Healthy living amidst stressful choices? With that theme in mind let me tell you about the last several months.
In mid February, I made a trip to the land of pyramids, my second. Again I had some great conversations with brothers, sisters, and families working in very interesting circumstances and places. Along the way I also got tasked with giving a couple days training on encouragement, since these are folks who are themselves coming alongside others in many ways, particularly as they engage people in languages and cultures that they did not grow up in. One saying that was repeated often, "It is not a language to be learned, but a life to be lived." In other words, coming alongside means joining in the activities, ways, and interactions that make a community its own special group of people. It is only then that deep heart and soul influence takes place in the most lasting ways, by the father's grace. Of course, we talked a lot about healthy living amidst stressful choices. One particularly touching conversation was with a young worker who had recently lost both her father and her best friend, who then had to make an immediate decision whether to leave all she was doing and go directly back when she received word of her younger brother's totally unexpected death one week after the birth of his first son. In some ways, the choice to go back was easy (at least for a counselor,) but it was also incredibly stressful, not just for a moment, but for a long time ahead!
After just enough time to get over jet lag, I made a shorter trip to join a group of caregivers focused on the children, including youth and adults, of international ministry workers, sometimes known as "mk's" or "tck's." [These terms refer to kids of international ministry workers, or more generally to kids who grow up in a culture found at the intersection of multiple cultures, making itself a "third" culture that is neither the first nor any of the "second" cultures.] Again, a time for some great conversations. The stressful choice for me was that I came down with the local cold virus in between these two trips--imagine! As I drove over the Monument pass on my way to the airport I realized my ears were quite clogged, and I was planning to get on an airplane going much higher. Should I cancel my trip or proceed knowing I would be dealing with serious congestion and maybe even risk to my ear drums? (Actually the cabin is supposed to be pressurized to about the same pressure as our altitude, so it makes sense that the big adjustment came when we landed about 7000' lower. Yes, my ears were terribly clogged. No, I didn't break my ear drums. Yes, I had more great conversations and was glad I went, in spite of the discomfort.)
Meanwhile, Laura's dad Bob was coming down with pneumonia, both Martha and Bob (Laura's parents) got sick, and things generally were quite complicated for them and for us. In addition we've had an almost continual series of guests now, Laura calculates, from my return mid-March until now, and we're glad for all of them. Somehow, in between everything, we've also had most of our interior walls repainted, hardwood installed in the living/dining/kitchen area, and are anticipating carpet for the rest of the house installed later this month, probably while we're on another trip. This week, though, is our Paraclete Mission Group (sponsoring organization for our ministry) staff conference, which happens about every 18 months. We'll be staying onsite across town for that starting tonight.
In all honesty, I don't think our recent schedule stands out particularly from either the way we've lived the last several decades or the stories of the people I come alongside. Some stresses we choose, and some come looking for us. The challenge is to live well in the midst of these circumstances. In fact, researchers have suggested a certain level of stress is life-giving, and on the other hand, even really good things can be very stressful--like a wedding or a baby. Since this past week we've had a family of 5 with children 6 mos, almost 3, and 5 going through jet lag in our house we can tell you that those kids are wonderful...and stressful, especially in jet lag. And even for those alongside, like us!
What led to the original theme, though, was my health. Back in December we finally got in for thorough physicals for the first time in a few years. The MD was quite impressed with Laura's good health--her shoulder pain has been less recently, she exercises a lot, her weight is good, and she's approaching 60 (May 12, hint, hint) without being on any prescribed medications at all. The doctor wanted to change that for me, though, as she was quite concerned by my weight and my blood pressure, not to mention my sleep apnea (relatively speaking, I don't think she lost any sleep over my health concerns.) I have actually lost weight since then, perhaps 15 pounds, which is more than I've ever lost in my life. Thank you, Father! It's a good start, but will mean nothing without continued action. As a counselor I know (at least intellectually) that maintaining weight loss is actually harder than losing weight. And I have since found out that breathing deeply and regularly while taking blood pressure is much more effective than "trying not to be stressed." (This is one of those things apparently everyone but me already knew!) If I am very intentional about the breathing, even though I feel stressed while the blood pressure cuff squeezes my arm, my blood pressure goes down at or close to normal. Who knew?! Medication, on the other hand, makes almost no difference...if I don't breathe. If you're a pastor, mother, or over the age of 12, you might be able to draw some sort of lesson from this. I'm working on it. Laura pointed out that breathing deeply is a good thing almost any time! So I'm working on that too :-)
So healthy living amidst stressful choices has taken a very personal turn amidst all this, and that's rather good. It leads to even better conversations, and hopefully also better living. Please do keep remembering us before the father of all mercy, not just for what we might do or become, but for who we are, just as we are, still in need of redeeming grace every day and in every way.
With love, from both the far side and the near side now, Steve and Laura
PS I've gotten to teach a Sunday School class of adult peers a couple times this spring, most recently yesterday, and earlier, while I was in the midst of that cold I described above. As a result, I actually wrote out my lessons, which I almost never do. They're from Ecclesiastes, the book about which I once wrote my master's thesis and still one of my favorites. So if you're interested, shoot me an email and I'll send the manuscripts.
Note: We live in an age of political sensitivities, where words and comments can cause offense even if they were once accepted without concern, rightly or wrongly. It is because of such sensitivities in the world of international ministry that I avoid certain words in my emails, even though I hope a careful reader will be in no way confused about who I am or what I do. I recognize that this carefulness (about ministry-related words) doesn't matter to most of my readers, but I also know that these emails can travel far and wide, as I do also, so I do my best to put things in ways I hope can travel widely without causing offense anywhere. Thank you for your tolerance of these "work arounds," dear friends and family! And if I have offended, please let me know, because I care very much and would like to both change myself and make amends if it is possible to do so.
Steve and Laura Spinella
US: 1930 Springcrest Rd, CO Springs 80920mail: 9685 Otero Ave, Colorado Springs, CO 80920
Steve cell 719.355.4809, Laura cell 832.755.4261
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