[TEAMspinella] Is this ministry or is it retirement?

Can you believe I turn 70 this year? I thought you might have forgotten since I haven't written an email update for over a year ;-).

People have lots of different views about senior years. For some reason these come to my attention. For instance, there is the three phase view--go go, go slow, and no go. I've been trying to go slow, but perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself?

Then there's the trope, "Retirement is never mentioned in the Bible." But also there's Numbers 8:25, "but at the age of fifty, they must retire from their regular service and work no longer." Apparently I'm somewhere in between those two.

When I was a young man, I wrote a long paper on Ecclesiastes (a master's thesis.) Now I seem to be drifting along somewhere between 12:1a and 12:5b.

If retirement is the freedom to choose when and how I work, then I must be retired. If it means I don't work anymore, I must not be there yet. If it means I get age-based social security, well, I've put that off as long as I can, and I certainly have medicare (and because I'm old, I use it!)

It's great to be old and still alive. After all, today is probably better than tomorrow.

Everything so far has been intended to be at least slightly funny. But don't worry, you're not the only one not laughing. Some people didn't even read this far, even the young ones.

NEWS

My best news is not about myself--we have two new grandchildren. Baby W joined Joey & Laura in December. Then baby A joined John and Sarah in April. They are both quite small and still very attached to their mothers, but that means Grandpas and Grandmas get more time with the older kids (but never quite enough in the long term, even if it is sometimes almost too much in the short term!)

If you're wondering about Laura's mom Martha, she is now in a secure residential care facility nearby, and that has been a big change for all of us.

If you're wondering about our health, it's not perfect but we're in between disasters ;-).

And when it comes to go go, we have been to Hawaii, we are going to Ireland and Spain, and we still hope to do some RV excursions in the great Mountain West as well.

Thanks for reading, thanks for caring, and know that we still like to be remembered!

Steve and Laura

PS Ministry care can mean many things. Some of my favorites recently have been teaching Bible lessons in Sunday school, facilitating groups where people share deeply, coaching ministry workers, and loving little kids, especially grandkids. Maybe I'll write another email someday about one of those. For now, I'm just happy to write this to you. What about you? Anything on your heart you want to share with us?

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] After the party

It appears looking back that the calendar year has actually advanced since I last wrote an email update! Perhaps that's an indication I'm feeling ever more retired and even less relevant than before. I did recently pass my 69th birthday and my younger sister has informed me that means I'm in my 70th year. Oh my! How did that ever happen?

Multiple choice options:

a) You've had this coming for a while, buddy. Don't act like it's a surprise.

b) Consider yourself lucky. Lots of people wish they had lived that long.

c) I thought you were a lot older than that. Why bother mentioning it?

d) Once people pass 39, I stop counting birthdays anyway.

e) Ha! I'm older than you are, and you ain't seen nothing yet, kiddo.

If you've been reading these updates for a while, you may have noted that I try to reflect on issues common to people in international ministry. I'm hoping this leads to greater understanding, more prayer, deeper relationships, and that sort of thing.

As you might imagine, I have been having more frequent discussions about growing old, both with people in ministry and those beyond. There are lots of practical issues, like reduced income, medicare, and elder care. There are also lots of personal issues, like purpose in life, changing relationships, and forced transitions.

One thing I like to say is that growing old involves a series of losses. While they may come to us in different orders and different domains, elders are commonly dealing not just with losses...but also more losses, more impending losses, and more complicated losses.  (Say 5 times real fast: "Lots of little lousy losses.") Of course, there are different strategies for dealing with this:

1) Focus on the positive.

2) Find new alternatives to replace what is lost.

2a) As earthly life decays, find greater fulfillment in spiritual life.

3) Etcetera. There are books, some quite highly recommended.

Ever the pessimist, I still say, "There will be [more] losses." And that's what growing old is all about.

When I think about my own losses, at this point I go immediately to the need to take care of Laura's mom, who is dealing with her own losses, especially cognitive ones. Since we no longer feel comfortable leaving her to function independently, that means providing continual care, which we are doing at her home, together with our daughter and son-in-law and a team of others. 24-7 challenges are unrelenting!

But there are also our physical aches and pains--physical therapy has helped but I am still feeling pain daily in a way that once didn't intrude. Laura's shoulder surgery last October has healed slowly, but she still needs a surgery on the left shoulder and she knows that will mean 6 weeks in a sling and other disruptions all over again. My cancer is not making waves at the moment, for which I'm grateful.

And retirement, whether done slowly as in my case or all at once, as some of you have faced, also means a loss of identity. One that we have carried for some time. Of course, we are also enjoying being grandparents to young children and while that continually changes and they grow quickly, we are delighted that is still stretching in front of us.

What losses are you noticing? Or are you finding such fulfillment that the losses seem of no consequence whatsoever?! Here's to more good days, even if they are different from the ones that have gone before. And don't worry--if, and I assume since, eternity is waiting for us, it will be just as long no matter how few or how many days we spend first.

