We've been back over two months and some people are asking, "So what's this restoration plan look like?" We're figuring that out as we go along.
It's been good to get back to Taiwan after being away except for short trips for over a year. We've enjoyed reconnecting with friends and co-workers, and the added bonus of having relatives in town. Yes, for the first time since I was 23 I live in the same city as one of my sisters. Carolyn and her family are here, with Brian working as the high school chaplain at Morrison. This is something that our kids actually imagined and pr'ed about while they were still at Morrison and Drevets were in Kansas, so for them it's a bit amazing to see such an unlikely thing actually come to pass. They did have a hand in it, as during a family reunion in June 2006 they "helped" Brian fill out preliminary apps for M and for Black Forest Academy (as in typed in all the responses for him, with his approval.) Hopefully they're now lifting up him as he takes on the challenges of that job. I can't explain what a delight it is to be a "live uncle and aunt" from week to week and to enjoy regular contact with my sister and Brian. It's even better than I imagined it would be!
But after a couple months back without an update, I thought I'd talk about the restoration process. If you remember, last April I was confronted about some concerns, such as arrogance and unteachability by my coworkers in TEAM Taiwan. After that confrontation, they provided me with a year long restoration plan to follow.
I am still the clinical supervisor and director for our Counseling Center staff, associates, and interns. This year we have two interns, several new associates, and a total of 6 part-time counselors in two offices that are 2 hours apart (by high speed rail and taxi.) But my job has shifted, since I'm not counseling myself. In some cases, that has meant saying "no" to people who are close to our hearts. But as one person put it, "Since you're not my counselor, can you be my friend?" Well, it's not quite the same, but, yes, we can be friends in appropriate ways as part of the same community, sharing common interests, and so forth. And we have been able to do more hospitality, both with overnight guests in our now empty bedrooms, and with meals out and meals at home. In Taiwan, where eating out is for many a lifestyle, not an occasion, sharing a meal at home is actually more of an unusual foreign tradition than a commonplace happening. Laura loves to host friends at home, especially when it means I am her kitchen buddy. Laura and I also enjoyed a week as hosts at a retreat center, serving the guests and tracking a typhoon that hovered offshore for days only to wander back over the unfortunate Philippines.
The main reason I'm not counseling is to allow time for restoration. I'm doing more study of the good book. Over the last 6 months I've read through it with a focus on pride, arrogance, and humility. Now I'm beginning a second read with a focus on the holy one's kindness, compassion, and patience. I do this alone and meet with a friend each week to reflect together. I've also taken a personal retreat for a couple days with just the good book and the good master. In addition, each month I'm reading a book from a list prepared just for me by a couple other caregivers. I've posted the list on Amazon's listmania as "restoration plan 2009", so if you're good with the web, take a look for yourself! So far my favorite book from the list, which I'm also reading aloud with Laura, is Leadership and Self-deception. I like the indirect way the book keeps challenging my denial and tendency to defend myself when I make poor choices, which I do all the time! Laura, for instance, likes it when I serve her just because I love her, not because I love her and I want something in return :-). One of my friends thinks that driving down the road in Taiwan and showering unconditional love on everyone (and especially the buses and Mercedes) is a truly radical calling. We decided, tongue in cheek, that such radical behavior should be carefully monitored and only metered out in small doses. I also need to warn some of you brothers not to try this without female supervision. (Some of you sisters may also need the female supervision.)
During the summer, I met for many hours with a counselor along with Laura and a couple of times our whole family (in the few weeks we were actually all together!) I also met individually with a second counselor. We also spent a week in a retreat for international ministry staff focusing on rest and renewal. Since returning to Taiwan, I've been meeting each week with one of my TEAM coworkers to reflect on my journey and be accountable also. These caregivers have all brought their own journeys, their perspective, and their skills alongside me in a deeply invested way and the discussions we have shared continue to inform, nuture, and confront my internal dialogues as I continue my restoration and growth. They all share my background in international ministry and professional caregiving, and in many ways can each reflect on similar experiences in their own lives and ministries. Both alone and together with Laura, I have also had the chance to reflect on my challenges with mentors, friends, family, and coworkers. It is amazing and humbling to realize how many caring people surround us. The "huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith" is not just in the sky, but right here in our world.
Rest and contemplation are precious treasures. I'm just noticing as I write this today that "rest" is right there in "rest-oration." Thank you for your part in allowing me to spend some time in restoration. I know that this time and the resources we are being given are bought with a cost. While focusing on my own challenges, I am also seeking to hear, to remember, and not to minimize the concerns from others that motivated the confrontation in April, as well as do as thorough a moral inventory as I am able. Where it is possible to do so, I also desire to make amends.
This restoration journey is not over, and in some ways should never end, but it is amazing how fast the last six months have gone by. I do not know what I do not know, but I do know and trust someone who does.
With love from whatever side we're on, Steve and Laura
