TEAMspinella: February 2010

Friday, February 19, 2010

[TEAMspinella] Happy new year to all tigers and the rest of us

Chinese New Year is a time for family, like Christmas and Thanksgiving combined. This year it was the 14th, same as valentines. I think valentines pretty much got skipped in Taiwan this year :-). This morning I can hear the firecrackers going as businesses reopen. That and the rain. The one week almost everyone really has vacation and it has been cold and wet! Right now it's raining, 10C/51F, and 94% humidity. Inside it's nicer: 17C/63F, 66% humidity, and not raining. I think I'll stay inside for now.

Speaking of family, it's been a while since you've gotten an email update from Laura. As usual, I'm excerpting from a personal note she wrote, so if you've already seen this, you know who you are! The rest of you--she loves you too! She wrote this on Chinese New Year's eve. Happy New Year!

___________________

The last couple of days I have not been feeling too well, and Steve has gone camping (tent camping--which is something he has never done before in Taiwan, but a friend with equipment invited him to go!) This has turned out to give me some time to catch up on some things…so I'm glad I can finally write to you!

Yes, graduation is coming up for Sarah (May 16)! Since Sarah is graduating with a degree in psychology and linguistics she has decided to pursue grad school…and this whole school year is being swallowed up by that pursuit! In the fall she was researching schools and filling out applications. This semester she is going to interviews …which makes it hard for her to keep focused on her studies. So we are watching and wondering where she will be next year. She has quite a few interview offers, and so far one acceptance: Tx A&M. (Keep her in mind, she's at an interview now and has several more this next week.)

Graduating is a tough transition…I remember that it was a lot of fun to be a student at Rice, and much less fun to work a 40 hour week after I graduated!

Rob is still studying English and a lot of History classes…but doesn't have a career plan. Joey is still studying mech E, and we are delighted that God has provided a summer job at UCCS in the lab of a prof who is designing a space sling. (This just fell through. The prof can't hire him because he's not a UCCS student.) I guess we'll learn more about that later! We are also delighted that he will be in CS for the summer, since we are thinking we will be there for the summer this year.

May the Father be with all of these "emerging adults" and give them hearts that seek him as they transition from one place and school to the next role! May He give them grace to take up increased responsibility by relying on him, and the wisdom to know how to live for him in an increasingly complicated world!

Steve and I are doing well. At the beginning this restoration program was a very painful thing for us, but as time goes on, and as Steve has humbled himself and embraced the process it has been a real blessing from my perspective. This year (since our return in September) has been unusual in so many ways…our first year of having a real empty nest in Taiwan. Also, some of the assignments that I once filled are now filled by others. I'm glad to give most of them up (such as retreat planning), but I miss teaching the English bible study that I taught before I left. I'm open to trying new ministries….so far I've tried leading jr church (I'm on rotation) and helping at VBS, I'm doing some book-keeping for church, and still on the school board, and I meet with lots of women and listen and pray. And I even have time to show hospitality. And to be a little involved with Steve's restoration…discussing his books and reading some parts with him. I feel I could be doing more…but am also thankful for a time to slow down after so many years of feeling always busy to the max. This is the first year I have actually cleaned my house (at least part way) for Chinese new year!

And, thanks again for your financial support.

We send our love! Laura

__________________

PS A Taiwan friend found this blog entry describing Chinese New Year. It tells you more than I know anyway!

http://wandering-taiwan.blogspot.com/2010/02/gong-si-fa-tsai.html

The very first year we celebrated Chinese New Year, some folks who had lived in Taiwan told us mandarin oranges (juzi, now perhaps my favorite fruit, similar to tangarines or clementines but larger) would be an excellent gift. We should however be careful not to give 4 as that was unlucky. Well, with our five year olds in tow we made it over to King Sooper, where a helpful employee pulled some molding oranges out of the back. I found six that looked okay and bought them. (I recall they seemed expensive to us at the time.) Unfortunately at home I found two more with mold, so having forgotten what I heard at Sunday school (shocker, I know,) guess what we brought. Not only a miserly gift but a terrible one. Still it was graciously received as was evident when they showed us the picture years later with the four oranges sitting on the table. Thankfully they were brothers and sisters, so the homonym of the chinese word for "4" with the one for "dead" hopefully held no power. One thing you can count on, though. That would not be my last mistake in Chinese culture!

