Today is the last day. Tomorrow our plan is to meet a van in the Morrison Academy parking lot, downstairs from my sister's 7th floor flat, at 6:30 Taiwan time, which would be Tuesday 3:30pm Colorado time, and leave behind our alien residence in Taiwan for an (alien) residence in Colorado. So if you're in Taichung and you want to say one last goodbye, come see us tonight sometime around 8:30 to 10:00 at 7a in the Morrison Towers (DaLo), because tomorrow, my friend, will just be too late. We welcome you to come if you'd like.
I say the first must be last because every international (m, tck) person knows in their soul that the last day is coming when they live the first. Well, at least I think that way. From the time I made the (second) major move in my life, from Livermore, California, to Mesquite, Texas, I have had that slowly rising consciousness that life, my friend, is a series of transitions. And we are in one now, oh, how we are in one.
Saying goodbyes, or not saying them, here in Taiwan, it's been a recurring theme for me that the other people who grew up internationally feel the moment more painfully than I might expect. I hear the phrase, "I don't like to say goodbyes." Matt added, "But I know now I must. Otherwise all those unsaid goodbyes just stay inside."
Taiwan has a tradition of saying goodbye with a meal. Well, actually Taiwan has a tradition, more or less, of saying everything with a meal, but that's another story. I find myself somewhat unsure of whether we are significant to those around us--a quality of life, my friend, just a quality of life--or maybe an issue for counseling? Because of this inner wound, or perhaps withdrawal, I have savored every one of these meals, which, by the way, I don't have to initiate! That will soon change :-).
Yesterday had to have been the peak. It was a traveler's triple. I am beginning to think about what's next, and part of that is travelling. In order to connect while travelling I at least sometimes schedule around the meals, because that's when others are most available. So the traveler's triple is to eat three different meals with three different groups of people. I tried to watch my habit of nervous eating! Being in Taiwan, I had the three basic food groups: Western, Asian, and Chinese. In this case, it was actually blueberry pancakes and coffee, Thai food and milk tea, and a Hakka feast with homemade plum wine. Now that is fine eating and something to remember!
But I gag on the goodbyes even now. They are precious, each one including both the said and the unspoken.
The irony is that the Father has been taking us down this path for some time. Dave Pollock either made up or popularized R-A-F-T as a transition mnemonic. Reconciliation, about which I have written much in these updates, Affirmation, of which most us can never get enough anyway, Farewells, to people, places, patterns, and particulars, and Thinking of Things to Come, because no transition journey is complete unless it has a destination. (Remember, this can be read anywhere and everywhere in the world, so I try to use personal words, which are not meant to lie, but to require a person to read them and make sense, rather than a machine--if you don't know what "m" means or who "the father" is for us, just ask--we certainly don't mind talking about it.)
Complicated transitions, of course, have features that make a transition harder, and these come in many kinds. We are thankful this transition is not sudden, and that we can take some things with us. I've never ever taken so much in any of my international transitions! We're taking a ton of stuff--more or less, that would be 900 kg on pallets, and perhaps 200 kg more on the airplane, minus the 100 plus kg we're bringing back for someone else, so, yes, it's a ton of stuff! Don't worry, it's value is much greater in our eyes than in the eyes of any inspector that may open those boxes in route or in customs. And some of it is only valuable to one of us, not both of us! If you've ever moved, I think you know what I mean.
I'm glad we're taking a ton of stuff. This is making a huge difference to my wife, who did not grow up anesthetizing herself to the pain of transitions and watching her stuff get strewn and discarded across three continents. And yes, she has still had her losses, too, as have we all. Let's not compare our griefs, as we'll only end up devaluing somebody's and I can't imagine that helping! Actually, don't tell anyone, but I'm actually beginning to let myself think that I might see some of the objects to which I have become attached in Taiwan after I leave!
For me, one of the complications is that I've never lived one place so long as this, and perhaps I never will again--although the trend has definitely been to stay longer than I'm used to, so who knows? Could we end up staying in Colorado even longer? If we live so long? We don't think of ourselves as old, but there sure are a lot more younger people around than there used to be.
I'm beginning to think about things to come. And that's why it hit me that the first must be last in this particular way: those of us who are entering a new place, a new time, or a new community, must first be last, experiencing things for the last time, whether we know or accept it or not, in order to make room to experience things for the first time. The first must be last.
So whether we see you again (even today or before we go through security at the airport tomorrow,) we wish you a deep and sincere goodbye as alien residents of Taiwan, asking that we be reconciled, at peace with our disappointments and struggles, affirming that these relationships including ours with each one of you, whether here or not, have mattered very much in this place, and anticipating that there will be new life and new possibilities in Colorado, and, in fact, that more people will visit us there from around the world than have showed up in Taichung! And, if we haven't told you yet, you are invited to come!
Like any goodbye, even the longwinded must stop, and if you're still reading, you should probably ask us to put you directly on the list for our email updates if you're not there already!
With love from the far side, Steve and Laura
PS All our contact information is below, and next time the Taiwan lines will be missing! Maybe we'll wait a little longer before we take our emerging adult children out, just to space out the transitions a bit? We'll be seeing them when we arrive in Denver, as we all arrive the same day at the same airport. Then we'll be spending a couple weeks together, the first few days just the five of us, then all of us with Laura's parents for a Colorado Christmas. I predict we will see snow.
Dr. Steve and Laura Spinella, Sarah, Joey, Robby
Da Yi Street, Lane 29, #18, 2F-1, Taichung 404, TAIWAN
011 886 4 2236-6145, wk 2236-1901, fx 2236-2109, cell 9 2894-0514
USA: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920, 719.528.1702, cell 719.355.4809
TEAM, PO Box 969, Wheaton, IL 60187, 800 343-3144
<www.team.org.tw/spinella>, <www.team.org.tw/ccg> <spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>
--
This is an email list for friends of Steve and Laura...
To reply to a posting, send email to steve.spinella@gmail.com
To unsubscribe from this group, send email to TEAMspinella-unsubscribe@googlegroups.com
To see past emails, pictures, et al, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/TEAMspinella?hl=en
No comments:
Post a Comment