[TEAMspinella] Well, it seemed big to us anyway!

This month we did something that seems especially hard to us, although I'm not sure how you'll feel about it. We released our financial ministry partners from any commitment they might feel to keep funding our ministry. I just wrote all our current ministry partners, but there have also been others who have sustained our ministry, through three sponsoring non-profits, four sponsoring churches, and many years of ministry.

We are very grateful to all these ministry partners. They have sustained our ministry, through good times and hard times, and encouraged our hearts.

I think most supported ministry workers feel this way. It's hard to explain how much it means to have people partnering with us in the ministries to which we've committed ourselves. Launching out to do challenging and uncertain things can be very intimidating. Knowing that people (and churches!) are alongside us encourages us a lot. (The same is true for the non-profit orgs that have hosted our ministries.)

So why are Laura and I releasing our ministry partners? We aren't quitting the ministries to which we are committed--and these emails are part of that, but we are recognizing a few realities that have crept up on us:

-we're getting older,

-our personal finances are stable,

-our ministry commitments are increasingly balanced with other commitments, like family and health,

-we can still do ministry going forward, full-time, part-time, or as volunteers, and

-our sponsoring org, paraclete.net, will still be sponsoring us, although our ability to be reimbursed for expenses or receive personal compensation will drop as our funding drops.

Admittedly, over the years many ministry partners have released us before we released them, and partners always make their own decisions about who they fund, but we want to celebrate them (you?!) all, while we're still around to celebrate. Still, in almost every case we invited their (your) partnership, and in view of the factors above, we felt it appropriate to also intentionally release them (you) as partners!

Over the years we often reflected on this question: What is most likely to keep us from continuing the work to which we are committed? Almost always, the top answer was sustaining our internal motivation and resilience. However, this was only true because of our faithful ministry partners!

Everyone who cares about us, works alongside us, prays for us, encourages us, and so on also sustains us. But guess what? The people who have partnered financially in our ministry do all those things too, and they don't forget us because, you know, "where your money is, there goes your heart!"

Would you join me in celebrating what God has done through these special people and churches? Will you lift them up before God as they continue to make decisions going forward about where to put their money--and their hearts?! Thank you.

And as we head into a New Year, thanks to you all for every way in which you have journeyed with us, come alongside us, cared for us, challenged us, hosted us, and sustained us in this ministry journey, which is not yet done--for any of us!

With love in the one who keeps us, Steve and Laura

PS Just to be clear, we're not retiring just yet, just talking about a rather big and perhaps unusual step in our ministry :-). And our biggest fear is that opening our hands this way will lead to a loss of relationships, which we value so highly. So please know that we invite you to stay connected with us!

Also, if you are still motivated to contribute to our ministry, we (and Paraclete) will welcome your gifts, and seek to use them fully, carefully, and well. 

And here's a picture of us in all our senior glory ;-).

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] What you don't want to hear

This is the week when the Christmas letters come rolling in. Some were early, and of course some will be late. Some will not show up at all. But I realized just now that you don't want to hear one of my broad and/or quirky reflections on some aspect of international ministry life!

What you do want to hear, but don't want to hear, is that I probably have prostate cancer. This is the sort of challenge that upends other challenges. My first response to my primary care physician was that maybe we could just switch immediately into "watchful waiting." I love this term because it means, basically, do nothing. Unfortunately I'm not a very good candidate for that approach.

Instead he suggested that I could get an MRI right away or be referred to a urologist. Of course, I should have said, "I'll take both, please." The MRI, although the insurance company didn't pay for it, gave more clarity. My prostate-specific blood work matched up to a likely cancerous nodule that was clearly visible on the MRI--in other words, even I could see it was there on the images.

At first I didn't want to tell anyone, but that is a dead-end strategy. So my family knows, my colleagues know, and now all of you know also. It is only likely cancer--with this cancer they don't actually diagnose it until they run needles in and grab little chunks. So that's what I have to look forward to next, preferably sooner rather than later.