Also, we've got a new family picture! I'm not including it because of size, but you can see it and download it at http://picasaweb.google.com/TEAMspinella/LatestFamilyPicture#5439758359141149186. There are lots of other pictures there, including of the camping trip Laura mentioned.

Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 404, TAIWAN
011 886 4 2236-6145, wk 2236-1901, fx 2236-2109, cell 9 2894-0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 719.355.4809
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800 343-3144
<www.team.org.tw/spinella>, <www.team.org.tw/ccg> <spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>

--
This is an email list for friends of Steve and Laura...
To reply to a posting, send email to steve.spinella@gmail.com
To unsubscribe from this group, send email to TEAMspinella-unsubscribe@googlegroups.com
To see past emails, pictures, et al, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/TEAMspinella?hl=en

Happy new year to all tigers and the rest of us

___________________

Graduating is a tough transition…I remember that it was a lot of fun to be a student at Rice, and much less fun to work a 40 hour week after I graduated!

And, thanks again for your financial support.

We send our love! Laura

__________________

PS A Taiwan friend found this blog entry describing Chinese New Year. It tells you more than I know anyway!

http://wandering-taiwan.blogspot.com/2010/02/gong-si-fa-tsai.html

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

[TEAMspinella] Making amends where it is possible to do so

Do you ever have a situation that you've been involved in play back in your head?

For me, those are often situations where I felt trapped, conflicted, or otherwise stuck, and I did something that didn't work out too well. Actually, I did something or didn't do something that worked out badly. Actually I may not know what went wrong, I certainly don't know what everyone else involved was thinking, but I have a pretty strong suspicion that I did not handle the situation well. In fact, I did wrong.

At this point, I face a choice. What shall I do now? Often my response has been to do nothing. Yes, I feel bad. Yes, I was often frustrated or angry at the time. Many times I can identify external or internal factors that made that situation hard for me. Still, the bottom line is that I replay the situation because I don't feel good about what I did, not because of those external or internal factors.

Sometimes I have even apologized or asked for forgiveness while internally remaining angry or blaming toward others. I doubt that works well for those who have received my apologies, no matter how well worded. I know it doesn't work well for me. Why do I know it doesn't work well? Because I still replay the situations over again, looking for something....

From where I sit now, at least most of the time, that something is repentance. Regret. Remorse. Acknowledgement I blew it. And when I get to that point, then I also have to ask myself what I should do about it now. First I could do something to acknowledge this to my father (see PS) and to another human being. But I also need to ask myself what prevents me from going to those I can and making amends when that is possible without doing further harm.

There are several things that prevent me from doing that. One is pride. It is humbling to go back to people who may already be upset or alienated and reminding them of a moment about which I've already figured out I don't feel good about. A second is desperation. How will I ever finish such a task? Once I start remembering things like this, what else will I remember? (I could go on, but I think you can probably follow my drift.)

Anyway, that is the stage I'm at in my restoration journey these days. I'm actively seeking out at least some of the people who I may have hurt and sharing my regret for those hurts, accepting responsibility for specific offenses on my part when I am able to see those. And by the way, if you're waiting for me to get to you or someone you know, would you tell me about it? I would like to know, though I may find it hard to listen, and not hearing about it won't really help me out much in the long run :-)

While I'm thinking of it, let me run the link to that feedback survey where anyone can give me anonymous feedback of any kind you'd like...

http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/CG8SCWM

With love from the far side, Steve and Laura

PS When I am writing something that goes out to many people (and lingers around on the internet for who knows how long,) I try to avoid using specialized vocabulary that goes with my heart in an effort to avoid automated search engines and so forth. I'm not trying to hide my convictions. Anybody who actually reads what I write will get those quick enough. If you will, think of it as akin to those inane letters or numbers you have to type when you put a comment up on the web. I know that my little workarounds may not be of any great value, but I'm still doing it. Especially if my alternate language about matters of the heart happens to rub you the wrong way, please forgive me. And if anything I say has hit you wrong for any reason, I'd be grateful to hear about it.