[TEAMspinella] Savoring Christmas

A few weeks ago my son Joey mentioned this would be the first Christmas he didn't see us. Given our history of global gallivanting, I think that's pretty good! And we are all expecting to be together the first week in January—in Wichita, Kansas, where I also hope to see all three of my sisters. We will gather for a niece's wedding and some family time. January in Wichita—sounds like a postcard, right? I probably won't take a lot of pictures of the scenery.

Laura's sister Barb along with husband Matt and newly wed daughter Allison and Alex dropped in on Laura's mom Martha, just in time for −10F (−17C), and now that they've left, Laura's sister Nancy and husband Al have arrived. Meanwhile our daughter Sarah and John (Forcey) shifted into our house with Evangeline (4) and Isaiah (1.5,) so even without Joey & Laura's son Cedar (1.8) we've had plenty of chaos, but lots of time to enjoy family.

When I was growing up, Christmas was one of the few reliably family-centered times of the year. Sometimes that was just us, but quite a few times it included extended family, and sometimes it included people mutually embraced as family because of circumstances. While remembering Jesus's birth was always a feature of the holiday, particularly in our time as a family, for me the setting aside of work and ministry was what stood out. So for me, it is not a worship service or an amazing adventure, but rather the time with people I love that makes Christmas most special.

By the same token, this has meant there were Christmases for me when grief was a big feature as well. And while no two griefs are alike, I know others also carry big griefs which surface at Christmas. My prayers are with you again this year.

For Laura, savoring Christmas also means enjoying family, but as the more introverted of us, she also longs for time for contemplation—something that has been in short supply in 2022, as she deploys in many directions, sensitive as she is to the needs of so many in her circles.

In both the inner and the outer world, savoring Christmas requires setting aside other things for the sake of peace amid chaos.

A year ago I knew I had stage 2 prostate cancer, but I had received no treatment. Surgery, recovery, and medical uncertainty were big features of this past year for me. This Christmas I know that my sister Linda, only slightly younger, has brain cancer, with what appears to me even more medical concern and uncertainty. (https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lindasfaithfulgod2022)

There were certainly many loose strands at the birth of Jesus as well. Angels inserted themselves to reframe what might have been a very grim narrative. Did Mary and Joseph find peace in Bethlehem? Did they find peace when the eastern kings visited? When they took Jesus to the temple that first time where Anna and Simeon greeted them? Or when they fled to Egypt? Or years later returned to Nazareth? Even now there is salvation history still swirling and unresolved.

My physical therapist always stressed deep breathing as the most important exercise I could do after the abdominal surgery. I just reminded myself to do it again. I am savoring Christmas!

Merry Christmas to you as well, and our sincere wishes and prayers for the journey yet to come. 2023 is knocking at the door!

In him who keeps us, Steve and Laura

PS Just because...here are some of my favorite photos this year Steve's favorites 2022

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Risk and Reward

An exciting life

Do you like excitement? When I talk about emotions with people, I sometimes list off 6 types of emotion as "Love, Joy, Excitement, Anger, Sadness, and Fear." (Or something like that, my memory is not particularly linear, so you might have heard me use a slightly different six. Something online here.)

Another word for excitement might be stimulation. What one person finds mildly noticeable, another might find stressful. And what one person finds stressful, another might find intolerable. But that's true for any emotion.

Why write about excitement?

Risk and reward are a big part of international ministry. Most people turn down the potential rewards because of the risks involved. Yes, it's exciting, but excitement can quickly become suffering, for ourselves and others. We all must ask, "Is it worth it?"

Emotion rules

If you've ever met or been a gambler, a lover, or a driver, you know that emotion guides reason, not vice versa. What do gamblers, lovers, and drivers have in common? All of these roles require significant risk with hope of reward. So does international ministry.

One veteran worker once told me, "I always begin home assignments thinking, 'I won't go back. I can't win the victory over the traffic.' But halfway through, I start thinking, 'Well, maybe.' And so far, I've always ended up coming back." I loved this story because to me it represents so much more—all the little frustrations and sacrifices which impact us just as much as the big picture which motivates us to pursue great things. It felt good to hear that he also experienced this, including doubts about whether he was doing the right thing. Besides, the traffic in Taiwan really was overwhelming, and I sinned in traffic way more than just once. I thought evil thoughts, I did mean things, and I temporarily forgot or ignored Philippians 4:8-9.

Risk will always be with us

"If something is worth doing, it's worth doing poorly." Like much practical wisdom, this saying is both right and not right. What makes it right is that it is impossible to do things perfectly. Mistakes will be made. Therefore, the person who is paralyzed by risk will never leave their comfort zone. "Loafers say, 'It's dangerous out there! Tigers are prowling the streets!' and then pull the covers back over their heads. [Proverbs 26:13, The Message.]"

At the same time, no one builds a tower without first counting the cost (Luke 14:28.) Although we can't avoid risk, that doesn't mean we should do stupid things. "If something is worth doing, it's worth doing well." That was the earlier proverb, which brought about the contrasting one above. I love a good paradox.

