TEAMspinella: 2010

Thursday, December 30, 2010

[TEAMspinella] Financial update and the everyone one hundred TEAM email blitz

The end of the year is upon us, and I'm getting emails and letters from ministries reminding me to give. It makes me wonder if I should be writing a similar email. What do you think?

You probably know our ministry is supported financially by ministry partners. Our ministry includes partners who are family, friends, coworkers, and four sending fellowships. We enjoy these partnerships not just because of the ministry we get done together, but because we love the relationships with all of you. Thank you one and all!

We've just completed another year of ministry. We especially thank those of you who have partnered with us in our ministry! Ministry has been our primary focus since at least 1990. In these 20 years we have almost entirely forgone for-profit contracts and work in order to focus on international ministry. This is way cool from our perspective and we are grateful. We have not gone hungry either!

What about 2010? We all know this has been a hard year economically. For us, it's also included a transition--we've just returned to Colorado for a global member care ministry after almost 15 years in Taiwan.

Bottom line: Our ministry accounts dropped about $11,909 in 2010.

We still have some reserves, but over the last year that's been dropping $992 every month. The ministry we left behind in Taiwan, the Center for Counseling and Growth, is also wondering how they will make up the shortfall created in part by our departure, including a financial shortfall I just heard the acting director estimate at about $1000 per month also.

Indirectly we are also supported by our sponsoring non-profit, TEAM. While our ministry partnership contributes administrative monies each month toward infrastructure expenses, TEAM raises and spends more. Last year we were looking at a large deficit in TEAM's current funding for international administration, leadership, and public relations. Someone suggested if each ministry partner involved with TEAM personnel gave an extra $100 we could make up that shortfall. This morphed into the "everyone one hundred" public relations campaign. We designated an extra $4000 from our ministry funds to TEAM's international administration on behalf of the 40 regular ministry partners in our ministry. What do you think, should we do that again?

As you might guess, TEAM's focus is not just on funding, but also on intercession and information. This year the "everyone one hundred" is also being linked to the "one hundred days" in 2011 before Easter. Laura and I will be tracking with this and we invite you to join us if you're interested.

We also want to invite you to partner directly with our ministry. The most direct way to partner with us financially is to give a gift to TEAM with a note asking them to apply it to "the ministry of Steve Spinella." You can do this by phone, online, or by mail, by check, credit card, or various other ways. If you want, you can send a note to us telling us or we can just find out when TEAM processes your contribution. One note: TEAM does not bill anyone and neither do we. If you stop giving or lose your last receipt and reply form, you can restart whenever you want or even call up TEAM and ask for another form, but we want to leave the initiative with you in how, when, and if you decide to give. We invite and welcome your partnership, but we also believe you are the one to best decide what part in ministry everywhere and anywhere you want to take.

We're having a great time with our kids and also Laura's parents. We expect to say goodbye to Joey and Robby Saturday, 1/1, and to Sarah Tuesday, 1/4. We're still praying about living arrangements going forward in the new year, but for now we are once again with Laura's parents, Bob and Martha Ramage. Let me take this chance to also especially thank Bob and Martha and also Sarah, Joey, and Robby for the unique contributions and sacrifices they each make for our continued ministry!

With love from the mountainside, Steve and Laura

PS How to participate in the Everyone One Hundred campaign:

Signing up is easy! Just go online at www.TEAMeveryone.org and fill out the form. Or, if you prefer, send an email with your contact info to helpnow@teamworld.org and ask to sign up. You can ask TEAM anything else you want at that same address!

PPS Well, there's our letter! What did you think of it?

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella

9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 719.355.4809
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800 343-3144
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>

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Thursday, December 23, 2010

[TEAMspinella] Christmas in Colorado, transition underway

I'll make this quick!

We're back in Colorado, catching up and debriefing as a family, and preparing to start a new year in a new ministry role. We left Taiwan after 15 years. My new title is Global Ministry Care Consultant for TEAM, based in Colorado. Laura and I both expect to travel to ministry areas around the world and also receive people from around the world here in Colorado. While our focus will be on TEAM, we hope to care for people beyond TEAM as well.

"How are we?" We're doing pretty well, I think, but we came back to some family challenges as well as the biggest transition we've made for a long time. We're probably still in the shock and/or honeymoon phase of the adjustment. We spent three nights in Breckenridge, CO, right after we got back to have some time just as a family of 5, and easily saw more snow stacked up and falling than we've seen in the last 15 years in Taiwan and Houston combined. (Well, not a very good comparison, but we did see a lot of snow.) Joey and Robby both skied a bit while the other three of us stayed warm.

"How did we leave?" It was difficult to say so many goodbyes, but Laura and I savored the chances to remember and celebrate the good things, the changed lives, and the unique lifestyle we enjoyed in Taiwan. We know we are missed and we are definitely missing people there.

"What do we need?" We continue to depend on our ministry partners for our ministry finances. As from the beginning, this allows us to serve people who are serving others in that same way. We enjoy doing that, but we know we can't do it without our ministry partners. We still need your support in every way. While living costs are somewhat lower in the US than Taiwan (yes, believe it!), there will be increased travel costs and a less compelling story to tell, making funding harder. Somehow the Taiwan rap has not yet been replaced!

We will also need to build community here in Colorado. We have lived here before, but we're realizing this is going to take some work and some time. Keep us in mind over these next months especially.

"How about the kids?" Well, the emerging adults are wonderful to us, but they do have their challenges, too. Sarah has completed her first semester of the Counseling Psych PhD at Texas A&M and she has felt this to be a more challenging transition than her going to Rice four years ago. She is beginning to feel more adjusted and has threatened to buy me Aggie gear for Christmas. Joey is enjoying his Mechanical Engineering major and Agape leadership role at Rice, and looking forward to a summer internship in Austin, TX, with NI. Robby is challenged by his history major at Rice and also involved in Agape.

Merry Christmas! Thanks for caring enough even to read this! The care we have received encourages us to also care for others.

With love from Colorado, Steve and Laura

PS Yes, I'm dropping Sarah, Joey, and Robby from the tag line, though we still love them! And yes, when we said we hope to receive people from around the world here in Colorado, we meant to invite you! Talk to you more in the new year!

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella

9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, Steve 719.355.4809, Laura 832.755.4261
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800 343-3144
spinella@alumni.rice.edu lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

[TEAMspinella] the first must be last

Today is the last day. Tomorrow our plan is to meet a van in the Morrison Academy parking lot, downstairs from my sister's 7th floor flat, at 6:30 Taiwan time, which would be Tuesday 3:30pm Colorado time, and leave behind our alien residence in Taiwan for an (alien) residence in Colorado. So if you're in Taichung and you want to say one last goodbye, come see us tonight sometime around 8:30 to 10:00 at 7a in the Morrison Towers (DaLo), because tomorrow, my friend, will just be too late. We welcome you to come if you'd like.

