Over the years (note this phrase!), I have tried to write to you not just about ministry, but about life in international ministry, a topic some of you know very well and others appreciate from a slightly greater distance.
It occurred to me this morning that I'm 59 now, but I've never written about the late career stages for people in international ministry. I think I am there already!
When we went to Taiwan I was on the cusp of 40, but I still thought of myself as on the young end. Certainly when I entered that new world, I felt like a newbie, and I definitely made mistakes, some of which I would like to attribute to being…on the young end! Also we had three young children, two in kindergarten and a second grader. I don't need to remind you we now have three young adults, two married and one who just had some 20 other adults over last night so we could "meet his friends." A fine and capable group they are.
In general, people in international ministry get there by prioritizing that over a lot of other things. Hopefully God works that together for good. It can lead to some interesting negotiations through developmental challenges of adult life. For instance, our children never really grew up in the US! They didn't leave home for school before college, but I myself did and many others do also. When we did send them to college, we were on the other side of the world. Not unheard of, but perhaps more complicated than sending them from Houston to College Station. (I can say that now, I have an Aggie mug and two Aggies visiting this week. Shout out to John and Sarah Forcey, here visiting, married a year now, and perhaps within a year or two of those PhD's.)
As midlife develops, the decisions can get tricky. For instance, some have developmentally delayed children who will continue to need care. Some are still single with no clear place to call home or community in which to age. A few have health challenges or partners with health challenges like strokes, diabetes, cancer, and certainly obesity and arthritis. Many have aging relatives, who may need special care. Kids and grandkids are often scattered, typically diverse, and sometimes also alienated.
Many have developed specialized language and ministry skills for ministry niches that are now inaccessible or unadvisable. Some smoothly transition to new roles, others not so smoothly…. Some either burn out, losing their energy and passion to take on new challenges, or rust out, if you will, losing their relevance to new challenges and ways of doing ministry. Many exit fulfilling ministry roles to a set of options they find, well, less fulfilling, like working at Costco, delivering medications, or processing financial transactions.
Many have sacrificed some financial security and have more limited options. Most have lived without many things their peers have enjoyed. Raising funds for ministry often doesn't get easier or even more fun!
The bottom line for me is that people in international ministry, like all of us, need love, encouragement, and good allies throughout their whole lifecycle. I believe God can give all of us meaningful lives no matter our circumstances, but circumstances do matter. As you engage with people like us, please take time to listen, hold your assumptions loosely, and welcome us into your worlds while entering ours as well. And always pray!
Yours from not so far away, Steve and Laura
<spinella@alumni.rice.edu> <lauraspinella@alumni.rice.edu>
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