Now, like breast cancer, prostate cancer is common, and I'm very possibly not the first person you know facing this. So I should warn you that the least comforting words, according to at least one of my friends, are "lots of men get it and you probably will die from something else" or some variation on that wisdom. At his advice, we are making a list, and if you would like to say that, we can put your name on the list! After all, it might be true, and some day I'd like to say, "You were right, I was wrong." When the kids were teenagers and we all had strong opinions, we heard these were the six most beautiful words in the English language. Knowing that, I have said them with greater joy whenever I get the chance, although I could probably say them much more often.

So here you have a candidate for the most unusual Christmas update ever :-). I have discovered that announcing I might die is one way to stimulate people to say nice things to me--if you'd like to join that list, bring it on, please!

I just enjoyed seeing all three of my sisters and brothers-in-law in the last few weeks, and that was great. We are normally quite widely scattered. 

This Christmas Laura and I will be here in Colorado with our three grown-up kids, the two they married well, and this year not one, but three grandchildren, all uniquely cute and definitely well-loved (I'm including the grown-ups, of course) as well as Laura's mom, who is embracing the challenges of being 89 one day at a time, and now worrying about one more thing (the prostate cancer mentioned above)! Martha, you are also uniquely cute and definitely well-loved, as is anyone who has read this far ;-).

Now about those grandkids, etc. Evangeline is 3 now and endlessly entertaining. Cedar was born to Joey and Laura in February and lives just up the freeway about an hour in Lakewood. Isaiah was born in June and lives around the corner with John, Sarah, Evangeline, and Laura's mom, Martha. The three grandkids are all wonderful, but let us also add that they made our family vacation in August quite different. Martha is doing relatively well, still driving around town and enjoying visits both in person and on the phone. We got a 1999 RV last January and have made one trip out of Colorado and various shorter ventures into the mountains, although we did get turned down at one RV resort for being too old and ugly! We made zero ministry trips out of the country, but welcomed multiple families into our home on their trips back. International Women's Connection is meeting again, although outdoor meetups never stopped. Steve still doesn't like computer calls, but has done more of them than ever all the same.

And to make up for the update you didn't want to hear, here's a link to a few pictures:

Merry Christmas from the Spinellas!

With love in Him who keeps us, Steve and Laura

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Who should be more grateful?

A long time ago in a distant state, I was walking the beach with a good friend I had traveled far to see. He confessed to me that he was jealous that I was in full-time ministry while he was self-employed. I remember thinking to myself, "But wait—you make 5 times as much as I do." Who should be more grateful?

When my kids were applying to Rice University, and I was applying for financial aid, I told our financial aid officer that, unfortunately, while I went to Rice, I had never made very much money. She said, "But you have used your life to serve others." Who should be more grateful? (And to all the alumni donors etc., I say "Thank you!")

Jesus once made the observation that the one who is forgiven much loves much. Perhaps when all was said and done, the prodigal son loved his father more than his older brother?

In my own experience, I can say that my gratitude has grown when my humility has grown, and that, ironically, humiliation is the cause for more gratitude!

As you might guess, all of this is provoked by my quirky reflections on the Thanksgiving holiday, not to mention the prayer letters about gratitude that tend to arrive in my inbox this week.

Of course, the "right" answer is that any of us who are looking forward to an undeserved eternity of bliss thanks to God's love for us despite ourselves have the ultimate reason to be grateful.

All the same, I find my current experience of gratefulness tends to be more localized.

For instance, I recently had a friend who first woke up hanging upside down by his shoe from a tree branch, then subsequently came to on the ground a foot or so from a brick retaining wall and a further four foot drop. His current experience of gratitude seemed greatly enhanced by his calamity.

In my own life, I remember spinning around in a small Toyota on a country road, only to end up suspended on some vines between a telephone pole and a tree, driver's side down. After climbing out the passenger's door above me, I was so euphoric I think the police officer was a bit concerned. After a tow truck pulled the car out and changed a tire, I drove it home. Now that was a localized experience of gratitude! It is still vivid, even though it happened over 30 years ago.

So, yes, I am grateful, more than ever, both because of the good things I enjoy, but also because of the calamities (and self-imposed wounds!) I have survived. If experiences bring more happiness than things, then I would like to add that relationships bring more happiness than experiences, and forgiveness, forbearance, and longsuffering are gifts that never go out of style.

Perhaps gratitude is better than cynicism, and life is better than death, both in this world and what is yet to come. May you find a peace that goes beyond understanding, and may I find it also.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Steve and Laura

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] I got COVID!