In fact, maybe the after party will be so great we won't even remember leaving the party behind!

Lots of love, Steve and Laura

PS I'm writing from Mueller State Park, outside Divide, Colorado, where we are hanging out this week, some with our kids, some with friends from church and small group, and some just the two of us. Hiking and biking are still in our repertoire.

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] prayer letters, email updates, and social media

Is this a prayer letter? An email update? Is it required? Is it real?

When I was first "raising support," "building a ministry partnership," "friend raising," and so forth, an encouraging acquaintance bought me a Ray Bolton tape and told me I needed to tell a more gripping story. It was a great song, for sure. I haven't written any of those, but I still remember that one 34 years later. Of course, I don't know if it was real, but I loved the topic and the sentiment.

Over the years, I've written many of these letters, which became emails, though I have managed to avoid doing "social" for fundraising. As you may know all too well, I eventually moved away from the following:

1. Telling you about someone I know that you don't. I try to stick to sharing my own thoughts and telling my own story, with occasional, hopefully respectful exceptions for my immediate family.

2. Asking directly for money. Someone told me that is best done directly, person to person, and after hesitating a lot, I became comfortable with inviting people to partner with us in the ministries to which we are committed.

3. Overlooking our actual lives. I learned that some people were looking for at least a little detail as to what was going on personally. I tend to put this at or near the end ;-). And yes, I know that some of you are only looking for that. Thank you for your patience.

4. Failing to write at all. No one forces me to write (all the more now that we're mainly self-funding our ministry.) Still, writing regularly can be reassuring to people far away that we still exist and we are still pursuing the goals that brought us together. (And to dole out a few tidbits each time about our actual lives ;-).

I also read a lot of these letters from others (mainly as emails.) After all, we are friends with, pray for, and are funding partners with many others in global ministries. Laura probably has her own opinions, but here's what I like:

1. I like to hear the "voices" of each person. We are all unique and I believe God uses us in each other's lives in unique ways. I want to get a sense of that.

2. As you might guess, I like to read between the lines. Reading regular updates gives me a sense of what's changing, what's on people's hearts and minds, and how to relate to them as the unique people they are.

3. I want to know what people need. If everything always sounds great, I assume that might be a filter for what gets included--and what gets left out.

And now you either jumped down here, or read patiently this far, but how and what are we doing?

Laura has had her right arm in a sling for almost a month now, after a shoulder surgery to repair a tendon (it turned out to be completely torn) etc. At the same time she got carpal tunnel surgery--not quite two for one, but easier than doing two separate surgeries. She actually injured this shoulder (and the left, which is waiting its turn) when we first went to Taiwan (or maybe earlier) so she has been living with this injury a very long time. The surgeon is very hopeful and when she starts moving it in the next few weeks we'll begin to have some idea how much improvement she might experience.

As you probably know, Laura is a very active person, so this has been a special discipline. My discipline is to care well for her in this journey. I am learning as I go :-). At this point her biggest challenge is getting good sleep.

Since we haven't been traveling much for ministry this year, our ministry activities have mostly been virtual or local (though some people have also come to us.) In addition to looking for one more good conversation, I get some opportunities to teach and to facilitate small groups.

Laura's leadership of the International Women's Connection here in Colorado Springs has been stretched as her primary partner in that has also had a broken arm and then a broken collar bone as well as family concerns. Other women have been stepping up more as their need for help has become so obvious.

Laura's mom is still living with our daughter and family around the corner, now 92. We are responsible for her care, but deeply grateful that Sarah and John have chosen to partner with us in this so deeply and freely.

As Thanksgiving arrives, we are most grateful that we have our adult kids living in Colorado, and that we are enjoying 5 grandkids, three here and two in Arvada (Denver area.) They are ages 0-6. We can't get enough of them. As you either know or might guess, everything they do as well as their very lives bring us indescribable delight. (Their parents are responsible for managing them and do a great job.) 

In the one who keeps us, with love, Steve and Laura

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Yes, serve, but first observe

I think it was Jesus who said that the one who would be great must be willing to be a servant, so serving is certainly important. But I was struck this morning that a great servant must first be an observant. If we don't fully grasp the need and the opportunity, our efforts to make a contribution can easily go awry--or even do damage.

Crossing cultures seems to highlight this because our instinctual knowledge, honed through a conscious and unconscious cataloging of stories and experiences, was gained somewhere else, and the differences can be particularly frustrating.

Some of you know that I learned Spanish in Central and South America, and others of you know that Hispanic culture is high context--what makes communication more native-like is the ability to omit [a lot!] while focusing on only the relevant details. That is the introduction to my recent "fail."

I hired a local painter. He prefers Spanish and is from Michoacan, a state in central Mexico west of Mexico city. We were doing well--negotiating details, joking a bit, and doing business. But then I walked outside, a bit tired after a nap, and I thought he said he needed three more pieces of siding from the Home Depot to the east of us. He handed me a receipt from a past purchase, which I didn't look at closely in part due to not wearing close-up glasses, and I jumped into the car, got the siding, and brought it back. He did not seem particularly appreciative, but he was busy working....