Has our life been exciting?

Lately, a little less so than it once was. For me, that's left me a little restless. For Laura, a little more rest would be even better. She finds more joy (and stress?) in the daily disciplines of life than I do. But we both know that life involves risk and reward, excitement and contentment. Pray for us to each find a balance and to find a good balance together.

 

With love in the one who keeps us, Steve and Laura

 

P.S. Why write about excitement?

From the beginning, these email updates have been about our ministry. But years ago, I noticed….

1)      People who read these updates want to hear from us and about us.

2)      Most of our ministry stories involve other people and we all have the right to tell our own stories, so we can't just repeat the stories of those we're coming alongside.

3)      International ministry is not so easily understood by many, so we hope that over time we are helping bridge that gap by what we share, without breaking confidences. We also hope others in ministry find these updates authentic and relevant.

Did this discussion prompt you to think about risk and reward in international ministry? In our lives? In your own journey?

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] The long taper and other surprises

Laura and I have done some ministry over these last months, but my primary focus has certainly been on recovery from surgery for prostate cancer. We've also taken some vacation and participated in the biennial Paraclete Mission Group gathering.

The long taper

(Actually, that's my idea of a long tapir.)

When we switched ministry orgs back in 2015, part of our goal was to enable a "long taper." We would keep doing ministry, but with less intensity over time rather than a sharp cutoff date. It turns out that's not the only long taper in our lives.

Other tapers

Of course, we now have three grandchildren, but while they are adding to their histories and capabilities all the time, we are still aging. Even Laura is now within a year of medicare, and so it goes! COVID did not come and go as hoped, and let's not even talk about wars or politics.

Fully depreciated--or "at the end of its useful life?"

People in ministry generally aren't well compensated, but we hope to be appreciated. Depreciation is different. When we bought an old high mileage RV last year (1999), I figured that it was already fully depreciated, meaning it's already lost most of its value. But as I've tried to take care of it, I've been reminded that one definition of full depreciation is to be "at the end of its useful life." Is that what retirement means?! I'm discovering that as I do less I'm also more marginalized in my communities and worlds. Like the old RV, it appears that extending my useful life requires increased attention on many fronts, but even after getting that attention I'm still aging.

More surprises

Old RVs and fully depreciated ministry workers can still have a lot of adventures. Perhaps they will be even more fun because they're like an unexpected bonus. Here's to more surprises, knowing they won't all be easy or fun, but every new adventure means life is still in process.

Eternity is getting closer, but not shorter

Perhaps no matter how long I live, life after death will be just as long. If redemption is a gift from a loving God, and I do believe that, perhaps there is no hurry to get there. We can take all the time we need to finish here before we leave!

In the God who keeps us, with love and surprises, Steve and Laura

PS I am biking, hiking, and definitely walking, but also still healing. Deep breathing is always good, and Ecclesiastes 9:9 is still great advice.

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Proof of life

Did "proof of life" get your attention? Actually, I just mean that it's been a while since I've written a ministry update, and last time I mentioned that I had cancer, so it occurred to me I should probably write! (This is an email update list, so if you're getting it and you don't want to, please tell me. Oh, and if you're in a small group with me, you're not actually on the email update list, but I'm copying you anyway.)

We're both still alive, although dealing with my health concerns has taken a good amount of time. The short story is that I went through various diagnostic steps hoping we could appropriately treat the prostate cancer without removing the prostate. Then I had my prostate removed, which is a major operation in its own right, robots notwithstanding, and began the recovery process. While that still continues, I am alive and mostly functional with hope of further improvement.

It has been good to see that God has still brought us opportunities to be alongside others, engaged in meaningful conversations, and seeking to love well just as we are, including in the presence of sickness. I have also been reminded that when I share my weakness others resonate and open up in ways that wouldn't have happened if I kept silent, and for that I am also grateful. After all, my weakness is not any greater for having shared it, and shared burdens are sometimes easier to bear.

This is the week of Martha's 90th birthday, so let me add a note about how she has contributed to our ministry through the years. While it's quite true that she, and Bob with her while he was alive, have contributed financially, as so many parents do for their kids in ministry, she has also loved us in so many other ways. 

For instance, she and Bob moved here to Colorado from Texas to volunteer in the ministry I was involved with at the time, and more than that they came alongside us with our young children--3 in under 3 years. When the kids were one (2) and three, they actually lived in our basement for most of a year (1992.) When my parents were dying across the country (1993,) they not only hosted us but also my mom, and pitched in alongside us to move my mom, with ALS, across the country when my dad died first.

Then they released us to go to Taiwan with their grandchildren (1996,) helped us pack, took us to and from the airport multiple times, and visited us there five times over the 15 years. Every time we returned to the US, including once for six months and once for a year, they put us up in their home, shared their vehicles, and so much more. Along the way Martha also hosted multiple visits from my sisters and their families, whom she treats like her family, as she has done with so many others as well, including many internationals and many in international ministry (and of course especially German speakers!)