It's true. That was the big event of my last month. I've tried to be careful. I've worn a mask when others haven't, I've stopped travelling internationally since the pandemic started, and I even dropped my small group in the spring when our kids were pregnant and worried about infecting the babies. We limited shopping trips etc. I got a vaccine as soon as I was eligible, and I was waiting to be eligible for the booster.

All the same, a vaccinated friend was in our home for a small group meeting, and I was the one who got it. (She had symptoms the next morning.) I think it's possible I infected others in my next small group, four days later, before I had symptoms on the sixth day.

Laura didn't get it, and in fact was able to help take care of our friend. And three weeks later I have only a few lingering reminders I was sick. And yesterday I got the booster as well!

I hope you'll show me some forbearance if my decisions were different than yours. It appears these days that is one of the risks of this pandemic.

Speaking of risks…

All this got me thinking that one of the challenges in international ministry is dealing with risk. There are lots of risks. In fact, when we first arrived in Taiwan, people were surprised we came, as a large nearby country was launching missiles off the cost while Taiwan prepared for its first direct presidential election. (March, 1996.) I just responded that we figured one more family on an island of 22 million wouldn't make much difference.

Accept risk

So that's my first principle. In international ministry, as in life, we often need to begin by accepting risks. These come in many flavors, and like all risks, they may not come to fruition, but they are real possibilities. In 1996, Taiwan elected a President, we did not evacuate, and our kids did fine in their new school. Our five year olds got stuck in a faulty elevator, Laura was rear-ended after dropping the kids off at school, and life went on. In fact, we even survived the super large earthquake a few years later, and I could go on for a long time about other challenges we accepted, some intentionally and some by surprise. This week a friend was surprised I had made a trip to Afghanistan. I don't suppose it needs to be a secret now since the government has changed anyway. Accepting risk is part of life and ministry.

Lower risk

To the degree we're good at accepting risk, we're probably poor at lowering risk, and vice versa. But lowering risk is an equally important second principle for me. An old English preacher told the story of a rich person who interviewed potential carriage drivers, asking them the question, "How close can you come to the edge of a cliff on a narrow mountain road?" He hired the one who said, "My goal is to keep you as far away from the edge of the road as possible." Since life includes many risks, we may even be selecting between risks—do I trust a taxi driver or do I drive a scooter? Do I ride my bike in the traffic and pollution or do I stay indoors? I'm holding myself back here. Choices about lowering risk are endless and ubiquitous.

Share risk

Sharing risk goes two ways: One, others take risks, and as I come alongside them, I share in those risks. Two, I take risks and they affect those who are in my sphere of influence. I'm not going to talk about driving and riding in cars, as Laura and I have already been talking about this for years (mainly in cars.) But what about counseling? One saying I liked from Patrick Lencioni was as follows: 'There are plenty of people who will tell us the truth, and there are plenty who will tell us what we want to hear. What is in short supply is people who will tell us the gentle truth! [Recollected paraphrase.]' As an inveterate change agent, I more frequently err on the side of telling people the "truth," even though I'm in a profession that is known for telling people what they want to hear. (That way, they come back to see you again!) So I've worked on my gentleness, but I've also had to repent and make amends for offenses. And unfortunately, I'm not even always right. Imagine that. Jesus suffered rejection, but he didn't sin. Me—not so much. (And if I've offended you and not made amends, please let me know. I would like to do so if it's possible without causing further harm.)

Of course, sharing risk is part of coming alongside people, whether it's caring for the sick, visiting people in Afghanistan, or meeting in a small group when one out of 50 people in Colorado have COVID.

What about you?

What is your philosophy of risk management? How do you accept risk, lower risk, and share risk? What is God calling you to do in response to the uncertainties of life and relationship? Can you understand why someone would go to a country they're not from in order to love and influence others? Even if you personally would not take that risk?

Most of all, with love, in the one who keeps us, Steve and Laura

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Dying with my boots on

Now that I'm 65, I feel I'm legitimately allowed to consider when to quit my job. Well, it's not as if I've never thought about it before. I just feel more legitimate now 😊

Do you ever think about when to quit? Which do you find harder—to start a job or to quit? I suppose we each quit the same number of times we start a new job. Actually that's not quite true—the difference is the number of jobs still underway, all of which we will surely quit in the days yet to come. So I suppose any job worth starting is worth quitting?!