And, yes, it turns out the receipt was for the three additional pieces of siding he had already bought. Indirectly, he was asking me to grab some cash and pay him back, and indirectly I was thinking he wanted me to go get them. Once I settled on that meaning, I ignored all the cues that could have corrected my understanding. I only realized the problem when for the first time he asked his 16 y.o. son to explain in English. Yes, one more miserable fail in language and culture negotiation, just when I was feeling marginally competent. I had to both accept responsibility and forgive myself--once again.

This morning our men's group [finally] finished Proverbs. I knew a bunch of old men digging into Proverbs 31, about the wife of noble character, could easily become a recipe for disaster. Then I noticed something, besides the fact that "observe" is a compound word containing "serve." Appreciation of this woman, real or archetype, requires noticing a lot of details about what she does, how she does it, and why it matters. That observing is fundamental to servant leadership of such a woman and almost anyone else.

It's also true that just about everything she does is worth emulating even if you are no woman at all! 

You can probably think of your own stories that link serve and observe--and I would love to hear them. In the meantime, thanks for reading along and doing life as a servant.

In the One who keeps us, Steve and Laura

PS We're doing okay and still learning how to serve. One thing coming up this fall, though, is shoulder surgery for Laura, probably long overdue.

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] In season and out of season

I suppose one way of looking at losses is like the passing of the seasons. When I was a young married person, my wife wanted me to write her a poem. If you like Taylor Swift or you've been watching the news, you may have heard of the Tortured Poets Department. In this one way, perhaps I was like Taylor in that I did not find poetry as easy to write when I wasn't a "tortured poet."

Nonetheless, my wife got a poem for her birthday, which is approaching once again. Don't get your hopes up, Honey! Somehow we both lost that 20-something poem along the way, but we still remember the first line: "Where will we be when you are 81 and I am 83?" And I guess after all these years, we still don't know. But the assumption was that it would be the winter season of our lives, which places 65 and 67 solidly in autumn, I think.

So we're still coming alongside people, but the relationships are closer at hand, and our resilience is somewhat lessened. Still, as I once said when we thought I might lose my international job, we could always work at the grocery store. She could be a checker since she's good at numbers and I could be a bagger, since I'm good at packing, and there would be people right there who would need love and care. Fortunately we haven't needed to do that so far!

So when we haven't been dealing with health, we've gotten to hang out with Laura's mom, our grandkids (5 now!), and mainly people here in Colorado Springs. And while we don't work at the stores, we still drop by! Laura and her buddies have kept investing in international women here in the community. I've also taught a couple Sunday School lessons and led a few more small groups, which was ostensibly what I was so busy prepping for back in the days when I wrote that poem.

There's also a lot of people we think about coming alongside, but we don't make it, or if we do, it's a lot less than we can imagine doing. I don't suppose that is particularly unique to us. People as introspective as we are, though, can spend a lot of time thinking about it and judge our actual efforts as somewhat lacking.

Is this what it's like to grow old? Or has life always been like this? And where will we be when she is 81 and I am 83? Meanwhile Laura's mom will be 92 within a month! Happy Birthday, Martha.

So I got a cold, but Laura got Covid. I had a sore ankle joint, but Laura is seeing an orthopedist about her shoulder. I need a tooth cleaning, but Laura just got a root canal. Does this mean I'm winning? I think I'll take a nap.

The seasons of life are passing and we're walking with a little less vigor, but we're still alive, just kicking a little less energetically. And as you can see, writing less frequent email updates and perhaps saying less as well.

One last story: When Joey and Laura had baby Corrie, who's doing well as are they, we headed up to their house and I skipped out on teaching a Sunday School lesson. Our coordinator said, "Fine, but will you teach an Easter lesson on Palm Sunday the next week?"

What do you say about Easter to people who've mostly been going to church and Sunday School for more than fifty years? As some of you know, I find it very difficult to say the same thing twice, much less….

I told them that no one saw the resurrection of Jesus coming—not then and not now, but we've become so used to it that we almost feel like it was obvious. On the contrary, I think it surprised pretty much everyone, believer or skeptic then, and it probably still should now. If you're really interested, I could send you my teaching slides. But hopefully at least no one will ask me to teach about Easter again, because then what would I say?!

Thanks for listening and see you later! Steve and Laura

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Unexpected endings

When we left for Taiwan in 1996, we weren't sure how long we would last—neither were the people inviting us to come. We made an initial commitment of only two years, but within a year, the board of the Center for Counseling and Growth wanted to know if we would stay longer. We came back to the US for a short time to make our decision away from the daily pressures of adjusting to a new place, new culture, and new roles while we made the decision. As you can guess, we decided to stay longer.

After 10 years, a leading member of the community involved in training new arrivals commented that he was surprised we were still there. He didn't think we would stay…but we did!

So when we did leave, after 15 years, it was a big transition for us and for others. We had hoped to stay more involved even longer.

