A brief is a short written account. A debrief, or debriefing, is a meeting where someone gives a report about an important job they have finished. Debriefing can mean more than one thing, but in my world it is particularly used to talk about coming alongside someone returning from an international ministry experience. We have just been doing that, so I thought I'd talk--just a little--about that.
We are all about coming alongside people, and this definitely includes when they are finishing an international ministry experience. Between when I started ministry and now, a personal or family debriefing experience has become a good thing, not just a requirement, not just a work assignment, and not just a one hour meeting. Well, good in the sense that MTI.org, where I worked before heading to Taiwan, now offers these experiences throughout the year and has a waiting list to get in. Good in the sense that people write books about it. Good in the sense that many people want it for themselves or for others. Not good in the sense that everyone does it, everyone loves it, and everyone agrees it's better than ice cream.
Most of us like to be listened to and understood. Most of us want to be honored and respected. Most of us want to be comforted and encouraged.
So at one level, debriefing is just creating a safe place, being available, and listening as well as we possibly can. We can all seek to do that for one another.
But there are certain themes that come up. I currently have a list of five.
Identity, our core self, motivates our decisions, changes through our experiences, and makes us unique. Who are we, especially in the midst of changing worlds?
Story, our journey, is not just what has happened, but how we make sense of all that to ourselves and to others. What is my story, both inside, for myself, and what I share with those around me?
Trauma, the stresses we can't forget, colors our world going forward, sometimes without invitation. What have I suffered and what suffering have I witnessed?
Change, the transitions, switches, and swaps we negotiate, requires attention and energy. We are saying goodbyes, grieving losses, and exiting worlds, only to say hellos, make new investments, and enter new communities. Where are we at in that chaos?
Relationship, the people that shape our communal selves, is renegotiated. Some get stronger, some get weaker, some disappear, and some emerge. Who are we releasing and who are we clinging to? Who do we love and who do we tolerate--sometimes the same people.
Coming alongside people through debriefing is an opportunity, but also an art. It is an intimate experience, yet one that belongs more to the bridge between worlds than to either side of the bridge.
Every encounter is unique--some happen in groups or families, some individually. Some are a special time and place set aside, others are a series of times and places. Some happen just in time, others happen when the time, the place, and the people finally come together.
As I reflect on this, I'm grateful to be included, however it happens, and I know the most important things are faith, hope, and love.
In the one who keeps us all, wherever we journey, Steve and Laura
PS Speaking of transitions, our recent favorite is the arrival of Cedar James Spinella, son of Joey and Laura. We hope to stay deeply engaged over the long haul with this one :-). Welcome, Cedar!
Steve and Laura Spinella
US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920
mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <lauraspinella@gmail.com>
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <lauraspinella@gmail.com>
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