have noted that I try to reflect on issues common to people in international ministry. I'm hoping this leads to greater understanding, more prayer, deeper relationships, and that sort of thing.
As you might imagine, I have been having more frequent discussions about growing old, both with people in ministry and those beyond. There are lots of practical issues, like reduced income, medicare, and elder care. There are also lots of personal issues, like purpose in life, changing relationships, and forced transitions.
One thing I like to say is that growing old involves a series of losses. While they may come to us in different orders and different domains, elders are commonly dealing not just with losses...but also more losses, more impending losses, and more complicated losses. (Say 5 times real fast: "Lots of little lousy losses.") Of course, there are different strategies for dealing with this:
1) Focus on the positive.
2) Find new alternatives to replace what is lost.
2a) As earthly life decays, find greater fulfillment in spiritual life.
3) Etcetera. There are books, some quite highly recommended.
Ever the pessimist, I still say, "There will be [more] losses." And that's what growing old is all about.
When I think about my own losses, at this point I go immediately to the need to take care of Laura's mom, who is dealing with her own losses, especially cognitive ones. Since we no longer feel comfortable leaving her to function independently, that means providing continual care, which we are doing at her home, together with our daughter and son-in-law and a team of others. 24-7 challenges are unrelenting!
But there are also our physical aches and pains--physical therapy has helped but I am still feeling pain daily in a way that once didn't intrude. Laura's shoulder surgery last October has healed slowly, but she still needs a surgery on the left shoulder and she knows that will mean 6 weeks in a sling and other disruptions all over again. My cancer is not making waves at the moment, for which I'm grateful.
And retirement, whether done slowly as in my case or all at once, as some of you have faced, also means a loss of identity. One that we have carried for some time. Of course, we are also enjoying being grandparents to young children and while that continually changes and they grow quickly, we are delighted that is still stretching in front of us.
What losses are you noticing? Or are you finding such fulfillment that the losses seem of no consequence whatsoever?! Here's to more good days, even if they are different from the ones that have gone before. And don't worry--if, and I assume since, eternity is waiting for us, it will be just as long no matter how few or how many days we spend first.
In fact, maybe the after party will be so great we won't even remember leaving the party behind!
Lots of love, Steve and Laura
PS I'm writing from Mueller State Park, outside Divide, Colorado, where we are hanging out this week, some with our kids, some with friends from church and small group, and some just the two of us. Hiking and biking are still in our repertoire.
Steve and Laura Spinella
US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920
mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
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