Lots of things conspire to bring about unexpected endings—including COVID, government pressure, finances, family circumstances, and relationships between coworkers. (Can you guess which ones are most likely causes for departure? There have been some studies on international ministry worker retention and the results include some surprises.)

Some people involved in Christian ministry like to say that ministry workers should be working themselves out of a job. I would suggest it's more like any other work—if you do the job well, there will likely be more opportunities to keep working, even if your role changes substantially. When we were preparing to leave Taiwan, who was saddest to see us go? Probably it was the people we were working alongside!

But today when I think about unexpected endings, I am most aware of my sister's death January 1. She's younger than me, was diagnosed with cancer later than me, and was full of life and love…until she wasn't. It was an unexpected ending in this world of the most decisive kind. All those factors in transition listed above fade in comparison to this one. The 14 months between discovery of the brain cancer and departure from this world went by way too quickly for those left behind.

There is no lesson to learn that takes away the grief of this loss for those who love Linda. If you want to grieve with those who grieve, don't ask or suggest that some lesson makes it worthwhile.

As we start a New Year, many of us are hoping that good things will develop and continue while difficult things fade and disappear. Yet there also may be some unexpected endings, even of good things.

How do we prepare for unexpected endings? Not too well!

·         Perhaps it will help if we fully embrace the present as a good gift.

·         Perhaps it will help if we keep our expectations low.

·         Perhaps it will help to hold our possessions, our roles, our relationships, and ourselves lightly, with an open hand.

We celebrated Christmas with our kids and grandkids. It was great fun, but sickness also met us there. So now we're not only hoping for great things in the days and months to come, but also health and resilience with which to enjoy them. While we were all still healthy, we visited a local cave. Caves can be scary for little ones, but they had flashlights, parents, and grandparents to get them safely through, making it both fun and memorable for us all. Perhaps that can be a metaphor for all of us in 2024—light and love to make it through whatever dark places are headed our way.

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Letter halfway between Thanksgiving and Christmas

So what's it been like this year for Laura and Steve?! (Link to pictures at the bottom :-)

Just as our blissful and seemingly busy years before children gave way to the longing for children we didn't yet have, so the years (or were they days?) of empty nesting have given way to the satisfaction of engaging grandchildren as often as possible. In our case, that's pretty often, and for that we are most grateful.

We were home for Thanksgiving and will be home for Christmas. In fact, I expect to spend the entire year without leaving the US. That may seem normal to you, but it has not been common for me, so I am learning new ways.

While people talk about God loving us like a good parent, they could continue by highlighting the unconditional love I see on the part of so many grandparents, sometimes with a satisfied glow and sometimes with a heartfelt longing. This has been a year to understand that more personally. (We do love our adult kids too, but they're so busy ;-)

On the other hand, we're also growing old, and we notice more aches, pains, and losses. Keep this in mind when you hear us or one of our peers bemoaning the decline in the world as we know it. After all, we are perceiving the world from our own decline, whether that means exhaustion or perhaps, as I have noted earlier this year, irrelevance.

And yes, we are grateful for what relevance and energy we still have. If it weren't for our excellent imaginations and (sometimes fading) memories, we might be totally content! Contentment is a good gift and we are thankful for what measure of it we enjoy.

The suffering this year has seemed nearer at hand. To pick out a few--my sister's brain cancer, desperate migrants hoping for rest from their suffering, horrible wars offering little hope of resolution, and broken systems that may never be fixed.

Yet here we are, passing through another year and marking the approach of winter by renewing our hopes, anchoring our faith, savoring what we can savor, and grieving what we must suffer. May you find a peace that is otherworldly in the midst of whatever you are facing and companions to walk alongside with grace and forbearance. 

And thank you for connecting with us. Along the way I grow more aware I will never find the perfect friends and family, but I can take another step to enjoy the people that are alongside me. You wouldn't be reading this if you weren't one of this company we so enjoy. We are grateful for you. 

I heard a prayer once that began by orienting the supplicant first vertically--on earth, subject and reliant to a greater power, and hoping for good outcomes in a world that seems out of control. You may have heard the same prayer. It continues by focusing on the immediate--having what we need for today and getting along with those around us. Then there are our two problems with evil--the stuff we do that's not in our own best interest and the evil that comes at us from seemingly every side. The prayer ends more quickly than we might expect, but right back where it started--the world is not about us, even though that's the way we experience it.

Peace and great joy be yours! That is our wish for you. With love, Steve and Laura

Pictures: https://photos.app.goo.gl/f1rkiB6v1RdGHtnB8 Pictures of our year 2023

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Life in the twilight zone

Did you miss me? It's been three months since I last wrote an email update--a cheeky piece about my irrelevance. The most reassuring response was from my daughter, who said I was still relevant to her. Yeah! (She's relevant to me, too ;-)

I thought it might be good to write a more traditional email, where I update you in more detail about what my (irrelevant?!) life actually includes these days.