I say the first must be last because every international (m, tck) person knows in their soul that the last day is coming when they live the first. Well, at least I think that way. From the time I made the (second) major move in my life, from Livermore, California, to Mesquite, Texas, I have had that slowly rising consciousness that life, my friend, is a series of transitions. And we are in one now, oh, how we are in one.

Saying goodbyes, or not saying them, here in Taiwan, it's been a recurring theme for me that the other people who grew up internationally feel the moment more painfully than I might expect. I hear the phrase, "I don't like to say goodbyes." Matt added, "But I know now I must. Otherwise all those unsaid goodbyes just stay inside."

Taiwan has a tradition of saying goodbye with a meal. Well, actually Taiwan has a tradition, more or less, of saying everything with a meal, but that's another story. I find myself somewhat unsure of whether we are significant to those around us--a quality of life, my friend, just a quality of life--or maybe an issue for counseling? Because of this inner wound, or perhaps withdrawal, I have savored every one of these meals, which, by the way, I don't have to initiate! That will soon change :-).

Yesterday had to have been the peak. It was a traveler's triple. I am beginning to think about what's next, and part of that is travelling. In order to connect while travelling I at least sometimes schedule around the meals, because that's when others are most available. So the traveler's triple is to eat three different meals with three different groups of people. I tried to watch my habit of nervous eating! Being in Taiwan, I had the three basic food groups: Western, Asian, and Chinese. In this case, it was actually blueberry pancakes and coffee, Thai food and milk tea, and a Hakka feast with homemade plum wine. Now that is fine eating and something to remember!

But I gag on the goodbyes even now. They are precious, each one including both the said and the unspoken.

The irony is that the Father has been taking us down this path for some time. Dave Pollock either made up or popularized R-A-F-T as a transition mnemonic. Reconciliation, about which I have written much in these updates, Affirmation, of which most us can never get enough anyway, Farewells, to people, places, patterns, and particulars, and Thinking of Things to Come, because no transition journey is complete unless it has a destination. (Remember, this can be read anywhere and everywhere in the world, so I try to use personal words, which are not meant to lie, but to require a person to read them and make sense, rather than a machine--if you don't know what "m" means or who "the father" is for us, just ask--we certainly don't mind talking about it.)

Complicated transitions, of course, have features that make a transition harder, and these come in many kinds. We are thankful this transition is not sudden, and that we can take some things with us. I've never ever taken so much in any of my international transitions! We're taking a ton of stuff--more or less, that would be 900 kg on pallets, and perhaps 200 kg more on the airplane, minus the 100 plus kg we're bringing back for someone else, so, yes, it's a ton of stuff! Don't worry, it's value is much greater in our eyes than in the eyes of any inspector that may open those boxes in route or in customs. And some of it is only valuable to one of us, not both of us! If you've ever moved, I think you know what I mean.

I'm glad we're taking a ton of stuff. This is making a huge difference to my wife, who did not grow up anesthetizing herself to the pain of transitions and watching her stuff get strewn and discarded across three continents. And yes, she has still had her losses, too, as have we all. Let's not compare our griefs, as we'll only end up devaluing somebody's and I can't imagine that helping! Actually, don't tell anyone, but I'm actually beginning to let myself think that I might see some of the objects to which I have become attached in Taiwan after I leave!

For me, one of the complications is that I've never lived one place so long as this, and perhaps I never will again--although the trend has definitely been to stay longer than I'm used to, so who knows? Could we end up staying in Colorado even longer? If we live so long? We don't think of ourselves as old, but there sure are a lot more younger people around than there used to be.

I'm beginning to think about things to come. And that's why it hit me that the first must be last in this particular way: those of us who are entering a new place, a new time, or a new community, must first be last, experiencing things for the last time, whether we know or accept it or not, in order to make room to experience things for the first time. The first must be last.

So whether we see you again (even today or before we go through security at the airport tomorrow,) we wish you a deep and sincere goodbye as alien residents of Taiwan, asking that we be reconciled, at peace with our disappointments and struggles, affirming that these relationships including ours with each one of you, whether here or not, have mattered very much in this place, and anticipating that there will be new life and new possibilities in Colorado, and, in fact, that more people will visit us there from around the world than have showed up in Taichung! And, if we haven't told you yet, you are invited to come!

Like any goodbye, even the longwinded must stop, and if you're still reading, you should probably ask us to put you directly on the list for our email updates if you're not there already!

With love from the far side, Steve and Laura

PS All our contact information is below, and next time the Taiwan lines will be missing! Maybe we'll wait a little longer before we take our emerging adult children out, just to space out the transitions a bit? We'll be seeing them when we arrive in Denver, as we all arrive the same day at the same airport. Then we'll be spending a couple weeks together, the first few days just the five of us, then all of us with Laura's parents for a Colorado Christmas. I predict we will see snow.

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 404, TAIWAN
011 886 4 2236-6145, wk 2236-1901, fx 2236-2109, cell 9 2894-0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 719.355.4809
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800 343-3144
<www.team.org.tw/spinella>, <www.team.org.tw/ccg> <spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>

Saturday, November 20, 2010

[TEAMspinella] How do you say goodbye?

If you look at spinellasells.weebly.com, you might notice that it's quite different than it was a month ago. We are watching our life in Taiwan sift through our fingers, like the sands of a giant hour glass. As the end approaches, it seems like the sands are running faster, though we know that, at least in hour glasses, the sands of time always pass at the same rate. If you're like me, you may be waiting for that last moment, when you tap on the glass to make the last grains fall through. For us in Taiwan, that moment seems to be steadily approaching. Does anyone else feel like grabbing the hour glass and turning it over before the sands all run out?

These days each visit may be a last visit, each goodbye may be the parting memory. We can hang on to a few things, packing boxes on pallets is a little more forgiving than walking out the door with two suitcases and a carry-on. By the same token, we can hope to visit some of our friends again, either here, in Colorado, or who knows where? Maybe we'll visit with old friends in heaven? I'll leave it to the more speculative among us to make that argument.

But we are celebrating a life, of sorts, carried on in a little less than fifteen years, in this context. It is a time to remember and to grieve. There are seashells, bicycles, soccer balls, perler beads, journals, school yearbooks, pictures that will never hang on the same walls or in the same bedrooms even if we keep them, and even my "favorite chair." Note: My sister Carolyn has agreed to purchase my favorite chair so "it doesn't leave the family." Maybe I will yet sit in it in the years ahead in some other place, sipping coffee, reading, or typing away on some sequel of a digital appliance like I am right now. Perhaps she'll deduct the price from my next birthday present.

If you are a cynic, or perhaps a bit philosophical, you may be thinking that these physical articles are but the junk of a certain lifestyle at a certain place and time in a very long and relentless human history, and they won't even be wanted in a time and place not so far removed. I would say, yes, but... These are the tokens of our lives as we live them, and they ground us in the present and associate themselves with all the relationships, joys, struggles, challenges, and even prayers which comprise our human journey. And so it goes, and so do we.