One way of looking at my job is that I help people keep working when they have reasons to quit. In that sense, my medicare eligibility only gives me new insights about how and why people like me quit! With that in mind, I invite you to join me as I reflect on some good old sayings about work. Another way of looking at my job is that I come alongside people wherever they are at in the international ministry journey, from starting to quitting and beyond!

Dying with my boots on!

Dying with my boots on implies a faithfulness to keep working to the very end of life. Unexpected accidents are tragic, but most of the time the people I know have slowed down a lot before the end. When I turned 15, a beloved mentor and employer had his last heart attack in the woodshop. He was pushing wood through the planer without me, his apprentice, while I was gone on a trip with my father. He loved to make things, but I'm not sure his diligence was matched with wisdom in this. He lived a long and full life, and he certainly died with his boots on, but if he had taken a few days to sit at home while I was gone, I have the feeling he might have lived and loved a while longer. I would have enjoyed that a lot. (And every day I think he would have kept showing me his finger with the part missing from the planer!)

For my own part, my MD is telling me that lowering my blood pressure and cholesterol levels might well mean living longer. He ran an online calculator that showed my odds of dying from heart disease in the next ten years at 20% if I don't change anything. Now some of you younger folks are thinking, "20% is not bad for an old geezer like Steve." Stop it! Some of the older folks are probably thinking, "20% in ten years, I'd take those odds."

Working myself out of a job!

For some reason, I've heard this saying particularly associated with international ministry. Perhaps ironically, I seldom hear people say this to their pastors. Most of you know I was in Taiwan 15 years as director of a counseling center, and I've been back as recently as right before COVID. It's now been over ten years since I left. God has certainly brought along some great people to continue the work, but I can also say with certainty that I didn't work myself out of that job.

On the other hand, while I was doing it and even before I started, I certainly imagined that someone else could do it better. Based on what I have heard, I wasn't the only one with those thoughts either!

Working for the night is coming!

I think this saying focuses more on the work than the person working. Whether daylight is required to see the task at hand or the harvest must be brought in before the weather changes, this saying reminds us that there may be a window of time when a task needs doing, and delay will mean loss. I think the Israelis who crossed the Red Sea experienced that—the Egyptians pursuing them, not so much. On the other hand, sometimes we don't know how long we have, and we might not undertake a job if we knew what time and chance were bringing our way.

One of the parts of my job has been writing these email updates. I realized early on that I couldn't write about the people I'm caring for, so I decided instead to write about myself and my family with particular attention to the challenges of the international ministry journey. This year I've been asking myself--what are the themes that somehow never get talked about? I think quitting ministry jobs and leaving ministry roles is one of those things that gets little attention. So here I am, with the temerity of an old guy with little to lose 😊!

Working like an ant, not like a grasshopper!

I fear the grasshoppers don't get much respect in this proverb, as we can all see the ants diligently moving as long as they have life, while the grasshoppers spring from one place to another at seemingly random intervals.* Both grasshoppers and ants have been with us for a long time, and both strategies are apparently effective for their respective practitioners.

(*Fun fact: While Proverbs 6 uses an ant as an illustration of a good worker, the parable of the ant and the grasshopper is one of Aesop's fables. Aesop is believed to have been a slave and storyteller around the time of the minor prophets. In the Bible, grasshoppers and locusts are often images of warriors.)

In our family we've got a cross-cultural marriage. Laura works more like an ant and I work more like a grasshopper. We try to live fully and well just as we are, but we know the challenges of both ants and grasshoppers—and can borrow from each other's strategies as well.

A good worker sees what needs to be done!

This saying suggests that the work is always at hand, and that the question is instead whether we have the wisdom and skill to both see a need and to take care of it, moving as expeditiously as possible to the next task. When our kids were young, we called this "Cappola Pomola." After all, who tells middle schoolers to apply Critical Path Project Management. In practice, this often meant something like "Go to the car now. Tie your shoes on the way to school." Or maybe, "Don't wait for someone to tell you to go to the bathroom, get your books together, and grab your lunch." It's still good advice for a 65 year old, but I don't think Cappola Pomola has ever gone viral.