First, as I mentioned in July, my wife is younger and more relevant. She continues to engage with international women here in Colorado Springs through an informal organization they call "International Women's Connection." They have various reasons for getting together, including larger monthly meetings with a theme at a friendly local church as well as walks, teas, hikes, Bible and book meetups, and so forth. Her primary coworker recently broke her elbow biking--right before Laura passed the same spot on a separate bike ride. From my perspective, there's a lot of love and meaningful relationship happening among a unique community of people with international connections and backgrounds.

She also does a lot to care for our local grandchildren, looks for every opportunity to see our more distant grandson (still only 100 minutes away,) and is always looking out for her mom, who lives around the corner in the same house with our local grandchildren.

My regularly scheduled ministry opportunities include a small group that has met for more than 12 years and a men's group that has met for some 18 years (I've only been around it for about 12.) Among other things, eating is involved.... Both of these are sourced in and connected to our local church, which we first attended in fall 1991 and have been associated with ever since. I am also on a teaching team for a Sunday morning group called Living Stones that I first visited in 1998 and is now part of the Seniors ministry at the same church. Of course, eating is involved there as well. I just facilitated a session on John 18 and am scheduled to facilitate again next week. (If you're really interested, I could send you the powerpoint notes.) Every time I do this I discover new things I've never noticed before, but I don't really enjoy the pressure of preparation.

Then there are the informal and/or irregular opportunities which may or may not include ministry. Somehow related to this have been various trips over the past months, mainly in Colorado, and often involving hiking, biking, and/or camping. My physical fitness took a big dip with the prostate cancer surgery and is somewhat recovered although not quite what it once was. I have been losing some weight. Laura exercises regularly and is in good shape, but worried about her shoulders and her sleep.

On a more mundane level there have been various home maintenance projects, financial affairs to manage, and rhythms of daily life. We are grateful when these many things are ordinary and not in crisis. Somehow when we got married we failed to check whether one of us enjoyed cooking, yet every day since we have generally wanted to eat. Sharing this load with each other makes it more bearable, and I am still growing in helping to carry this load.

So there you have it. It turns out that eating is still a big part of life in the twilight zone. Thanks for listening to a bit of our story. We welcome your visits, your care, and the chance to hear your stories as well.

Steve

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Mr Irrelevant

You may remember I'm "around retirement age." Perhaps you are younger. In that case, you may not yet know that almost everybody who reaches such a lofty status once found it impossible to imagine being such a one. Mature. Senior. Vintage Classic. Keenager. Feisty after Fifty. Grumpy Groovy. As a senior who can use Google, I found among other lists... One Thousand Names for Senior Adults

So as I stumble along, with gradually more frequent unplanned naps, I find that others are noticing too. Someone who hit me from behind accused me of backing into him and told me, "You're old. You should know better." I offered to help a younger neighbor and he said, "No worries. I found someone." I suggested fixing something and another younger neighbor (with kids approaching college!) let me know I could rest easy and he would get to it soon! And there were other gentle suggestions, seemingly at every turn, that life was moving on without me. They haven't stopped coming.

So I went to my men's group and shared that I was feeling irrelevant. They laughed. That's what happens to people like me. After all, the church just started another, more relevant men's group an hour earlier on the same morning!

Seriously I do still have some meaning in my life and I even do some ministry, but dealing with less relevance is an inevitable part of any ministry journey, including an international one. For some it comes sooner than others or more frequently, but it feels different to notice it for myself than it does to be alongside someone else.

With more freedom comes less relevance. I like the freedom, but I wonder, like so many times before and so many people before me, do I even matter? Is it okay if I don't?

Perhaps true contentment does not require relevance, but then perhaps I'm not truly content?

In any case, I want to enjoy life as a good gift and find meaning in the simple things rather than always striving to be something more. And I want to still be available just as I am. After all, I have more free time since I'm not doing all those things for which I've been found irrelevant. I just need to be careful when I pull out of my driveway....

In the one who keeps us, Steve

PS Laura's okay. She's younger and more relevant :-)

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Wow! It's been a while

We took Laura's mom Martha to her church Sunday and a long time friend asked when I was going to write an email update?! Apparently it's going on six months since I last wrote. That's almost like a sabbatical, to put it graciously.

We have enjoyed some opportunities for ministry, some local, some not so much. Some planned, some serendipitous, some anything but serendipitous given the circumstances. And, as it's been for a long time, telling other people's stories just isn't in the cards :-). (Of course, if you're reading this and want me to tell your story, just let me know. If I agree, others will probably enjoy it too. We all like stories, even when they're not about ourselves.)

