One of the first adult small groups I led was based on The Trauma of Transparency. That was a layer. I met with a small group of men in Taiwan for more than 10 years. That was definitely a layer. I went through a year long journey of restoration at the direction of ministry coworkers in TEAM Taiwan. Some more layers.
On the one hand, I am hungry to know others and to be known myself in a deep and intimate way. But on the other hand, there are barriers of fear, wounds of betrayal, and internal guilt and shame that hold me back.
Leadership and self-deception challenges me to recognize that when I am rejecting, judging, blaming, or competing with others, I am often first deceiving myself about who I am and then hedging that lie with attacks about those around me.
The authors of True-Faced, now revised and reissued as The Cure, speak of a choice: Am I trying to please the Father? or Am I asking for grace and mercy? The first of these leads to what they call the room of good intentions, and in that room we show each other what we think is pleasing about ourselves. It is only through the second choice that we enter the room of grace, where we are free to expose our weaknesses, flaws, and even crimes of every sort.
I want to invite you and everyone I meet to join me in this second room. The way I can do that is to trust each and all of you with my struggles, failures, and griefs. I don't do this best by spilling all my junk on you, but by appropriately sharing my real journey and listening respectfully to whatever you are ready to share, not as your judge or even teacher, but as your ally and fellow pilgrim.
Last night I got to do this with a group of grad students in Denver who want to know how to integrate their counseling studies with global needs. In just over a week, we'll be seeking to do this with workers and citizens in Hong Kong and the Chinese world. Thank you for sharing this journey with us.
Looking back from here, I can say that I cherish the journey and the layers. Looking forward, I wonder just how much greater joy and meaningful connections might be yet to come. Of course, looking at what this journey has cost so far, in so many ways, I can only wonder what costs of various kinds might yet need to be paid. I hope I shall be ready to pay them when the time comes!
With love like an ogre, in the one who loves ogres best, Steve and Laura
-- Steve and Laura Spinella
street: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920
mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800 343-3144
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800 343-3144
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>
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