But wait, there's more!

Figuring out when to take a job and when to lay it down is complex, and there are many factors that go into such decisions. A sage once said that there is always more to be said on a subject. Proverbs are good, and they contain some truth. The wise selection of the right proverb for any situation is an art form.

"You go, and do likewise." That was what Jesus said at the end of the story about the good foreigner: "'Which of these three, do you think, proved to be a neighbor to the man who fell among the robbers?' He said, 'The one who showed him mercy.' And Jesus said to him, 'You go, and do likewise.' [Luke 10:36-37, ESV]"

So if you're wondering how this 65 year old and my slightly younger lady decide to keep working, here are some hints. Doing good to our neighbors is always in season. So let's all go and be good foreigners, even with our neighbors.

With love, in the name of the one who keeps us, Steve and Laura

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Diminishing

I just turned 65. Hurray, I'm eligible for medicare. In fact, I'm required to get it. Goodbye, Obamacare. Goodbye, HSA. I even had a party—with my family! Life is good.

Still I feel somewhat diminished. This is not the first time I've felt that—the triggers have been creeping in from many sides.

When did it start? Was it when I was told, "I'm looking for someone younger to lead that team." Was it when the tinitis started? Or maybe when kids beating Dad at ping pong became an expectation, not a big deal. Or when I took a spill on a mountain bike and asked my son, "Was it 'Too bad, Dad fell.' Or 'Oh, no! Is he alright?!'" And he said, "Do you really want to know?" Or then, "Why don't you get an e-bike so we can ride trails together." Diminishing.

Which is more fun, watching a grandkid grow up or watching myself grow old?

I find diminishing is one of the harder things in life. It's harder to pastor a shrinking church than a growing one. Yet we act like pastors of growing churches are the best. What's with that?!

John the Baptizer said, "He must become greater; I must become less." Elijah said, "I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too." Diminishing.

If you're still reading, you must be a loyal friend. Diminishing can be depressing. In fact, I just deleted Jeremiah 45:3-5, one of those prophecies no one memorizes.

I can't really write about the people I care for—they get to tell their own stories. So, I write about challenges that people like us face. I write especially about the challenges that come up in our own journey as workers and as people.

For some time now I've been saying that my goal is not to do more and greater things, but rather to make the taper long and slow as God gives me grace to do so. From that perspective, 65 is not a finish line, but just another interesting passage. It's a reminder to celebrate God's faithfulness, to enjoy life as a good gift, and to keep making time for people near and far.

Among the luxuries of this stage of life are to have a lot of stories, to be able to laugh at ourselves, and to be a servant without counting the cost too closely.

Diminishing, a time to remember and to reminisce, a time for gratefulness and for grief, and sometimes a time to tell the painful stories when the wounds are only scars and the mistakes can make us laugh.

May God be with all of us, no matter what our stage in work and life, and even in the world at large.

 

In the one who keeps us, Steve and Laura

 

PS Laura's much younger and more optimistic. This is just my perspective 😊. However, she has given up her plan to summit Pike's Peak next week due to some unexpected hip pain. Apparently, with all her exercise, she's been using the wrong muscles and needs to retrain them to work together more effectively. So remember her, too, in that. Hopefully soon she'll be better than ever.

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Show me a box…and I’ll try to think outside it

My adult son Robert has said to me more than once, "Dad, whatever someone says, you always take the opposite side." He has had 31 years to figure this out, so I see no point in taking the opposite side—for once. At the end of this email, you can write back and tell me if you agree.

I'm occasionally a slight bit annoyed by SMART goals. I find people generally set goals like they live the rest of life, and if you keep doing the same thing, why would you expect different results? The people who talk about SMART goals always seem to be the people who already do this, making me wonder if they are almost saying, "Here's one more thing I do a little bit better."

SMART goals are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and timely. Those all sound like pretty good things. I've certainly seen plenty of goals that weren't some of those, too. Here's the first article I came up with on Google: https://www.peoplegoal.com/blog/smarter-goals-setting.

But how different would it be if we came up with STUPID goals? Maybe not so much.

