You may remember I'm "around retirement age." Perhaps you are younger. In that case, you may not yet know that almost everybody who reaches such a lofty status once found it impossible to imagine being such a one. Mature. Senior. Vintage Classic. Keenager. Feisty after Fifty. Grumpy Groovy. As a senior who can use Google, I found among other lists... One Thousand Names for Senior Adults
So as I stumble along, with gradually more frequent unplanned naps, I find that others are noticing too. Someone who hit me from behind accused me of backing into him and told me, "You're old. You should know better." I offered to help a younger neighbor and he said, "No worries. I found someone." I suggested fixing something and another younger neighbor (with kids approaching college!) let me know I could rest easy and he would get to it soon! And there were other gentle suggestions, seemingly at every turn, that life was moving on without me. They haven't stopped coming.
So I went to my men's group and shared that I was feeling irrelevant. They laughed. That's what happens to people like me. After all, the church just started another, more relevant men's group an hour earlier on the same morning!
Seriously I do still have some meaning in my life and I even do some ministry, but dealing with less relevance is an inevitable part of any ministry journey, including an international one. For some it comes sooner than others or more frequently, but it feels different to notice it for myself than it does to be alongside someone else.
With more freedom comes less relevance. I like the freedom, but I wonder, like so many times before and so many people before me, do I even matter? Is it okay if I don't?
Perhaps true contentment does not require relevance, but then perhaps I'm not truly content?
In any case, I want to enjoy life as a good gift and find meaning in the simple things rather than always striving to be something more. And I want to still be available just as I am. After all, I have more free time since I'm not doing all those things for which I've been found irrelevant. I just need to be careful when I pull out of my driveway....
In the one who keeps us, Steve
PS Laura's okay. She's younger and more relevant :-)
Steve and Laura Spinella
US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920
mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
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