We're leaving in a few short weeks now, less than a month, on 12/15, a date we are called on to recite to others almost daily, so perhaps we will not soon forget it. By the way, we arrived in Taiwan to live here on 2/28/96, a date we also still remember. How we have come to know this place in these intervening years, and perhaps even be changed by it.

So long for now, from a far side that may soon be so much farther, at least for us, Steve and Laura

PS Here's my current favorite Taiwan video link (Thanks, Peter and Luke!) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMkhK5C6AfU

Saturday, October 16, 2010

[TEAMspinella] Spinellasells like never before

That's right, we actually have a website called spinellasells.weebly.com. It's all part of the leaving process. We are going to take "a few of Laura's favorite things" back to the US, but the rest we have to sell or give away. That includes furniture, vehicles, and the general detritus of a life well-lived (relatively) in Taiwan for 14+ years.

Well, some of those years were lived a bit better than others. For instance, we didn't find living room furniture Laura actually liked for about the first 9 or 10 years. The same could be said in one way or another about a lot of things. But bit by bit, over 14 years, we did a lot of settling. We not only have things we either like or have gotten used to, naturally with various exceptions and asterisks*, but we also know what works for us, where to find much of what we need, and lots of friends and resources to ask for help when we get stuck.

In a lot of ways, the physical stuff mirrors the relational stuff. If you've been reading these updates for a while, you know I went through a restoration journey prompted by some relational concerns among some of my coworkers. Some of the things brought up had lingered under the surface for many years. Some of it was stuff I had tolerated, but not addressed, with all the reasons and rationalizations that went along with that. It was good to address those things before leaving. Perhaps there are more yet to address. But also we are listening to many people express to us that we have become close and that we will be missed.

Yesterday one of my coworkers was asking me the debriefing questions, "How are you doing? How are you feeling? What will you miss?" etc. I shared that I knew that when people told me nice things, I needed to sit there and listen respectfully and express appreciation, but that this was still a hard discipline for me, because it forces me to notice my losses, and I have a lot. I was enjoying the chance to reflect and be accepted, when he said, "Well, now that you have said what you will miss when you leave, I could share what I will miss when you leave." I said, "Oh, so tell me, what will you miss when I leave?" ;-) Sometimes I catch on a little late. So then, one more time, I got the chance to listen respectfully and express appreciation... I think you get the picture.

You may have noticed that I said "Laura's favorite things" in the first paragraph. I think that's because after all the moves in my life, it's hard for me to notice and acknowledge my favorite things, because like many others in life, I also have lost many of my favorite things, as well as favorite places and favorite people, due in no small part to my many transitions, but also due to other things, like my sinfulness, my brokenness, and some of that around me as well.

I do need to ask myself, "What are my favorite things, places, and people?" That way I can remember with gratefulness in my heart what the father has given me, and grieve, with tears if they will come, the losses I am experiencing now, even if in the process I remember a lot of earlier losses too.

With love from the far side, Steve and Laura

*For instance, we still have a cobbled-together tv cart in our living room Laura abhors and pieces of wood on the balcony I picked up on the street years ago to make indirect lighting fixtures, while the bare fluorescents still glare overhead after 14 years. It's not on spinellasells.weebly.com, but I will part with these for free with a free jenzhu naicha (bubble tea) to the dear friend who takes them away.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Explore Taiwan

This is a couple of my creative friends showing you the real Taiwan in a new way. Way to go, Peter and Luke!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Shipping strategies from Taiwan to the US

There are various shipping strategies proposed for bringing goods back to the US from Taiwan. We are exploring these in order to make our own decisions and wanted to also get input from others, as well as make our research available to others.

Taiwan post office

The Taiwan PO offers a service called international express shipping. We found rates posted at http://www.post.gov.tw/post/internet/u_english/postal_f_6.jsp

The International EMS ("express mailing service"?) ships packages up to a certain size and a certain weight. The size is roughly 54x54x54 cm or slightly more, but one dimension can be up to 1.52m as long as the other dimensions are lowered correspondingly according to a formula. The weight can be up to 30 kg, but the charge is based on the greater of the weight or the volumetric weight (where the hypothetical weight is computed based on a volume formula. The minimum weight charged for our 54cm cube, for instance, would be about 26 kg, or higher if it actually weighed more than that.)

The cost drops slightly as weight (or volumetric weight) of package increases, but is 308twd per kilo for 10kg, 264twd per kilo for 20kg, and 236twd per kilo for 30kg. A figure to work with then is about 264twd/kg or $3.78/lb.

For $1800, we could ship 477 lbs or about 11 large boxes averaging about 20kg each.

For $1000, we could ship 265 lbs or about 6 boxes close to 50 lbs each.

Baggage and excess baggage

Airlines will generally accept extra checked bags for a fee within their regulations. United Airlines currently charges $200 each for up to 50 lbs or $400 for 50-70 lbs. Linear dimensions are l+w+h=62 inches. (Excess baggage is by the piece, this is the volumetric charge.) This is roughly a 52x52x52cm cube. This is at least $4/lb or 280twd/kg.

For $1800, we could ship 450 lbs or 9 large boxes (in addition to baggage allowances.)

For $1000, we could ship 250 lbs in 5 boxes or bags of 50 lbs each.

Air freight

I got a quote for air freight from http://www.crownans.com/ for shipment to IAH airport in Houston. (I chose this route because the Taiwan airlines fly there. It may not include handling charges in Houston?) While there are limits on volume such as listed for the Taiwan Post Office, air freight is rated by the weight. The rates are 150twd/kg plus about 15twd/kg in fees. This is 165twd/kg or $2.36/lb.

For $1800, we could ship perhaps 720 lbs or 15 boxes.

For $1000, we could ship perhaps 411 lbs or 9 boxes.

Ocean freight

Ocean freight in "less than container loads" lcl's is generally picked up, palletized (stacked on standard sized pallets for loading ease, then wrapped in shrink wrap plastic to protect it and keep it intact in shipping), and shipped to the US in the next container with space available. Once at a US depot, it must be processed through customs and either warehoused for pickup or delivered to the door. The charges after it arrives in the US are often separate from the charges for pickup, palletizing, and shipping.

The minimum sized load, by volume, is typically 3 or 4 cbm: cubic meters. A cubic meter is about 8 50x50x50cm cubes, so 3 cbm is the equivalent of 24 large boxes. The measurement of volume may be larger by a percentage due to the palletizing process. I think typically the boxes would be stacked on a 1000cm x 1200cm pallet, about 6" or 15cm high so that they do not extend past the edge in any direction. How efficiently and how even in height the stack will determine the volumetric percentage, but lets guess it's 25%. Since the charge to deliver from the US depot to the door can be quite pricey, say an additional $400, let's assume it is picked up at the door in Taiwan and delivered to the depot/warehouse in Denver for pick up. I got a quote along these lines from http://www.nacintgp.com/

$1800 for 3 cbm total cost, with a 75% useful yield, would be the equivalent of 18 large boxes. Weight allowances are very substantial. Let's assume 50 lbs/22kg per box for comparison purposes. $2/lb or 144twd/kg.