My dad always liked acronyms. He often made them during sermons, whether or not he was the preacher. So in honor of Father's Day, and to prove my son right, here's my acronym for STUPID goals:

·        Simple: Goals should be simple. Complicated goals quickly become irrelevant. Just keep it simple.

·        Tantalizing: A goal should be attractive, in a way that encourages me to pursue it.

·        Understated: The whole point of goals is to reach them. Sandbagging, the fine art of making a goal easily exceeded, is a glorious tradition among people managed by SMART expectations.

·        Pleasurable: Goals should be more pleasurable than painful. People who pursue pain are not happy people, and they're not fun coworkers. Pain finds us, we don't need to make it a goal. Of course, there's something to be said for getting there, as in Hebrews 12:12, but even that verse does have a goal in the second half.

·        Interesting: If a goal does not hold our attention, it won't make much of a difference in the subsequent competition for mindspace. I think a goal should also be idiocentric, meaning it is particularly related to the uniqueness of who we are.

·        Dicey: Are we picking dicey goals? Dicey, as in unpredictable and potentially dangerous? Goals should have some risk—maybe they conflict with each other, maybe they have the potential to radically alter our self-perception, maybe they get us out of a box and challenge us to see the world around us differently. If goals aren't somewhat risky, how will they make a difference?

My dad might not have liked STUPID goals. He was a nuclear and electrical engineer before he went into ministry, and engineers like SMART goals. But I think there's something to be said for STUPID too, and ultimately I think God can use STUPID and SMART, perhaps equally well.

 

In the one who keeps us, Steve

 

PS In addition to Father's Day, last week included our sons' birthdays—twins born on separate days, 7 minutes apart 31 years ago. We are also still adjusting to our newest grandson. Isaiah Immanuel Forcey was born to John and Sarah on June 2. He lives around the corner and I last held him…last night, on Sarah and John Forcey's 7^th Anniversary! Older sister Evangeline seems to be adjusting well and cousin Cedar James Spinella (born in February) is oblivious, although we anticipate they'll have some great times together. All three are thriving, and we think they're the greatest gift ever!

PPS One of our roles is to come alongside people as they are debriefing, reviewing, reflecting, or even taking a sabbatical. That is what prompted my musings above, so could you remember and intercede for us and for those we come alongside?

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Is COVID over?

Today I led a men's group without a mask. Of course, I have never seen some of my friends wearing a mask, but now masks are not required.

Laura and I are also vaccinated for COVID. Ironically I signed us both up on the same site, minutes apart, but we were assigned to different locations, receiving different vaccines.

The day I was officially in the safe zone,, we left on a trip in an old RV we purchased in January. People tend to ask if I enjoyed it, and I say, "Yes." I did however feel a bit odd the whole time, as it fits right in there with golf and skiing as things I always imagined I would never do. If you're wondering, yes, it is loud, and yes, it drives like a truck :-). If you can see the picture, those are our bikes on the back, a definite positive for us.

But COVID isn't over. Recently Taiwan, after all these months, has a community outbreak. Given the population density there, both government and community are quite concerned. All schools there just shut down for at least 2 weeks. Yet the last daily case count was about the same as for El Paso County here in Colorado. Elsewhere many people are dying around the world. Much of the world lacks either the infrastructure or the will to even report the numbers. International christian workers have been and are being deeply impacted along with those they serve. Many have had to leave to avoid burdening local infrastructures that are overwhelmed, to comply with government mandates, or for other compelling reasons. When we serve others outside our passport countries, we are guests, regardless of our residence status.

COVID also isn't over for us. Tensions remain about what is known or knowable, and certainly much remains uncertain or even unknown, not to mention that things continue to change.

Laura's engagement with the International Women's Connection here in Colorado Springs has been deeply altered. Many questions remain about how to proceed. I have given up my prior avoidance of deep conversations pursued virtually, seemingly at God's irresistible direction. 

Opportunities to be alongside keep coming to us, albeit less predictably, right up to today. I am reminded of the New Testament writer who said, "Oh, that today you would listen as he speaks! Do not harden your hearts...." This is in the letter to the Hebrews/Israelis. The emphasis on today is quoted from a Psalm. And the Psalm looked back to the time when the Israelis left the Pharaoh's Egypt and were at their wits end in the desert. Apparently today is only the latest of a whole lot of todays, and the challenges, distractions, and temptations of today are just the latest in a long line of stressful situations people have faced, and I'm afraid will face. 

