I think it was Jesus who said that the one who would be great must be willing to be a servant, so serving is certainly important. But I was struck this morning that a great servant must first be an observant. If we don't fully grasp the need and the opportunity, our efforts to make a contribution can easily go awry--or even do damage.
Crossing cultures seems to highlight this because our instinctual knowledge, honed through a conscious and unconscious cataloging of stories and experiences, was gained somewhere else, and the differences can be particularly frustrating.
Some of you know that I learned Spanish in Central and South America, and others of you know that Hispanic culture is high context--what makes communication more native-like is the ability to omit [a lot!] while focusing on only the relevant details. That is the introduction to my recent "fail."
I hired a local painter. He prefers Spanish and is from Michoacan, a state in central Mexico west of Mexico city. We were doing well--negotiating details, joking a bit, and doing business. But then I walked outside, a bit tired after a nap, and I thought he said he needed three more pieces of siding from the Home Depot to the east of us. He handed me a receipt from a past purchase, which I didn't look at closely in part due to not wearing close-up glasses, and I jumped into the car, got the siding, and brought it back. He did not seem particularly appreciative, but he was busy working....
And, yes, it turns out the receipt was for the three additional pieces of siding he had already bought. Indirectly, he was asking me to grab some cash and pay him back, and indirectly I was thinking he wanted me to go get them. Once I settled on that meaning, I ignored all the cues that could have corrected my understanding. I only realized the problem when for the first time he asked his 16 y.o. son to explain in English. Yes, one more miserable fail in language and culture negotiation, just when I was feeling marginally competent. I had to both accept responsibility and forgive myself--once again.
This morning our men's group [finally] finished Proverbs. I knew a bunch of old men digging into Proverbs 31, about the wife of noble character, could easily become a recipe for disaster. Then I noticed something, besides the fact that "observe" is a compound word containing "serve." Appreciation of this woman, real or archetype, requires noticing a lot of details about what she does, how she does it, and why it matters. That observing is fundamental to servant leadership of such a woman and almost anyone else.
It's also true that just about everything she does is worth emulating even if you are no woman at all!
You can probably think of your own stories that link serve and observe--and I would love to hear them. In the meantime, thanks for reading along and doing life as a servant.
In the One who keeps us, Steve and Laura
PS We're doing okay and still learning how to serve. One thing coming up this fall, though, is shoulder surgery for Laura, probably long overdue.
Steve and Laura Spinella
US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920
mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
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