For $1800, we could ship (more than) 900 lbs or 18 large boxes.

For $1000, we would not be able to ship by ocean freight.

Request for comments

This research was done around September 17, 2010. Your comments are appreciated.

[TEAMspinella] Making the most

Laura says we should make the most of every opportunity. By that she means that you can ask that we might find ways to be good ambassadors to those around us in the days we have left here in Taiwan. This is very good advice, as we are seeking to "leave well," but we also have had to say more than once or twice already, "well, we're leaving." We have a lot of people here to love and to miss in the days ahead.

But in this case, there is another meaning to "making the most." You see, I accidentally sent out a test message that got published on our email update list. Some of you have already responded...so I thought I'd better go ahead and write an update.

When I said, "What happens when people send email to the group?" Sharon said, "I don't know..." Chuck said, "This." Barry said, "...I'd be interested to know..." Jim, who was obviously up in the middle of the night, said, "Everyone in the group gets the email." And that's exactly what happened!

You see, we've had a little problem. When many of you hit reply, we didn't get what you sent. Well, the good news is, as evidenced by the last paragraph, now we do! The bad news is, most of you got an unlabeled enigmatic message I didn't intend to send you. If more of you respond to that than respond to my usual meandering updates, maybe I should start limiting all these updates to 140 characters.

On my "to do" list this week are also 1) research and compare the shipping options for taking things back to the US. As Laura said, "I feel cheated that I brought all this stuff to Taiwan and nobody told me it was going to cost so much to take it back." I'll post the shipping report on my blog and facebook in case you want to look and comment. 2) Write a job description for a new counselor for CCG. Wouldn't it be great if the father replaced me with someone even better? There is definitely a felt need in the community here and also among our board and staff. The catch: Not only do we need a skilled, experienced Christian counselor, but we need someone who will raise funds to do this. I promise you this, there are definitely some opportunities here of which to make the most!

By the way, if you read this email, but you didn't get one with a blank header before, you're not in our "google group" TEAMspinella. That's the best place to sign up so that you keep getting these updates. If you want me to do that for you, let me know. Also if you want off our list, but can't figure out why you still get our updates, let me know that, too, and I'll do the research to get that done--hopefully, correctly!

I'm going to send this right away, hopefully before most of you on the far side wake up. Thanks for remembering us. And yes, we really are moving back to the US this year after spending 14 years in Taiwan. I'll be taking a new role with our organization as a "global member care consultant." And yes, we'll still need to raise funds to do that, too.

With love in him who keeps us, yours from the far side, Steve and Laura

PS Now if it's working correctly, when we send email to the group you should get it. When you send email to the group, we should get it.

[TEAMspinella]

What happens when people send email to the group?

Steve Spinella spinella@alumni.rice.edu Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #26, 2F-1 Taichung 40454 TAIWAN tel: +886.4.2236.1901 www.team.org.tw/ccg Skype ID:SteveSpinella

Thursday, September 02, 2010

[TEAMspinella] Good news, bad news

Short story:

Laura and I are flying over the Pacific on our way back to Taiwan right now. We have a real mix of emotions going on. We have decided this summer, with the help of a lot of input and reflection, to leave Taiwan and accept a new ministry role with TEAM based in the US. My new role will be as a global member care consultant. In this role I will be caring for people involved in TEAM's international ministry, especially at times and in situations of critical significance. But this new role will require us to move back to the US from Taiwan, leaving behind our community and ministries in Taiwan over these last 14 years.

More detail (and repetition!):

As you can guess, right now we're mainly thinking about how hard it's going to be leaving Taiwan, saying goodbye, stepping back from our roles there, and generally giving up life "on the far side."

We are excited about a new ministry challenge as a global member care consultant for TEAM, based in the US. We are grieving that this challenge is leading us to leave Taiwan after 14 years of intense, fruitful, and deeply connected life and ministry there. That's the good news and the bad news.

We're going to need ministry partners as much as ever as we transition to this new ministry platform. Will you help us fund this strategic ministry? Will you intercede for us? Of course, we are wanting to talk to you personally, not just by email, but we wanted to write now. Thank you for your patience as we have worked on this critical decision.

The new ministry is exciting because it addresses a critical need at a critical time. Global ministry is undergoing a rapid transforming change, impacted by many simultaneous shifts. Economically we are in a time of relative global peace, but transforming stress. Globally we are in a shift from a western preeminence to an Asian emergence. Generationally the larger generation of the boomers is being replaced, supplemented, or transformed by the larger generation of the millenials (teens to early 30s). Technologically we are moving from a generation of print and words to one of images and media, delivered just in time and just to some. These influences and many others are converging to create both incredible opportunity and incredible risk.

In the midst of this change, people are being depleted and things of great value are being lost. Our challenge is not to stop the change, but to redeem it. Global member care is not for the rejects and castoffs who can no longer make a difference, it is for all of us, who though we are weak, by God's grace can be ambassadors of mercy and care, loving others even as we have first been loved. Whether we are traveling to where people and teams are working, inviting people and families into our home, or coming alongside through skype, at conferences and retreats, or whatever, our job will be to empower, replenish, encourage, mentor, or whatever is needed so that people in TEAM stay, flourish, and contribute in the ministries around the world to which they are called. As we have opportunities along the way, we will do the same thing for others beyond TEAM, but our major focus will be TEAM.

In the days ahead, our role is first to strengthen that love for one another within TEAM's global task force, then to extend that care to those who are the networks and communities of that team, and finally to champion the transforming application of personal care in Jesus name to those who need it most, no matter how rapid the change or inconvenient the context.

But, as we explored the dynamics of our own contexts, it became increasingly clear to us this summer that this would require us to leave Taiwan. Entering the summer, we were looking for an option that would allow us to continue to be involved in Taiwan part of the time while expanding our focus. As we have done our "due diligence," consulting with strategists, counselors, global ministry leadership coaches, and our churches, this position with TEAM has emerged as the best step for us to take at this time. While we expect to be travelling, and even spending weeks or months at a time internationally, TEAM has asked us to base this ministry initially in the US.

For us, the best US place to return to as a base is Colorado. Not only will this put us near Laura's parents, who have been our allies and support since they moved to Colorado after we did in the early 90's, but it is the base from which we have come and gone during our 14 years in Taiwan. Because of this, it is also an "anchor point" for our emerging adults. As I think you already know, in addition to ministry, Laura and I are committed to being appropriately available to her parents and our emerging adult kids during these strategic years. We believe and pray that this role with TEAM will be a good fit with both our commitments to family and to international ministry. We went to Colorado originally (in the early 90's with mti.org) because it was a key place from which to serve the international ministry world. We believe that continues to be the case. In our new role we hope to leverage those strengths for the benefit of those we serve.