One thing we are looking forward to, can you believe it, is our third grandchild. Don't worry, we will certainly mention it if and when this hope becomes a reality. The due date is early June.

We are savoring the presence of international ministry workers in the house with us this month. Of course, pray for more good conversations! We are enjoying them.

In the one who keeps us, Steve and Laura

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] A debrief brief

A brief is a short written account. A debrief, or debriefing, is a meeting where someone gives a report about an important job they have finished. Debriefing can mean more than one thing, but in my world it is particularly used to talk about coming alongside someone returning from an international ministry experience. We have just been doing that, so I thought I'd talk--just a little--about that.

We are all about coming alongside people, and this definitely includes when they are finishing an international ministry experience. Between when I started ministry and now, a personal or family debriefing experience has become a good thing, not just a requirement, not just a work assignment, and not just a one hour meeting. Well, good in the sense that MTI.org, where I worked before heading to Taiwan, now offers these experiences throughout the year and has a waiting list to get in. Good in the sense that people write books about it. Good in the sense that many people want it for themselves or for others. Not good in the sense that everyone does it, everyone loves it, and everyone agrees it's better than ice cream.

Most of us like to be listened to and understood. Most of us want to be honored and respected. Most of us want to be comforted and encouraged.

So at one level, debriefing is just creating a safe place, being available, and listening as well as we possibly can. We can all seek to do that for one another.

But there are certain themes that come up. I currently have a list of five.

Identity, our core self, motivates our decisions, changes through our experiences, and makes us unique. Who are we, especially in the midst of changing worlds?

Story, our journey, is not just what has happened, but how we make sense of all that to ourselves and to others. What is my story, both inside, for myself, and what I share with those around me?

Trauma, the stresses we can't forget, colors our world going forward, sometimes without invitation. What have I suffered and what suffering have I witnessed?

Change, the transitions, switches, and swaps we negotiate, requires attention and energy. We are saying goodbyes, grieving losses, and exiting worlds, only to say hellos, make new investments, and enter new communities. Where are we at in that chaos?

Relationship, the people that shape our communal selves, is renegotiated. Some get stronger, some get weaker, some disappear, and some emerge. Who are we releasing and who are we clinging to? Who do we love and who do we tolerate--sometimes the same people.

 

Coming alongside people through debriefing is an opportunity, but also an art. It is an intimate experience, yet one that belongs more to the bridge between worlds than to either side of the bridge.

Every encounter is unique--some happen in groups or families, some individually. Some are a special time and place set aside, others are a series of times and places. Some happen just in time, others happen when the time, the place, and the people finally come together.

As I reflect on this, I'm grateful to be included, however it happens, and I know the most important things are faith, hope, and love.

In the one who keeps us all, wherever we journey, Steve and Laura

PS Speaking of transitions, our recent favorite is the arrival of Cedar James Spinella, son of Joey and Laura. We hope to stay deeply engaged over the long haul with this one :-). Welcome, Cedar!

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] Chinese New Year--how big a deal is it?

"Hi Steve, Can you enlighten me a little? We are in the process of hiring some folks from Asia to help with our workload a little.  Our internal contact there was telling my manager that they want to have the interviews done before the Chinese New Year, which I guess starts this Thursday(?).  So my manager is like "Why in the world are they insisting that this be done before the Chinese New Year???""

Happy Chinese New Year! (Really that should be simply, "Happy New Year!" The lunar year is the traditional one in the Chinese world, and so (Chinese) New Year happens sometime around early February, on a date set by a lunar calendar (which has a thirteenth month every few years to make up for the difference between the lunar and solar calendars.) This year it's Friday, February 12, but it starts at sundown or maybe 6pm on New Year's Eve, so really Thursday, 2/11.

Anyway, I responded to my friend, but then I thought, probably a few others of you would be interested in this. And of course, our friends in Taiwan can snicker a bit that we know so little about this, or maybe correct me gently as well. So, if you're interested, read on....