Speaking of stories, here's one I can tell. This morning in my men's group I was reminded for some reason of when I was confronted for my arrogance and unteachability in Taiwan, and briefly told the story (as I remember it, of course.) As you might imagine, the men thoroughly enjoyed it. In fact, one prayed thanking God for me, just as I am. Another said he loved it because it reminded him of his own arrogance and unteachability. We could all agree that I've been difficult to manage for a long time. (Ostensibly, we were discussing Acts 17, and not just ostensibly, we actually do read, reflect on, and engage the word, just as we are. Maybe you can even figure out the connection?!) I've been involved with this group since the first year after we returned from Taiwan, 2011, and been its primary facilitator for most of that time, but this morning I asked Herb, and he said this group has been meeting for 18 years! Amazing. Each week we try to ask three questions: How are you? What do you notice (from a chunk of Bible)? What are you taking away? (Or what is your last word? Sometimes some of us have a last word for others more than a take away for ourselves!)

And if you get me started, I definitely have some grandchildren stories. By tomorrow, we'll have two grandsons over 2, along with a 4.5 year old granddaughter, and a newly arrived two week old! Sarah and John just had baby Elijah. We've spent a lot of time with them in these first two weeks, especially with Elijah's older siblings. I have probably read Oh, the places you'll go by Dr. Seuss to almost 2 y.o. Isaiah northward of 20 times, sometimes more than once in a sitting.

Thanks for loving us and being interested in our lives and/or ministry. Whether you are nearby or far away, you matter very much. And (collectively) you are in so many interesting places!

Steve and Laura

PS There is another story the men won't let me forget, but I don't look any better in that one either....

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Savoring Christmas

A few weeks ago my son Joey mentioned this would be the first Christmas he didn't see us. Given our history of global gallivanting, I think that's pretty good! And we are all expecting to be together the first week in January—in Wichita, Kansas, where I also hope to see all three of my sisters. We will gather for a niece's wedding and some family time. January in Wichita—sounds like a postcard, right? I probably won't take a lot of pictures of the scenery.

Laura's sister Barb along with husband Matt and newly wed daughter Allison and Alex dropped in on Laura's mom Martha, just in time for −10F (−17C), and now that they've left, Laura's sister Nancy and husband Al have arrived. Meanwhile our daughter Sarah and John (Forcey) shifted into our house with Evangeline (4) and Isaiah (1.5,) so even without Joey & Laura's son Cedar (1.8) we've had plenty of chaos, but lots of time to enjoy family.

When I was growing up, Christmas was one of the few reliably family-centered times of the year. Sometimes that was just us, but quite a few times it included extended family, and sometimes it included people mutually embraced as family because of circumstances. While remembering Jesus's birth was always a feature of the holiday, particularly in our time as a family, for me the setting aside of work and ministry was what stood out. So for me, it is not a worship service or an amazing adventure, but rather the time with people I love that makes Christmas most special.

By the same token, this has meant there were Christmases for me when grief was a big feature as well. And while no two griefs are alike, I know others also carry big griefs which surface at Christmas. My prayers are with you again this year.

For Laura, savoring Christmas also means enjoying family, but as the more introverted of us, she also longs for time for contemplation—something that has been in short supply in 2022, as she deploys in many directions, sensitive as she is to the needs of so many in her circles.

In both the inner and the outer world, savoring Christmas requires setting aside other things for the sake of peace amid chaos.

A year ago I knew I had stage 2 prostate cancer, but I had received no treatment. Surgery, recovery, and medical uncertainty were big features of this past year for me. This Christmas I know that my sister Linda, only slightly younger, has brain cancer, with what appears to me even more medical concern and uncertainty. (https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lindasfaithfulgod2022)

There were certainly many loose strands at the birth of Jesus as well. Angels inserted themselves to reframe what might have been a very grim narrative. Did Mary and Joseph find peace in Bethlehem? Did they find peace when the eastern kings visited? When they took Jesus to the temple that first time where Anna and Simeon greeted them? Or when they fled to Egypt? Or years later returned to Nazareth? Even now there is salvation history still swirling and unresolved.

My physical therapist always stressed deep breathing as the most important exercise I could do after the abdominal surgery. I just reminded myself to do it again. I am savoring Christmas!

Merry Christmas to you as well, and our sincere wishes and prayers for the journey yet to come. 2023 is knocking at the door!

In him who keeps us, Steve and Laura

PS Just because...here are some of my favorite photos this year Steve's favorites 2022

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Risk and Reward

An exciting life

Do you like excitement? When I talk about emotions with people, I sometimes list off 6 types of emotion as "Love, Joy, Excitement, Anger, Sadness, and Fear." (Or something like that, my memory is not particularly linear, so you might have heard me use a slightly different six. Something online here.)

Another word for excitement might be stimulation. What one person finds mildly noticeable, another might find stressful. And what one person finds stressful, another might find intolerable. But that's true for any emotion.

Why write about excitement?

Risk and reward are a big part of international ministry. Most people turn down the potential rewards because of the risks involved. Yes, it's exciting, but excitement can quickly become suffering, for ourselves and others. We all must ask, "Is it worth it?"

Emotion rules

If you've ever met or been a gambler, a lover, or a driver, you know that emotion guides reason, not vice versa. What do gamblers, lovers, and drivers have in common? All of these roles require significant risk with hope of reward. So does international ministry.