While we want to communicate excitement about the new possibilities ahead, we are definitely feeling the grief already of leaving Taiwan. We are on the airplane right now returning to Taiwan. It will be good to be face to face with those we love there, but also hard to say our goodbyes and leave well after more than 14 years in one place that we have come to love. In addition we leave key and fulfilling roles in the counseling center and the community there, and we wish to do all we can appropriately do to help those who will fill the gaps we leave behind.

With love in our Lord who keeps us, Steve and Laura

PS Know that we want your input as we make this change, whatever it may be. Also please remember us as we work with TEAM Taiwan, the Center for Counseling and Growth, and our larger Taiwan community to make this transition well. We want to leave without delay, but not in a hurry. We hope to do this between now and the end of 2010.

Friday, July 16, 2010

[TEAMspinella] Pondering passion

It finally got hot in Colorado this week. Not as hot and humid as it has been in Taiwan, of course. (A typhoon is passing by to the south of Taiwan, so probably the rains are providing a little relief.) Our schedule this summer has included retreats, counseling, reflection, and lots of meetings and consultations. Rather than being limited in what we can share because of keeping other people's stories private, the bigger limit these days is figuring out what our own story is and how to share it. We have a sense that the Father is in our process, and bringing us new insights, perspective, and peace as we go along.

One of the recurring themes that we are being impressed with is that relying on the Father is not a matter of ceaseless activity, but rather requires renewal through rest, reflection, and intercession. Last month we spent one full week at Sonscape.org. Every day we were reminded to rest, to listen, and to reflect by the setting, the facilitators, the host couple, the fellow servants in ministry, the reading materials, the schedule, and the devotional guides. I can't say this made for an easy week, because it directed our attention to everything we were still carrying inside, what we had left behind, and to what we would return. Still, ultimately it kept directing us back to the one who has been there from the beginning--the Word who is life and light. This is the treasure we cannot lose and the only sufficient grounding for any plans we make or hopes we have.

If you've been following our journey, you know we're pondering next steps this summer, and one of those questions is whether we should transition back to the US as a base for ministry at some point, instead of just our sending country and community. We continue to have a passion for caring for people in international ministry, and we don't expect that to change, but we are reflecting deeply and searching for wisdom and direction regarding where and how to work out that passion for ministry.

Thanks for keeping us in your thoughts and interceding for us. Please know that we are not only talking, researching, reflecting, and strategizing for the future, but also having a great summer in a beautiful and spacious place. The best thing, of course, is that we are together with our emerging and transitioning young adult children at this time, and able to discuss and pray together about the challenges each and all of us face.

Yours from the far side (well, maybe not, depending on your perspective), Steve and Laura

PS Thanks to all of you who partner with us in ministry, and to those of you who have shared thoughts or perspectives on our journey. We do welcome more of both! It makes a difference.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

[TEAMspinella] Venturing out by Sarah

Here it is, straight from Sarah!....
_______________________________
It seems fitting that I should start my own email update list as I graduate from college. Yes, already, I have graduated. On May 15th, 2010, with a BA in Psychology and Linguistics and a certificate to teach ESL, I graduated from Rice University…in the rain. (It was the first time it had rained on a Rice commencement ceremony in 27 years!)

To me the time seems short, yet full. And each year had its own distinctive flavor. Freshman year everything was new and exciting, I chose what to be involved in and lived in a tight community of friends on 8th floor Brown. Sophomore year I started my first dating relationship and figured out for real what I would major in. Junior year I gained valuable experience living off-campus, and my brothers joined me at Rice. I struggled through the end of the dating relationship, while my other relationships grew deeper. I also began to enjoy and appreciate my classes more. Senior year I decided to apply for grad school, and much of my year was dominated by this process. I experienced pretty serious burnout at Christmastime and gradually reclaimed joy in the spring semester. My major commitments shifted a little, with a lesser focus on Agape activities and more time spent enjoying the close community that emerged amongst my frisbee teammates.

Saying goodbye is hard, and it rarely fails to produce profound sadness in me. Now having left, I have a little sadness but feel that far more is looming on the horizon and will reveal itself when my brothers head back to Rice at the end of the summer, and I head somewhere new.

For now everything is still normal. I am based in Colorado Springs for the summer with my family, living at my grandparents' house, I'm working at Mission Training International for the third summer in a row, and I'm attending the same small group that I have the past two summers. And I'm realizing that Colorado feels like a bit of a home to me, for those in-between times. I love it here, except I miss my friends.

The good news is that I have a place to go next year. The Father helped me through the grad school application process and I am headed to Texas A&M University in mid-August. I will be starting a Counseling Psychology PhD program that is supposed to last 5 years, year-round. Hello [home of the Aggies, no major airport] College Station! I'm happy to say it's only 1.5 hours from Houston, where my brothers will still be at Rice. Thankfully the Father has provided housing for me with two recent Rice grads (one of whom is in the same program) in a very nice condo. Also, He has provided me with a graduate assistantship, which may allow me to break even on grad school, if I live frugally enough.

So another part of my summer is just taking some time to relax before grad school. I'm working a much freer schedule at MTI and hoping to figure out things like health insurance, budgeting, and getting a car. Thankfully Colorado Springs is a great place for the relaxing part! 

It's hard to believe that I am where I am now, not married (and I think that is good), 22 years old, and headed to grad school. I would never have imagined that in high school (except the 22 part).

Thanks for reading, Sarah

PS I probably won't send out updates that often, but who knows? And I'd love to hear back from you! [If you want to be on SARAH's email list, write her at sarspin@gmail.com.]

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 404, TAIWAN
011 886 4 2236-6145, wk 2236-1901, fx 2236-2109, cell 9 2894-0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 719.355.4809
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800 343-3144
<www.team.org.tw/spinella>, <www.team.org.tw/ccg> <spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>

Sunday, May 23, 2010

[TEAMspinella] Crossing a finish line

Recently I crossed a finish line of sorts. In these email updates,
I've talked openly about the restoration journey that began for me
when I was confronted about arrogance and unteachability by coworkers
and leaders in my international ministry organization.

Over the course of a year I followed a plan that involved a number of
self-development strategies. I read the Bible twice, read a list of
Christian self-development books, did personal reflection, and met
with a lot of people. These included family, friends, counselors,
coworkers, supervisors, advisers, and accountability partners. It also
included people that I might have offended or who might know of
offenses. When people came to my attention where I had reason to
believe an offense on my part might remain unaddressed, I sought to
contact them where I felt it was possible to do so without causing
further harm. To supplement this process, I used an online feedback
survey to gather additional feedback from people who could remain
anonymous and also invited responses from people throughout my circles
of connectedness. Where it was possible to do so, I followed up on
those responses. In addition to the initial confrontation, there were
two sets of meetings to assess my progress in this journey. The first
was a midpoint evaluation in December 2009. The second was an end of
year evaluation in April 2010.

