Thursday, April 25, 2024

[TEAMspinella] In season and out of season

I suppose one way of looking at losses is like the passing of the seasons. When I was a young married person, my wife wanted me to write her a poem. If you like Taylor Swift or you've been watching the news, you may have heard of the Tortured Poets Department. In this one way, perhaps I was like Taylor in that I did not find poetry as easy to write when I wasn't a "tortured poet."

Nonetheless, my wife got a poem for her birthday, which is approaching once again. Don't get your hopes up, Honey! Somehow we both lost that 20-something poem along the way, but we still remember the first line: "Where will we be when you are 81 and I am 83?" And I guess after all these years, we still don't know. But the assumption was that it would be the winter season of our lives, which places 65 and 67 solidly in autumn, I think.

So we're still coming alongside people, but the relationships are closer at hand, and our resilience is somewhat lessened. Still, as I once said when we thought I might lose my international job, we could always work at the grocery store. She could be a checker since she's good at numbers and I could be a bagger, since I'm good at packing, and there would be people right there who would need love and care. Fortunately we haven't needed to do that so far!

So when we haven't been dealing with health, we've gotten to hang out with Laura's mom, our grandkids (5 now!), and mainly people here in Colorado Springs. And while we don't work at the stores, we still drop by! Laura and her buddies have kept investing in international women here in the community. I've also taught a couple Sunday School lessons and led a few more small groups, which was ostensibly what I was so busy prepping for back in the days when I wrote that poem.

There's also a lot of people we think about coming alongside, but we don't make it, or if we do, it's a lot less than we can imagine doing. I don't suppose that is particularly unique to us. People as introspective as we are, though, can spend a lot of time thinking about it and judge our actual efforts as somewhat lacking.

Is this what it's like to grow old? Or has life always been like this? And where will we be when she is 81 and I am 83? Meanwhile Laura's mom will be 92 within a month! Happy Birthday, Martha.

So I got a cold, but Laura got Covid. I had a sore ankle joint, but Laura is seeing an orthopedist about her shoulder. I need a tooth cleaning, but Laura just got a root canal. Does this mean I'm winning? I think I'll take a nap.

The seasons of life are passing and we're walking with a little less vigor, but we're still alive, just kicking a little less energetically. And as you can see, writing less frequent email updates and perhaps saying less as well.

One last story: When Joey and Laura had baby Corrie, who's doing well as are they, we headed up to their house and I skipped out on teaching a Sunday School lesson. Our coordinator said, "Fine, but will you teach an Easter lesson on Palm Sunday the next week?"

What do you say about Easter to people who've mostly been going to church and Sunday School for more than fifty years? As some of you know, I find it very difficult to say the same thing twice, much less….

I told them that no one saw the resurrection of Jesus coming—not then and not now, but we've become so used to it that we almost feel like it was obvious. On the contrary, I think it surprised pretty much everyone, believer or skeptic then, and it probably still should now. If you're really interested, I could send you my teaching slides. But hopefully at least no one will ask me to teach about Easter again, because then what would I say?!

Thanks for listening and see you later! Steve and Laura


Steve and Laura Spinella

US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920
mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <
lauraspinella@gmail.com
>

--
--
This is an email list for friends of Steve and Laura...
To reply to a posting, send email to steve.spinella@gmail.com or just hit reply to email Steve and Laura
To unsubscribe from this group, send email to TEAMspinella-unsubscribe@googlegroups.com
To see past emails, pictures, et al, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/TEAMspinella?hl=en
---
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "TEAMspinella" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to teamspinella+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com.
To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/teamspinella/CAB%3Do-CFctS2EZau5V%2BeGbWKeo%3DS-6T67ZGcNk6JOErj%2BPvRghw%40mail.gmail.com.

Wednesday, January 10, 2024

[TEAMspinella] Unexpected endings

When we left for Taiwan in 1996, we weren't sure how long we would last—neither were the people inviting us to come. We made an initial commitment of only two years, but within a year, the board of the Center for Counseling and Growth wanted to know if we would stay longer. We came back to the US for a short time to make our decision away from the daily pressures of adjusting to a new place, new culture, and new roles while we made the decision. As you can guess, we decided to stay longer.

After 10 years, a leading member of the community involved in training new arrivals commented that he was surprised we were still there. He didn't think we would stay…but we did!

So when we did leave, after 15 years, it was a big transition for us and for others. We had hoped to stay more involved even longer.

Lots of things conspire to bring about unexpected endings—including COVID, government pressure, finances, family circumstances, and relationships between coworkers. (Can you guess which ones are most likely causes for departure? There have been some studies on international ministry worker retention and the results include some surprises.)

Some people involved in Christian ministry like to say that ministry workers should be working themselves out of a job. I would suggest it's more like any other work—if you do the job well, there will likely be more opportunities to keep working, even if your role changes substantially. When we were preparing to leave Taiwan, who was saddest to see us go? Probably it was the people we were working alongside!

But today when I think about unexpected endings, I am most aware of my sister's death January 1. She's younger than me, was diagnosed with cancer later than me, and was full of life and love…until she wasn't. It was an unexpected ending in this world of the most decisive kind. All those factors in transition listed above fade in comparison to this one. The 14 months between discovery of the brain cancer and departure from this world went by way too quickly for those left behind.

There is no lesson to learn that takes away the grief of this loss for those who love Linda. If you want to grieve with those who grieve, don't ask or suggest that some lesson makes it worthwhile.

As we start a New Year, many of us are hoping that good things will develop and continue while difficult things fade and disappear. Yet there also may be some unexpected endings, even of good things.

How do we prepare for unexpected endings? Not too well!

·         Perhaps it will help if we fully embrace the present as a good gift.

·         Perhaps it will help if we keep our expectations low.

·         Perhaps it will help to hold our possessions, our roles, our relationships, and ourselves lightly, with an open hand.


We celebrated Christmas with our kids and grandkids. It was great fun, but sickness also met us there. So now we're not only hoping for great things in the days and months to come, but also health and resilience with which to enjoy them. While we were all still healthy, we visited a local cave. Caves can be scary for little ones, but they had flashlights, parents, and grandparents to get them safely through, making it both fun and memorable for us all. Perhaps that can be a metaphor for all of us in 2024—light and love to make it through whatever dark places are headed our way.


Steve and Laura Spinella
US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920
mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
<stevespinella@gmail.com> <
lauraspinella@gmail.com
>

--
--
This is an email list for friends of Steve and Laura...
To reply to a posting, send email to steve.spinella@gmail.com or just hit reply to email Steve and Laura
To unsubscribe from this group, send email to TEAMspinella-unsubscribe@googlegroups.com
To see past emails, pictures, et al, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/TEAMspinella?hl=en
---
You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups "TEAMspinella" group.
To unsubscribe from this group and stop receiving emails from it, send an email to teamspinella+unsubscribe@googlegroups.com.
To view this discussion on the web visit https://groups.google.com/d/msgid/teamspinella/CAB%3Do-CF5s%3DyBxCwXtTWEd0KvtU5ZQiB90%3Dv2-BnygDhJCqEh2A%40mail.gmail.com.