One veteran worker once told me, "I always begin home assignments thinking, 'I won't go back. I can't win the victory over the traffic.' But halfway through, I start thinking, 'Well, maybe.' And so far, I've always ended up coming back." I loved this story because to me it represents so much more—all the little frustrations and sacrifices which impact us just as much as the big picture which motivates us to pursue great things. It felt good to hear that he also experienced this, including doubts about whether he was doing the right thing. Besides, the traffic in Taiwan really was overwhelming, and I sinned in traffic way more than just once. I thought evil thoughts, I did mean things, and I temporarily forgot or ignored Philippians 4:8-9.

Risk will always be with us

"If something is worth doing, it's worth doing poorly." Like much practical wisdom, this saying is both right and not right. What makes it right is that it is impossible to do things perfectly. Mistakes will be made. Therefore, the person who is paralyzed by risk will never leave their comfort zone. "Loafers say, 'It's dangerous out there! Tigers are prowling the streets!' and then pull the covers back over their heads. [Proverbs 26:13, The Message.]"

At the same time, no one builds a tower without first counting the cost (Luke 14:28.) Although we can't avoid risk, that doesn't mean we should do stupid things. "If something is worth doing, it's worth doing well." That was the earlier proverb, which brought about the contrasting one above. I love a good paradox.

Has our life been exciting?

Lately, a little less so than it once was. For me, that's left me a little restless. For Laura, a little more rest would be even better. She finds more joy (and stress?) in the daily disciplines of life than I do. But we both know that life involves risk and reward, excitement and contentment. Pray for us to each find a balance and to find a good balance together.

 

With love in the one who keeps us, Steve and Laura

 

P.S. Why write about excitement?

From the beginning, these email updates have been about our ministry. But years ago, I noticed….

1)      People who read these updates want to hear from us and about us.

2)      Most of our ministry stories involve other people and we all have the right to tell our own stories, so we can't just repeat the stories of those we're coming alongside.

3)      International ministry is not so easily understood by many, so we hope that over time we are helping bridge that gap by what we share, without breaking confidences. We also hope others in ministry find these updates authentic and relevant.

Did this discussion prompt you to think about risk and reward in international ministry? In our lives? In your own journey?

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] The long taper and other surprises

Laura and I have done some ministry over these last months, but my primary focus has certainly been on recovery from surgery for prostate cancer. We've also taken some vacation and participated in the biennial Paraclete Mission Group gathering.

The long taper

(Actually, that's my idea of a long tapir.)

When we switched ministry orgs back in 2015, part of our goal was to enable a "long taper." We would keep doing ministry, but with less intensity over time rather than a sharp cutoff date. It turns out that's not the only long taper in our lives.

Other tapers

Of course, we now have three grandchildren, but while they are adding to their histories and capabilities all the time, we are still aging. Even Laura is now within a year of medicare, and so it goes! COVID did not come and go as hoped, and let's not even talk about wars or politics.

Fully depreciated--or "at the end of its useful life?"

People in ministry generally aren't well compensated, but we hope to be appreciated. Depreciation is different. When we bought an old high mileage RV last year (1999), I figured that it was already fully depreciated, meaning it's already lost most of its value. But as I've tried to take care of it, I've been reminded that one definition of full depreciation is to be "at the end of its useful life." Is that what retirement means?! I'm discovering that as I do less I'm also more marginalized in my communities and worlds. Like the old RV, it appears that extending my useful life requires increased attention on many fronts, but even after getting that attention I'm still aging.

More surprises

Old RVs and fully depreciated ministry workers can still have a lot of adventures. Perhaps they will be even more fun because they're like an unexpected bonus. Here's to more surprises, knowing they won't all be easy or fun, but every new adventure means life is still in process.

Eternity is getting closer, but not shorter

Perhaps no matter how long I live, life after death will be just as long. If redemption is a gift from a loving God, and I do believe that, perhaps there is no hurry to get there. We can take all the time we need to finish here before we leave!

In the God who keeps us, with love and surprises, Steve and Laura

PS I am biking, hiking, and definitely walking, but also still healing. Deep breathing is always good, and Ecclesiastes 9:9 is still great advice.

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Proof of life

Did "proof of life" get your attention? Actually, I just mean that it's been a while since I've written a ministry update, and last time I mentioned that I had cancer, so it occurred to me I should probably write! (This is an email update list, so if you're getting it and you don't want to, please tell me. Oh, and if you're in a small group with me, you're not actually on the email update list, but I'm copying you anyway.)

We're both still alive, although dealing with my health concerns has taken a good amount of time. The short story is that I went through various diagnostic steps hoping we could appropriately treat the prostate cancer without removing the prostate. Then I had my prostate removed, which is a major operation in its own right, robots notwithstanding, and began the recovery process. While that still continues, I am alive and mostly functional with hope of further improvement.

It has been good to see that God has still brought us opportunities to be alongside others, engaged in meaningful conversations, and seeking to love well just as we are, including in the presence of sickness. I have also been reminded that when I share my weakness others resonate and open up in ways that wouldn't have happened if I kept silent, and for that I am also grateful. After all, my weakness is not any greater for having shared it, and shared burdens are sometimes easier to bear.