Let me quote from the final report I received:
"Everyone unanimously expressed appreciation for Steve's willingness
to engage in the restoration process. There was a strong consensus
that his humble approach to the process allowed healing to occur among
the team as a whole.
"Some members of the team expressed that although the Restoration Plan
had Steve Spinella's name on it, the Restoration Plan was actually a
needed process for the whole team. Specifically, great gains were
made in the area of team communication.
"Without exception, each person interviewed indicated that there has
been noticeable change in Steve's attitude and demeanor since he
returned to Taiwan in September 2009. Field leadership expressed that
Steve has been more approachable, initiated relationship more
frequently, and has been collaborative during TEAM meetings. Other
people indicated that Steve seems less arrogant, more humble, and more
willing to own his mistakes and hear the opinions of others.
"The members of the restoration team unanimously agreed that the goals
of the Restoration Plan have been met in a way that exceeded their
expectations. It was agreed that the Plan can officially be
considered "completed"...."

From my perspective, this was a very encouraging outcome, and one that
only happened because of incredible grace and mercy on the part of the
Father and every one of the people involved in the process. And, yes,
it was an important finish line to reach that required humility,
patience, endurance, and faith as well as mercy and grace. I am very
thankful to receive this report.

At the same time, I have a keener awareness now than previously of
hurts I have caused to others, arrogance and unteachability that has
surfaced in different ways, and self-deception that blinded me or
distracted me from facing my own shortcomings and failures. And I know
that I will continue to offend, to deceive myself as well as others,
and to demonstrate arrogance and unteachability, no matter how far my
restoration journey continues. And these journeys never end, at least
in this life.

What is next? As empty nesters, Laura and I have a new freedom to
consider contexts for ministry that are not anchored by our children's
schooling. As the Center for Counseling and Growth in Taiwan has
matured, we also feel a freedom to consider other ministry contexts in
a way that we previously did not. And while my restoration journey in
Taiwan may open up new possibilities for ministry there, it also is a
very clear reminder that I am not the perfect resource to meet needs
in the communities we serve there, and in fact have never been so.
Whatever good the Father has done through me, Laura, the two of us
together, or our family or ministry teams, has been done by his grace,
and there are many others of his children that he can use to do the
things that are on his heart.

So this summer, having "crossed the finish line" of the restoration
plan, we are actively asking the question: What are the contexts,
ministry structures, and creative partnerships that the Father will
next use to organize our ministry efforts? Ideally, we will 1) surface
possibilities, develop alternatives, and explore scenarios, then 2)
refine options, flesh out strategies, and return to Taiwan September 1
with one or more specific proposals to discuss with the Center for
Counseling and Growth and TEAM Taiwan. Practically, we'll work on
those tasks while continuing to process our restoration journey and
working together with our emerging adult children and Laura's parents
as part of a family team facing family challenges. Plus, hopefully
we'll accept whatever complications, unexpected twists and turns, and
even confrontations, challenges, and rejections!

We ask your help in this. We invite your input, your referrals and
recommendations, and your intercession. We invite your support and
encouragement. We invite your company and conversations as fellow
pilgrims on journeys that at times allow us to walk together, but at
other times require us to walk apart.

With love from the far side, Steve and Laura

PS Unexpectedly, not only will we be based in Colorado Springs this
summer, but all three of our emerging adult children are here with us.
Each of them are working out the elements of a successful summer based
in Colorado. Sarah has her summer the most lined up, with a third year
on staff at MTI.org in the CHIPS programs. Joey is Mr. Projects as he
has various networks and events to pursue, but no formal engineering
internship. Robby is actively looking for work in a challenging
market, having unexpectedly cancelled his ministry trip to East Asia
in order to work on other challenges. This was a hard decision, and he
has communicated more details to those who were committed with him to
this ministry trip. Laura and I are very glad we are here with them,
we are all enjoying the chance to spend a few months in the same
place, and we are all committed to encouraging and supporting each
other in a summer of transition and growth. Shout out to Laura's mom,
Martha! Happy birthday!

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 404, TAIWAN
011 886 4 2236-6145, wk 2236-1901, fx 2236-2109, cell 9 2894-0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 719.355.4809
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800 343-3144
<www.team.org.tw/spinella>, <www.team.org.tw/ccg>
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

[TEAMspinella] Adventures by us

Do you have room for adventure in your life? I know some of you think our life in Taiwan is one big adventure, but, hey, after a while it becomes the new normal, right?

It's hard to believe it, but "our little girl" is graduating from college in just a few weeks. Sarah says, "I'm graduating! My graduation will be May 15th, 2010, 8:30-11:30am at Rice University in the Academic Quad (outside, yes it will be hot). If you are in town you are welcome to come celebrate with me!" If you're coming, she wants you to let her know so that we can plan on you, and also make sure you know where the party is :-). Sarah plans to spend the summer in Colorado, then in August she plans to start a PhD program in counseling psychology at Texas A&M University. She is excited and grateful to have a place there, and also an assistantship and a place to live. I suspect that means that Laura and I will be Aggie parents. Probably there is a special term for that, but I do not yet know it. I also want to point out that unlike adoption, becoming an Aggie parent is not a personal choice ;-) I'm sure those of you who have gone before us can coach us in this little adventure. [Contact Sarah at sarspin@gmail.com.]

Meanwhile, Robby, having duly noted that he spent the whole summer in Colorado last year living with two parents and two grandparents (think about that ratio for a moment,) has a noble ambition. He wants to go to "East Asia" with a group of like-minded college students. Imagine 9 universities in a single geographic area with a combined student population of over 100,000. If you want to know more, help him raise the funds he'll need, or kibbitz in whatever fashion, contact him at Robbspin@gmail.com. (Note the extra "b" in that email address.) If you just want to read his letter introducing his trip, you can also click on this link: http://groups.google.com/group/teamspinella/web/Robby%20East%20Asia%20trip.doc?hl=en

Joey, having written a third verse to his accident song, is recovering from his second achilles tendon surgery. He is cast free now and will be boot free about the time we arrive in Houston May 8. He has searched high and low for possibilities to learn about engineering this summer in Colorado and has not come up with anything paid, but he does have some learning and networking leads. Hopefully we'll also have some great adventures without any more "accidents" for the song. You can see the song here, complete with Rice students saying, "I told you so." Ironic, that is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BXozX1dykk

As for Laura and I, our adventure is being with our kids and her parents instead of in Taiwan this summer. Beyond that we're also going to be reflecting on this past year of restoration, reporting back to our sending communities, and exploring possibilities for our future ministry adventures in Taiwan and beyond. We've even got a week of retreat scheduled as a couple.