So join us in celebrating this special lady, mother of my bride, like a mother to me, grandmother of course, and Gigi to our grandchildren! She loves to get mail (same mailing address as ours) and email as well, so if you want to reach out to her at this time of celebration, please do! (She likes phone calls, too, but I won't post her phone number here. If you email one of us, we'll forward the emails or give you her phone number if you'd like to call.)

With love in the One who keeps us, Steve and Laura

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Six questions

Some of you know I have a hard time giving a straight answer—there are so many ways questions could be taken, so many presuppositions, [and my mind is off to the races!]

So when I got a list of six questions that "everyone wants to know," I thought maybe I should try to give a straight answer.

Our story

Growing up between cultures was a big feature of my early life. Moving from California to Texas was only the beginning (back in the day when that just didn't happen.) I watched my parents move far away from where they started because they cared to make a difference in people's lives and relationships. We ended up in eastern Venezuela. And I saw how overwhelming that journey was for them, for me and my three younger sisters, and for others like us. My heart was moved with compassion to care for people willing to dare such a thing, typically without knowing what it would cost—after all, how could we know?

Who we care for

So we embarked on a journey coming alongside people in international ministry, just as they are, wherever they are, cradle to grave, Cairo to Caripe, Texas to Taichung, not exclusively but inclusively. It's been a rewarding journey. We do this through Paraclete.net, from a Greek word that can be translated "one who comes alongside," and now we're based in Colorado Springs.

Changing amid the changes

Looking back, I have many regrets. Those include judgments I have made that stopped me from loving people unconditionally, risks I have taken that have hurt myself and others, and challenging situations where I didn't make an effective difference. These regrets have sometimes humbled me, sometimes taught me, and sometimes been downright wasted.

Along the way I think my contributions have changed. I have more stories to tell, but fewer answers. I have a longing to move further toward honor and respect rather than settling for tolerance. I am less concerned with systemic change and more concerned with pursuing small differences. I have less life and energy left, but more memories and history. [And I'm more aware that my perspective might not be yours or even that of my closest allies and associates, much less God's.]

Words for those up and coming

1.       It's okay to be you. The question we all face is how to make meaning out of who we are, not how to be somebody else.

2.       If you want to do something, take the time to prepare. If there is a wildland fire, we need wildland firefighters, not random hikers. If there is prostate cancer, we need urologists and oncologists, not youtube. I have keenly felt the gaps between the training and experience I have and the preparation and background I need, but I have also prepared a lot (but not always!) Humility is great. Thinking I can be great without preparing is naïve.

3.       Coming alongside has often meant letting someone else be in charge. It also means watching things happen I may not like and cannot change. I am still getting used to this 😉.

What we need now

Godliness with contentment is great gain. We always need more of that. We also benefit from…

·         Companions in the journey,

·         Mutual participation in each other's lives, and

·         Acceptance and love, especially when we don't deserve it.

Six questions

You might be wondering what the six questions were, especially if you noticed I only gave five answers. Here they are:

1.       Please give a brief introduction of yourself and your ministry. Who, what kind of work, where, etc.  Keep in mind that many people at BridgePoint are new and may know nothing about you.

2.       How did God lead you into ministry? What is your "story"?  How specifically did He lead or set your direction? 

3.       Who are the particular group(s) to whom you minister?

4.       How have you changed in the process of ministering to these people?  How has your ministry changed as you have served?

5.       What counsel would you offer to someone who is considering how they might serve?

6.       What is the greatest need in your ministry? How can BridgePoint better support you?

[Quoted from Dale Ashworth, Bridgepoint]

Thanks for listening, Steve and Laura

PS We have some more news about my cancer, but I'll put that in the "Spinella health" email group. If you don't get something soon, I haven't (successfully) added you to that group, so let me know if you're missing that.

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] New group for health journey

Hello, friends and family,

You may have heard that I am facing possible prostate cancer. Various people have told me they want to stay alongside as I continue this journey. If that's you, please let me know and I'll invite you to a google group called "spinellahealth" for that purpose.

If you are thinking of someone who might want to be alongside us, but might not have gotten this message, this is a good message to forward :-). I don't necessarily have the perfect address book, even for family members, but I'm not trying to exclude anybody. And if this isn't your preferred address, you might want to tell me, too! I got it somewhere sometime :-). For that matter, if you just don't want me listing you in my contacts at all, go ahead and tell me. I'll try to handle it well ;-).

Also, this is the age of the metaverse (or so I am told,) so I am not making "spinellahealth" a public group out of respect for my meta-health ;-). 

We have added a new email address: spinellahealth@gmail.com. That is specifically for replies about health-related matters. Our other preferred emails are below. (My "alumni" address still works, but I'm transitioning to using the gmail address below as my primary email identity. Speaking of addresses, we get all our mail (and packages) at the Otero Ave address, even though if you want to come see us, you need to come to Springcrest Rd. But don't worry, if you send something to Springcrest Rd, we'll see it when we collect the junk mail, and we'll treat it differently.)

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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