Chinese New Year is the biggest holiday of the year in the Chinese world. Among other things, everyone tries to visit both their own parents and their spouses parents, every organization has end of year celebrations, and everyone gets one to two weeks off. So essentially no new business gets done for the one or two weeks around CNY. (Think: your org, your client's orgs, your wife's orgs, your wife's client's orgs, your social orgs, etc.)

I suppose there is no reason why you or your manager would know this, and also no reason why it would occur to someone in the Chinese world that you wouldn't know this :-).

The bottom line is that since any interview done right now would be worthless anyway, it's totally reasonable to wait until after CNY, e.g., at least a week or two after CNY, before conducting these interviews. Given that this is Monday, I question whether it's reasonable to do these interviews before CNY, but if they are not done by Wednesday, they certainly will be done some time after CNY, no matter what anyone says. Waiting until after CNY, e.g. a week or more, would be preferable if you really want a good interview, which I assume you do. Most people get a week off, and then it takes a while for things to wind up to speed again.

This is particularly true in China because people may be working at great distances from their families. (Taiwan is much smaller and has no COVID also. They also have a 2-week quarantine requirement.) I have no idea how COVID is impacting this in the mainland, but I'm sure that is a factor as well.

BTW, good on you for realizing that this might benefit from an explanation and asking for one. This is always a great first step when working interculturally.

Steve

PS Did you know that it is traditional to get an extra month's salary at CNY? I certainly didn't, and my staff put up with this for some number of years before I was gently and gradually, but persistently enlightened. I think I was embarassing them :-( and CCG in their families and social contexts.

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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[TEAMspinella] What about the kids?!

No news here these days, so I thought I would write you about something I think about.

I "grew up internationally." People like me often come up with short ways to say this because the details are too complicated for social situations. My next elaboration might be, "I grew up in California, Texas, Costa Rica, and Venezuela."

I know that this way of growing up is not the norm. Most people in the world grow up mainly in one place. If they do move, it typically does not involve airplanes and passports.

Because it is somewhat different, people have long debated whether growing up internationally like I did is good for the kids or not. There are strong opinions about this, both among those who have experienced it and those who have not. So, when I took a mathematical model building course in college, this seemed like a natural question to explore. It was a lot of fun, although I did not publish any ground-breaking research.

I had some wins, such as discovering and obtaining a microfiche (for you millennials, this is something like an online textual database) including someone's year long effort to collect all the then-extant research on the subject, paid for by an interested non-profit. (Thank you, WBT and Steve VanRooy!) I also discovered some then cutting-edge research on randomized mathematical models, housed in my university, and was introduced to the researcher. This was great stuff, although it is no longer cutting-edge 40+ years later. Now there are whole branches of research in this domain.

I found some interesting challenges. First, growing up internationally does not define a normal population. (Some of you knew that, but in this case, I mean that there is no statistical norm around which the population clusters. Rather it is a collection of outliers.) Also, there is no clear population with which to compare. Perhaps the closest comparisons might be with children of similar parents who, for whatever reasons, did not grow up internationally, but of course every family is unique and there are lots of confounding variables. (Again, I mean that mathematically.) And even more, what is good for kids is open to a lot of discussion. If we base success on outcomes, do we talk about wealth, education, values, contributions and accomplishments, social status, health, happiness, or some combination of all of those?

To sum up what I found, growing up internationally neither assures success in all of life nor does it doom kids to poor outcomes. While it is an obvious difference, it is not the most important difference. In fact, no matter where you grow up, the two most important variables are the family that surrounds you and the person you happen to be. After that, everything that happens to you and all the relationships you have outside the family are also strong influences.

This is both relevant and informing to my work. I encourage those I care for to love those closest to them well, to respect, cherish, and nurture each child, grown up or not, in their uniqueness, and to provide safe, stimulating relationships and experiences as much as it is in our power to do so. Beyond that, I think we all need to pray a lot! As one of my favorite sayings goes, "Our parents disciplined us for a little while as they thought best, but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in God's own holiness."

In the one who keeps us, with love,

Steve and Laura

PS There are some outcomes that growing up internationally is associated with. Statistically, kids who grow up this way tend to be wealthier, have more education, and score better on standardized tests. They are also more likely to affirm their parents' values. If you are curious about any of these, let me know and maybe I will write more about this in the future.

Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920

mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920

Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <

lauraspinella@gmail.com>

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