Between now and when we're scheduled to leave May 6, we've got some significant meetings including a board meeting for the counseling center tomorrow, meetings to reflect on my restoration journey, and a court appearance related to a complaint. All of these are things about which we covet your thoughts and intercession. They are all part of our adventures, but we hope they have a purpose beyond ourselves!

With love from the far side, Steve and Laura

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

[TEAMspinella] On guard

When I went to sleep Saturday night, I was thinking about what it might have been like to be one of the soldiers posted to guard Joseph's family crypt when he and (maybe Nicodemus?) put the most famous criminal of all time into the tomb. I'm thinking it must have been a boring assignment--how hard could it be to guard a dead person already sealed into a tomb? Of course, they might have had something to think about, what with the sky darkening mid-afternoon and everything. Maybe it was a little freaky, but, hey, they're soldiers. Too bad they weren't there for the execution--maybe could have at least scored some clothes or enjoyed the crowds, but, no, here they were spending the damp night in a garden posted around a tomb.

Oh, well, at least it wasn't dangerous. Maybe even a good time to enjoy some meditative relief from the usually dull, sometimes dangerous life of an occupation force doing mostly a police action among a community known more for its passion and pride than its effective governance and social institutions, at least in the recent past.

Then came the unexpected. Earthquakes have been in the news, and having been in a big one over ten years ago, I can tell you we will never forget it. Here's where the soldiers proved their mettle. They didn't kill themselves and they didn't flee. They did report back to their superiors. I do note that they didn't hang around to guard the empty tomb, which is probably a pretty good sign they checked and it was empty.

Oh, and then there was the issue of the messenger. Whatever he looked like--very white clothes and brilliant light seem to be the major features, these fine soldiers did the unthinkable. They shook with fear and then fainted outright. Ouch!

According to Matthew, the soldiers ended up with a large bribe and a different story to tell. All in all, a good outcome for enlisted men, who are not known for making much money then or now. But apparently they told some people (off the record, of course) something else, or how did Matthew know?

Maybe they even decided that a bribe wasn't worth as much as a great story. How much would I take to change my story if I had information like that--you know, not that I wouldn't ever tell someone off the record, years later, but just to keep it quiet and vouch for a small "white" lie. After all, surely the man in white must have been a disciple. Certainly the soldiers didn't stop to check his credentials. In fact, I would guess someone like that could take the body most anywhere he wanted.

Well, I probably didn't get all the details right. Things like that happen so fast anyway. As far as telling a great story, well, that's certainly tempting, but it probably woildn't pay the bills for an enlisted man, and it might just get one assasinated. Who needs the risk? Sometimes it's safer just to take the money. As far as the messenger goes, well, apparently it was "out of sight, out of mind."

So I woke up Sunday, celebrated Easter, and wrote this email. He is risen indeed.

With love from the far side, Steve and Laura

PS We are heading back to the US in May for Sarah's graduation from Rice University in Houston, TX. Then we plan to spend the summer in Colorado with our kids and Laura's parents before returning to Taiwan at the beginning of September.

Thursday, March 04, 2010

[TEAMspinella] We felt that (earthquake)

Yes, I was sitting there at breakfast in the Early Bird cafe, a diner-like source of american breakfast cuisine and diner-like coffee. (Sometimes the coffee is better than other times, today it wasn't so good.)

Then things started shaking. It wasn't terrible--the central weather bureau says it was only a "3" around here. But when a quake lasts for a long time, we figure it must have been big somewhere. This one was a 6.4 somewhere south of us. I imagine we'll know tomorrow about any damage or deaths down south. In fact, tomorrow night we're expecting some coworkers from down in Pingtung to stay with us, so I'm sure we'll get the full scoop unless they can't even make it. Since then there are some 25 quakes listed on the Taiwan central weather bureau site of local magnitudes 3.4 to 5.7.

You know, our own problems often seem bigger than those farther away, and that's certainly true for us. For instance, the two funerals we attended this last weekend touched us deeply, though we know that there were a lot more people suffering in Chile and Haiti from the major earthquakes there. Grieving with the families and friends of our friends we cried our own tears. Then there was the friend we visited in the hospital with a brand new baby and a major neck surgery. (The whole family is back at home today.) That also touches us closer, even though we don't like to see the earth and everything on it shaking even a little.

Then there's our daughter Sarah's quest for a graduate school placement. She's finished her interviews and is waiting to see if she gets any more offers. She has a couple favorites she's hoping to hear from. We're certainly lifting up those possibilities to the father. She realizes it is grace that she has gotten this far.

But that got trumped in our immediate attention when we heard Joey had suffered a further injury skiing on his recovering achilles tendon repair. (Please direct all your inquiries about that combination of skiing and recovery directly to Joey, whose email I will conveniently NOT insert here.) Seriously Joey, we are all praying for your recovery and your continued growth in all things, one step at a time. Sometime during our night tonight Joey is hoping to see a doctor in Colorado for an evaluation of his injury. We should know more tomorrow and I will mention it on my facebook page.

Even closer to home and less serious, I've got a (flu?) plaguing me and Laura doesn't feel tiptop either. Hopefully, this will be the easiest of these concerns to put behind us although it certainly has a way of grabbing our immediate attention. From what I hear, we're not the first in Taiwan or the US to face this little challenge lately. (Tells you how much the earthquake bothers us when we mention flu virus in the same update, eh?!)

Also tomorrow and Saturday we'll have our annual meeting for TEAM Taiwan and that is something you could also keep in mind for us. As well we're only about 10 days away from our next Consultation on Counseling in the Chinese World. This one is in southern Taiwan, and we are hoping that we can have some significant conversations and times of learning and reflection as we gather from around the Chinese world.

If you thought of us when you heard about the quake, thanks, and please know, that while we're following the news of the quake and all the aftershocks, we're unshaken enough that we're still thinking about all these other things in our more immediate world.

With love from the far side, Steve and Laura

Friday, February 19, 2010

[TEAMspinella] Happy new year to all tigers and the rest of us

Chinese New Year is a time for family, like Christmas and Thanksgiving combined. This year it was the 14th, same as valentines. I think valentines pretty much got skipped in Taiwan this year :-). This morning I can hear the firecrackers going as businesses reopen. That and the rain. The one week almost everyone really has vacation and it has been cold and wet! Right now it's raining, 10C/51F, and 94% humidity. Inside it's nicer: 17C/63F, 66% humidity, and not raining. I think I'll stay inside for now.

Speaking of family, it's been a while since you've gotten an email update from Laura. As usual, I'm excerpting from a personal note she wrote, so if you've already seen this, you know who you are! The rest of you--she loves you too! She wrote this on Chinese New Year's eve. Happy New Year!