This is the week of Martha's 90th birthday, so let me add a note about how she has contributed to our ministry through the years. While it's quite true that she, and Bob with her while he was alive, have contributed financially, as so many parents do for their kids in ministry, she has also loved us in so many other ways. 

For instance, she and Bob moved here to Colorado from Texas to volunteer in the ministry I was involved with at the time, and more than that they came alongside us with our young children--3 in under 3 years. When the kids were one (2) and three, they actually lived in our basement for most of a year (1992.) When my parents were dying across the country (1993,) they not only hosted us but also my mom, and pitched in alongside us to move my mom, with ALS, across the country when my dad died first.

Then they released us to go to Taiwan with their grandchildren (1996,) helped us pack, took us to and from the airport multiple times, and visited us there five times over the 15 years. Every time we returned to the US, including once for six months and once for a year, they put us up in their home, shared their vehicles, and so much more. Along the way Martha also hosted multiple visits from my sisters and their families, whom she treats like her family, as she has done with so many others as well, including many internationals and many in international ministry (and of course especially German speakers!)

So join us in celebrating this special lady, mother of my bride, like a mother to me, grandmother of course, and Gigi to our grandchildren! She loves to get mail (same mailing address as ours) and email as well, so if you want to reach out to her at this time of celebration, please do! (She likes phone calls, too, but I won't post her phone number here. If you email one of us, we'll forward the emails or give you her phone number if you'd like to call.)

With love in the One who keeps us, Steve and Laura

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Six questions

Some of you know I have a hard time giving a straight answer—there are so many ways questions could be taken, so many presuppositions, [and my mind is off to the races!]

So when I got a list of six questions that "everyone wants to know," I thought maybe I should try to give a straight answer.

Our story

Growing up between cultures was a big feature of my early life. Moving from California to Texas was only the beginning (back in the day when that just didn't happen.) I watched my parents move far away from where they started because they cared to make a difference in people's lives and relationships. We ended up in eastern Venezuela. And I saw how overwhelming that journey was for them, for me and my three younger sisters, and for others like us. My heart was moved with compassion to care for people willing to dare such a thing, typically without knowing what it would cost—after all, how could we know?

Who we care for

So we embarked on a journey coming alongside people in international ministry, just as they are, wherever they are, cradle to grave, Cairo to Caripe, Texas to Taichung, not exclusively but inclusively. It's been a rewarding journey. We do this through Paraclete.net, from a Greek word that can be translated "one who comes alongside," and now we're based in Colorado Springs.

Changing amid the changes

Looking back, I have many regrets. Those include judgments I have made that stopped me from loving people unconditionally, risks I have taken that have hurt myself and others, and challenging situations where I didn't make an effective difference. These regrets have sometimes humbled me, sometimes taught me, and sometimes been downright wasted.

Along the way I think my contributions have changed. I have more stories to tell, but fewer answers. I have a longing to move further toward honor and respect rather than settling for tolerance. I am less concerned with systemic change and more concerned with pursuing small differences. I have less life and energy left, but more memories and history. [And I'm more aware that my perspective might not be yours or even that of my closest allies and associates, much less God's.]

Words for those up and coming

1.       It's okay to be you. The question we all face is how to make meaning out of who we are, not how to be somebody else.

2.       If you want to do something, take the time to prepare. If there is a wildland fire, we need wildland firefighters, not random hikers. If there is prostate cancer, we need urologists and oncologists, not youtube. I have keenly felt the gaps between the training and experience I have and the preparation and background I need, but I have also prepared a lot (but not always!) Humility is great. Thinking I can be great without preparing is naïve.

3.       Coming alongside has often meant letting someone else be in charge. It also means watching things happen I may not like and cannot change. I am still getting used to this 😉.

What we need now

Godliness with contentment is great gain. We always need more of that. We also benefit from…

·         Companions in the journey,

·         Mutual participation in each other's lives, and

·         Acceptance and love, especially when we don't deserve it.

Six questions

You might be wondering what the six questions were, especially if you noticed I only gave five answers. Here they are:

1.       Please give a brief introduction of yourself and your ministry. Who, what kind of work, where, etc.  Keep in mind that many people at BridgePoint are new and may know nothing about you.

2.       How did God lead you into ministry? What is your "story"?  How specifically did He lead or set your direction? 

3.       Who are the particular group(s) to whom you minister?

4.       How have you changed in the process of ministering to these people?  How has your ministry changed as you have served?

5.       What counsel would you offer to someone who is considering how they might serve?

6.       What is the greatest need in your ministry? How can BridgePoint better support you?

[Quoted from Dale Ashworth, Bridgepoint]

Thanks for listening, Steve and Laura

PS We have some more news about my cancer, but I'll put that in the "Spinella health" email group. If you don't get something soon, I haven't (successfully) added you to that group, so let me know if you're missing that.

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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