___________________

The last couple of days I have not been feeling too well, and Steve has gone camping (tent camping--which is something he has never done before in Taiwan, but a friend with equipment invited him to go!) This has turned out to give me some time to catch up on some things…so I'm glad I can finally write to you!

Yes, graduation is coming up for Sarah (May 16)! Since Sarah is graduating with a degree in psychology and linguistics she has decided to pursue grad school…and this whole school year is being swallowed up by that pursuit! In the fall she was researching schools and filling out applications. This semester she is going to interviews …which makes it hard for her to keep focused on her studies. So we are watching and wondering where she will be next year. She has quite a few interview offers, and so far one acceptance: Tx A&M. (Keep her in mind, she's at an interview now and has several more this next week.)

Graduating is a tough transition…I remember that it was a lot of fun to be a student at Rice, and much less fun to work a 40 hour week after I graduated!

Rob is still studying English and a lot of History classes…but doesn't have a career plan. Joey is still studying mech E, and we are delighted that God has provided a summer job at UCCS in the lab of a prof who is designing a space sling. (This just fell through. The prof can't hire him because he's not a UCCS student.) I guess we'll learn more about that later! We are also delighted that he will be in CS for the summer, since we are thinking we will be there for the summer this year.

May the Father be with all of these "emerging adults" and give them hearts that seek him as they transition from one place and school to the next role! May He give them grace to take up increased responsibility by relying on him, and the wisdom to know how to live for him in an increasingly complicated world!

Steve and I are doing well. At the beginning this restoration program was a very painful thing for us, but as time goes on, and as Steve has humbled himself and embraced the process it has been a real blessing from my perspective. This year (since our return in September) has been unusual in so many ways…our first year of having a real empty nest in Taiwan. Also, some of the assignments that I once filled are now filled by others. I'm glad to give most of them up (such as retreat planning), but I miss teaching the English bible study that I taught before I left. I'm open to trying new ministries….so far I've tried leading jr church (I'm on rotation) and helping at VBS, I'm doing some book-keeping for church, and still on the school board, and I meet with lots of women and listen and pray. And I even have time to show hospitality. And to be a little involved with Steve's restoration…discussing his books and reading some parts with him. I feel I could be doing more…but am also thankful for a time to slow down after so many years of feeling always busy to the max. This is the first year I have actually cleaned my house (at least part way) for Chinese new year!

And, thanks again for your financial support.

We send our love! Laura

__________________

PS A Taiwan friend found this blog entry describing Chinese New Year. It tells you more than I know anyway!

http://wandering-taiwan.blogspot.com/2010/02/gong-si-fa-tsai.html

The very first year we celebrated Chinese New Year, some folks who had lived in Taiwan told us mandarin oranges (juzi, now perhaps my favorite fruit, similar to tangarines or clementines but larger) would be an excellent gift. We should however be careful not to give 4 as that was unlucky. Well, with our five year olds in tow we made it over to King Sooper, where a helpful employee pulled some molding oranges out of the back. I found six that looked okay and bought them. (I recall they seemed expensive to us at the time.) Unfortunately at home I found two more with mold, so having forgotten what I heard at Sunday school (shocker, I know,) guess what we brought. Not only a miserly gift but a terrible one. Still it was graciously received as was evident when they showed us the picture years later with the four oranges sitting on the table. Thankfully they were brothers and sisters, so the homonym of the chinese word for "4" with the one for "dead" hopefully held no power. One thing you can count on, though. That would not be my last mistake in Chinese culture!

Also, we've got a new family picture! I'm not including it because of size, but you can see it and download it at http://picasaweb.google.com/TEAMspinella/LatestFamilyPicture#5439758359141149186. There are lots of other pictures there, including of the camping trip Laura mentioned.

Happy new year to all tigers and the rest of us

___________________

Graduating is a tough transition…I remember that it was a lot of fun to be a student at Rice, and much less fun to work a 40 hour week after I graduated!

And, thanks again for your financial support.

We send our love! Laura

__________________

PS A Taiwan friend found this blog entry describing Chinese New Year. It tells you more than I know anyway!

http://wandering-taiwan.blogspot.com/2010/02/gong-si-fa-tsai.html

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

[TEAMspinella] Making amends where it is possible to do so

Do you ever have a situation that you've been involved in play back in your head?

For me, those are often situations where I felt trapped, conflicted, or otherwise stuck, and I did something that didn't work out too well. Actually, I did something or didn't do something that worked out badly. Actually I may not know what went wrong, I certainly don't know what everyone else involved was thinking, but I have a pretty strong suspicion that I did not handle the situation well. In fact, I did wrong.

At this point, I face a choice. What shall I do now? Often my response has been to do nothing. Yes, I feel bad. Yes, I was often frustrated or angry at the time. Many times I can identify external or internal factors that made that situation hard for me. Still, the bottom line is that I replay the situation because I don't feel good about what I did, not because of those external or internal factors.

Sometimes I have even apologized or asked for forgiveness while internally remaining angry or blaming toward others. I doubt that works well for those who have received my apologies, no matter how well worded. I know it doesn't work well for me. Why do I know it doesn't work well? Because I still replay the situations over again, looking for something....

From where I sit now, at least most of the time, that something is repentance. Regret. Remorse. Acknowledgement I blew it. And when I get to that point, then I also have to ask myself what I should do about it now. First I could do something to acknowledge this to my father (see PS) and to another human being. But I also need to ask myself what prevents me from going to those I can and making amends when that is possible without doing further harm.

There are several things that prevent me from doing that. One is pride. It is humbling to go back to people who may already be upset or alienated and reminding them of a moment about which I've already figured out I don't feel good about. A second is desperation. How will I ever finish such a task? Once I start remembering things like this, what else will I remember? (I could go on, but I think you can probably follow my drift.)

Anyway, that is the stage I'm at in my restoration journey these days. I'm actively seeking out at least some of the people who I may have hurt and sharing my regret for those hurts, accepting responsibility for specific offenses on my part when I am able to see those. And by the way, if you're waiting for me to get to you or someone you know, would you tell me about it? I would like to know, though I may find it hard to listen, and not hearing about it won't really help me out much in the long run :-)

While I'm thinking of it, let me run the link to that feedback survey where anyone can give me anonymous feedback of any kind you'd like...

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/CG8SCWM

With love from the far side, Steve and Laura

PS When I am writing something that goes out to many people (and lingers around on the internet for who knows how long,) I try to avoid using specialized vocabulary that goes with my heart in an effort to avoid automated search engines and so forth. I'm not trying to hide my convictions. Anybody who actually reads what I write will get those quick enough. If you will, think of it as akin to those inane letters or numbers you have to type when you put a comment up on the web. I know that my little workarounds may not be of any great value, but I'm still doing it. Especially if my alternate language about matters of the heart happens to rub you the wrong way, please forgive me. And if anything I say has hit you wrong for any reason, I'd be grateful to hear about it.